


Love Hopeful

by cjjade



Series: The Power of Love [2]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Assertive Callum Highway, Bottom Ben Mitchell, Callum Highway has a Praise Kink, Callum is a good stepdad, Callum/Lola Friendship, Emotionally Hurt Callum Highway, Fluff, Gay Sex, Insecure Ben, Jealous Callum, Light Angst, Love Story, M/M, Marking, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Oral Sex, Overstimulation, Rimming, Semi-Public Sex, Top Callum Highway, soft Ben Mitchell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2020-12-16 12:28:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 66,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21036239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjjade/pseuds/cjjade
Summary: The first three-ish months of Ben and Callum's relationship mix with their insecurities/jealousy, Lee coming back, their families, and Mick realizing that even after thirty years, people don't change and secrets don't stay buried.





	1. Beginning Interrupted

**Author's Note:**

> I am going to try and stay as as close to canon as possible, except for Callum's past. I didn't know much when I started this so I am playing with it and a little bit with the Carters for this story.  
Sorry if Lee is out of character, been trying to watch old videos to get it but don't feel like I am very much.  
Thank You Jacey, you are wonderful!  
I will be adding tags as the story grows.

**Love Hopeful: Beginning Interrupted **

The first thing that Ben’s body noticed was the quiet, and not because he couldn’t hear but it was honestly truly quiet. His body could normally make out the vibrations of sounds throughout the house. He had learned how to feel footsteps as they come, and there were none. Then there was the sun, it was bright. He felt the warmth of the sun on his body. He had blackout curtains in his room, so this was not his room. Then he realized the warmth wasn’t from the sun but a body. The long firm hard body that his body was entangled with. 

His mind screamed “run run run” but his body ignored him curling more into the body like it was possible they could meld together. He felt warm, he felt comfy, and for the first time in god knows how many years Ben Mitchell felt safe. He moaned as his senses were overtaken by the earthy musky scene that was Callum Highway. He smiled as that scent fell over him like a blanket. He could feel Callum start to shift allowing Ben to curl more into his side. Callum’s scent was warm and welcoming, and honestly it was one of the best things Ben ever smelled in his life. He had been around the world, been in some of the best shops and cafés, been in bed with more men but nothing even came close to this one moment. 

Yesterday started to come back to him slowly, little pieces at first. He wasn’t sure if what happened with Paul was real or a dream, but whatever it was it certainly did the trick. He felt different, like something inside of him had been freed. It was like he finally got to say goodbye. He finally got the closure that he so desperately craved. Even if it wasn’t the real Paul, he knew the real Paul would have liked Callum. Lifting his head Callum was still asleep. He was a vision. Gently moving his hair out of his face Ben could not help how warm he felt inside. He knew it wasn’t love, but something inside of him told him it could be. Like for the first time since Paul, he believed he could have love again, that he deserved to have love again.

Ben didn’t know if sleepovers counted as going slow, nothing happened they did just sleep so he guess it’s allowed. He felt good, like for the first time in ages he felt rested and recharged. Callum looked even more innocent then he did normally. His hair was a mess going every which way, damp by the sweat of sleep and their combined body heat. Probably why his face was flushed as well. Ben wanted to lean down and kiss at his damp skin but didn’t know how Callum would take that. Since Ben was the one who initiated them going slow.

Ben didn’t want to move, once he moved reality would sink in. His mind would start to replay last night’s events. He would have to deal with the consequences of staying over instead of going home. He could almost imagine his father’s face, or what Jay was going to say. Slowly untangling his body from Callum he groaned as his body fought him, it wanted to stay in the warm little cocoon they had formed. Rolling to the side he picked up his glasses first, then his hearing aid. Smiling at the obvious care Callum took to place them as close to his side as possible. 

Sitting up he looked around, he and Callum were going to need to discuss the light in here. Looking up he saw sheer curtains, clearly Callum hadn’t redecorated since Whitney left. Ben tried not to scowl. Afterall it has only been a few weeks. It was clear that the sun didn’t bother him. Callum spent over a decade in the Army so Ben could only assume he had slept in much dire conditions than just a little too much sun. Didn’t mean he wasn’t going to bring it up, and maybe hint at him getting blackout curtains. Especially if his sleeping over was going to be a regular occurrence. 

Ben felt Callum groan as he started to wake up, mumbled words he couldn’t understand and shifting like his body was trying to find Ben’s. Ben wanted to laugh because it was the most adorable thing he’d seen. Callum began to open his eyes hissing as the sun hit him, okay maybe he wouldn’t be that hard to convince. Ben laughed as Callum turned the brightest shade of pink as he realized Ben was watching him. Callum smiled rubbing his eyes, Ben wanted to say something smooth something that showed his experience, but nothing came out as he opened his mouth. 

“Lola dropped you off an overnight bag last night,” Callum stated as he climbed out of the bed, watching Ben look at him like he had never seen him before. 

“Lola,” Ben repeated climbing out of bed, blinking at Callum. “Surprised Jay didn’t come running down here to drag me home? He and Lexi have been oddly attached to me lately.”

“You did get shot and almost die,” Callum reminded him, huffing when Ben rolled his eyes. “But we do need to speak about your brother, but I need to shower first.”

“What did Jay do,” Ben groaned as images of their conversation popped into his head. He looked over to Callum who had a strange look on his face. “Don’t say nothing because you just referred to him as my brother so that’s got to mean something.”

“I need a shower,” Callum told him running his fingers through his hair, his sweat damp hair. Ben grinned a moment later as Callum glared at the window when a ray of light shinned in his eyes. “And then I need breakfast.”

“How about you shower, then I’ll take one,” Ben started as he begun to look around the room for any of his clothes. “Then we’ll go grab something.”

Callum agreed because Ben’s idea right now sounded like a top-notch plan. He left the room because his body needed away from Ben’s body. It was like Ben’s body called to him. He couldn’t be near him without his body reacting. Like they were tied by some invisible string. Walking out he found Ben’s overnight bag where he tossed it the night before. Picking it up he sucked in a deep breath, he just needed to take a nice long ice-cold shower. Isn’t that what Chris always said he did to cool his body down. Callum now laugh softly as memories came to him, it explains why Chris took so many showers.

Ben looked up taking the bag smirking as he saw the pink sparkles and little unicorns, she had used Lexi’s bag. Taking a seat on the end of the bed Ben inhaled deeply as he forced his body to calm down. He wanted to invite himself to join Callum, but that wouldn’t be a good idea. They needed to take this a step at a time, he wanted this to be a relationship not another hookup. They had all the time in the world, and he wanted to prove not only to the resident of Walford but to himself this was going to mean more. It would just be too easy to fall into old habits. Callum was special. 

Ben realized seconds later he was sitting on the bed clutching Lexi bag like it was his lifeline. Laughing out loud he dropped the bag allowing himself to fall back on the bed to stare at the ceiling. The last almost day had been something of a complete dream if Ben was being honest. This time yesterday there was no way he would have believed he would have woken up in Callum Highway’s bed. He just needed to relax, he needed to mentally take himself down a few pegs, but most of all he needed his body to calm down. His heart rate was up, his body was flushed and hot, and he just really wanted his body pinned between Callum’s body and any surface. Looking towards the door he began to wonder if he could renegotiate this going slow agreement they made.

“You feeling alright,” Callum asked from the door way seeing Ben laying back on the bed with his hands over his face while doing what appeared to be breathing exercises.

“I’m fine,” Ben told him, then his mouth went dry at the sight of Callum. This was not fair; he was pretty sure if Paul was still watching he was either laughing or was the one behind this scene.

Callum Highway stood in front of him, wrapped in only a towel - an extremely thin lightly colored towel. Ben stood up looking away quickly as he saw Callum’s blush spread down his body. Ben did not need to look down Callum’s body right now. This was cruel. Because he could see the water sliding down his arms, he never realizes that Callum has nice arms. Nice strong arms, strong arms that could probably hold him up. Ben grabbed the overnight bags, hoping that looking at his daughter’s bag would help cool him down and change his strain of thought. It did not. Because now he could see the water sliding down Callum’s back, the back that he had seen before. 

He opened the bag to grab his contacts, he needed his contacts. Lola was nice enough to also pack his eye drops, along with the pills he took. Callum came behind him and pointed to the other side, Ben had no idea what words came out of his mouth though. As Callum was talking all he saw was damp ivory flushed skin that was just beckoning to be touched, kissed. Ben nodded, as Callum’s freshly clean scent overtook his senses. Ben wanted to close his eyes because Callum literally smelled like the earth right after the rain. Ben loved going outside after a good storm, everything felt and smelt so clean, so renewed, so fresh. 

He mumbled a thank you as his eyes met Callum’s and that was an even worse mistake, he should have just run off. Callum’s normally bright blue eyes were dark grey, like almost to the color of the sky during a sea storm. His face was flush pink as droplets of water slipped from his hair, Callum was still holding onto his thin towel that was now soaked. The towel that was the only thing keeping him his entire body hidden from Ben’s wondering eyes. Ben couldn’t hide the way his own blue eyes darken, or that his mouth went completely dry. He felt like his mouth was full of cotton, which has never happened. All Ben did know was that he wanted Callum’s body on his in any way he could have it.

Before Callum knew what was happening Ben grabbed his contacts and the few hygiene products he still had at the Beale house and ran. There was no smooth way to put it, Ben knew that, but he also knew--hoped Callum understood. Having Callum’s warm newly showered body that close was doing things to him. Things he liked. There was a tingle all over his body that he hadn’t felt in years. It wasn’t the feeling you get when you see someone attractive, it was different. It was like his body could sense Callum’s, and Callum’s could sense his, and they were like “hey you idiots.” Ben let out a pained groaned, because he could smell Callum everywhere in this steamy bathroom. It took Ben only a few seconds to realize, he wasn’t just smelling Callum’s scent mix with steam. All Ben could think was someone was having a laugh somewhere.

Callum leaned his head against the door of his closet, he needed his body to cool down. He felt out of control, like he had never felt this way not even as a teenager. Lee used to make fun of him because it was like he didn’t have a sex drive at all. As he started to get his breathing back to normal, he wished other parts of his body would follow. He just hadn’t expected the hunger in Ben’s eyes. No one had ever looked at him like that, not even Whitney. She had looked at him with desire, and a few times a needy expression but never like that. Callum could feel his hunger, could almost taste it. He wanted to do nothing more than crush his lips against Ben’s but that wouldn’t be a good idea. Ben wanted to take things slow, so they’ll go slow. 

Looking towards the way of the shower Callum wondered exactly how slow Ben was talking?

Callum decided he didn’t want to go out for breakfast, as he looked at his clock. It was almost eleven so soon it would be lunch. Slipping on a clean pair of joggers and t-shirt, he took Ben’s clothes out of the glittery bag. Placing them neatly on the bed so he’d be able to find them. Callum would just make then something to eat. If they tried to go out people would just want to talk to them. Or even worse they’d just watch them with knowing judgmental glances. He knew Jay would want to talk, and they needed to talk honestly but he just wasn’t ready. Walking out he went to the kitchen; he’d just toss together something. Maybe pancakes and bacon, Ben mentioned he hadn’t had those in a while. Callum hissed when there was a knock at the door, he prayed it wasn’t Jay. 

“Whitney,” Callum greeted not even forcing himself to smile, Whitney frowned she hadn’t meant to go as far as she did the day before.

“Don’t think I have ever heard Halfway use that tone before,” Lee joked coming into view smiling.

“Lee Carter,” Callum shrieked, Whitney let out a small scream of surprise as she was pushed aside before being squished. 

Pulling Lee towards him in a hug, Callum couldn’t believe how good it felt to have his best mate this close again. It had been years since he’d seen Lee, sure they spoken regular through email then of course text but this was different. It was just a different feeling to know he had Lee in his arms, that Lee was safe. Callum had changed so much since his younger days of hiding from Jonno at the Carters. Sometimes it felt odd to think back to those days, like it was a different world. 

Stuart and Mick were mates, only a year apart. Sometimes it was weird to think about. Callum wondered sometimes if that was why he always felt unwanted. He was only two and half years older than Lee. Linda babysat him quite a bit, and then Lee came along. It was almost destined they’d be best mates. But life was cruel, Elenore left and things went from not good to seriously bad as time went on. He enlisted the day he was legally able to. Linda and Mick were there to see him off with Lee. Stuart never quite forgave him for leaving, but they were getting better. 

Stuart had asked him, and even Ben once or twice had asked him about his feelings for Lee Carter. Callum could honestly say he never saw Lee or Johnny as more than anything than mates. Maybe it was because he saw Mick as a paternal unit, he automatically looked at them as brothers. Letting go he ushered Lee into the house, turning around to see Lee’s amazed look. Callum looked good. Like Lee had never seen him look this fit before. He could honestly see why Whitney fell for him. This wasn’t his childhood mate that Lee had to protect from the bullies. 

“What are you doing here?” Callum asked forgetting that he had Ben in the shower, looking over to Whitney who looked slightly uncomfortable. Callum didn’t want to be that person but he was slightly okay with that, after what she had said yesterday. But he also felt bad too because he wanted her happy. 

“Just here for today I’m afraid,” Lee sighed looking around, noticing a jacket that definably wasn’t Callum’s. He needed to figure out a way to talk to Callum alone. “But I’ll be back for two weeks during Christmas this year.”

“Mick said Johnny was coming down as well,” Callum smiled watching Lee nod, but he sensed right away something was off. Looking at Whitney he began to wonder what Lee had been told. 

“Callum what did you do…” Ben yelled coming out then stopping as he saw Whitney and Lee, Ben did not miss Whitney gasp of shock.

“Ben Mitchell,” Lee stuttered wide eyed as he took in his appearance.

Stepping out of the shower Ben felt good, like he felt recharged in a way he hadn’t in a long time. Callum’s scent was all around him, and it felt nice knowing Callum had been in the same shower just moments before Ben had. His wound was healing nicely, he didn’t expect to be healing as quick as he was. Looking in the mirror Ben smiled, his face was finally all healed up. It was strange after the last few months to see his face unmarked by bruises and scrapes. Ian was making bets to see how long it lasted. Closing his eyes, he took in the scent once more before he went for his clothes--his clothes that he did not grab.

Ben was happy that Lola packed his contacts, this whole situation was making him feel vulnerable. With Callum he felt open and raw, like there was no way of hiding anything from the man. These would at least help a little bit. Not that he wanted to hide from him, he liked that Callum saw him. He also didn’t know how to handle this any other way then being Ben Mitchell, and if he hurt Callum he’d never forgive himself. Wrapping the towel around his lower body, he peeked outside the door to see if Callum placed them there -- no luck. He walked towards Callum voice. He didn’t register any of Callum’s words just his voice. 

The idea that Callum was not just talking to himself or on the phone never occurred to him. Well didn’t until he stood face to face with Lee Carter and Whitney Dean. Whitney whose eyes went so wide he couldn’t see anything but the whites, then heard her gasp of utter shock as she turned pink. Callum needed better towels, thicker longer darker towels. Ben watched her look at Callum like she didn’t know what was happening, like the idea of Ben being here was so out of the blue. Then Ben recalled what he _dreamed_, maybe it was in her mind. Then he heard Lee stutter his name, saw him look at his childhood mate like he had never seen him before. Ben’s heart ached in those few seconds until Callum’s voice broke the silence. 

“I’m gay,” Callum announced. 

TBC


	2. I'm Gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Callum take their relationship to the next level

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for all the feedback, it swells my hearts and really helps. I planned this story to be three chapters, and it ended up being seven. Once I started editing this story something took over me, I blame the way Ben looks at Callum lol. This was originally the end to chapter one but Jacey recommended making it its own chapter, and I agreed.
> 
> Thanks to Jacey for beta reading!

**Love Hopeful: I'm Gay**

Callum’s voice was so small you could hear the cracks as he said the words that had terrified him his whole life. Ben knew that inside Callum was nothing but a bundle of nerves. He knew that Callum was dying as Lee just looked at Ben never moving his gaze. Like some people thinking Ben had waved some magic wand or spoke some pretty words to converted Callum into the gay life. Ben hated people like that. Like he would have chosen this life. He tried to fight even more so than Callum. He didn’t want to be gay. He didn’t want his father to look at him like he was less of a man. He’d give anything to have Phil Mitchell look at him like he did when he thought he was straight, like he was his equal. 

Callum’s voice was shaky and broken but his body wasn’t. Callum’s body was standing tall, his eyes dead set on Lee, looking at him now you knew he was waiting. Waiting for Lee to speak, waiting for Lee to make his move, and Callum was patient. He was more than anyone gave him credit. He looked goofy and innocent, but Callum was a soldier. He was a man who starred down a gunman, who pulled a lost teenage tight against his own body as a train almost crushed them both, he was the very man who challenged Ben daily. Callum Highway was one of the strongest people Ben had even known. Yet the very idea of simply just being himself scared Callum into a hiding hole. 

Ben never actually heard him say it yet, those words _“I’m gay.”_ He’d heard him say yes when people asked “are you gay” or to “so is it true about you” but he’d never heard Callum say the actual words out loud. Not even to him. Ben didn’t realize how much fear he was holding inside until Callum spoke the words. He wondered if Callum would want to remain closed off, maybe keep their relationship on the down low. Now he knew Callum was ready to live as an out man. Ben did expect to see him waving a rainbow flag tomorrow, but he had begun to take the first steps to true acceptance. 

“Is that why you are so fit now,” Lee joked trying to lighten the mood, waving his hand up and down, laughing as Callum turned bright red.

“Shut up,” Callum snapped but there was no venom in his voice, Ben looked at Whitney who shrugged. Callum sighed, “Before I joined the Army, I was a little…”

“Chubby,” Lee finished poking at him tummy, laughing more as Callum punched him away until he fell back on the couch. “Shorter too, you grew like two feet since I last saw you?”

“Callum my clothes,” Ben asked not missing the fact that Whitney’s eyes were still on him, and not in a way that most woman looked at him. He was pretty sure if she could find a way, he’d be stone right now. He watched Callum and Lee rough around a bit. 

“I put them on your side of the bed,” Callum stated pushing Lee back down hard enough he heard a thump. Ben nodded as visions of them as kids wrecking Linda’s furniture popped in his head. Ben smiled not missing Whitney’s look.

“Don’t break the furniture,” Ben warned as he walked off to the bedroom, Lee giggled as Callum turned back to pink, then laughed as Callum punched him when he poked his sides.

“Can you two act like grown men,” Whitney snapped hands on her hips, this was getting to be too much. 

Whitney was just grateful she wasn’t with either of them anymore. Or the fact that Callum hadn’t made a return to Walford before he did. Because if she had to deal with them like this, she would have killed them both. She knew it because right now they just looked at her and started laughing. It wasn’t a small laugh either it was a big childish laugh like they knew some great secret. These were two grown men in the mid to late twenties and they were acting like they were fifteen. No wonder Linda looked so relieved when Whitney agree to take Lee over to surprise Callum. 

Mick had left right before Lee had walked in, Linda screaming in delight to see her son. It had been a good moment. Somehow, he already knew about the failed wedding to Callum, and the breakup. At least Linda looked away appearing to be shameful, before changing the subject. Whitney was a little taken back by how much Lee wanted to see Callum. She knew he had not seen him in almost ten years, but something felt off. Now seeing them she realized he just wanted to see his oldest mate. 

“Ben Mitchell,” Lee smiled standing up watching Callum shrug. If you ask him ten minutes after he doesn’t know why he said it, but he did. “Certainly got the Carter taste mate.”

“Lee,” Whitney warned eyeing Callum who looked confused, as his carefree smile faded.

“What does that mean,” Callum asked frowning looking at Whitney then to Lee who suddenly looked nervous and guilty. “What’s going on? Lee?”

“Mum wanted to do drinks tonight at the Vic,” Lee told him trying to ignore what he just did, but Whitney obviously did not.

“Ben and Johnny were involved,” Whitney explained gently, she didn’t know much about their relationship only what she heard. 

“Involved?” Callum repeated looking at her, as she opened her mouth Lee stood in front of her.

“This is a conversation for Halfway to have with Ben not you,” Lee scolded her watching her face go cold before walking off. Lee turned to Callum smiled softly. “Bring Ben, give us all a chance to catch up.”

Callum felt like the floor was swallowing him up as Lee walked out the door. He could hear Whitney go on about how he needed to know the truth about Ben Mitchell. Callum wanted to storm out there, wanted to tell her he had no delusion when it came to Ben. He knew Ben had a rich history hell no one was shy to tell him. Linda was the first to tell him about Paul and Abi when Ben first came back to town. Whitney and her friends spoke about Lola and Lexi. He knew Ben had a history. Ben made sure he knew every detail of his dates especially after the park, but no one ever spoke about him and Johnny Carter. 

Dating Whitney was bad enough, she’d bring up Lee or someone else would. When they did it would sting, because with her he knew he could never compare. She didn’t do it to hurt him, but they had been married. She loved Lee, and he wondered if maybe she wasn’t still in love with him. He had a feeling if Lee asked, she’d at least consider leaving with him. He even heard about her and Mick, he knew there wasn’t much to tell but he heard about it. So why had not one person told him about Ben and Johnny. 

Closing his eyes, he wondered if Johnny was the guy Jay had hinted at. He always hinted at this guy Ben was into before Paul, a guy that matched Ben personality wise. Jay then would state that he had started to connect with this said guy after Paul. _Nothing ever came of it,_ Jay would tell, _maybe it just wasn’t their time,_ Jay had said a few times. He had seen pictures of Johnny, and it made his stomach twist. Johnny was the type of guy Ben was used to being with. He had only been with Ben, and that was their one drunken encounter. 

Walking towards the bed he didn’t hear any movement, he wondered if Ben maybe climbed back into bed. Or maybe he went back to the bathroom to get ready for his day. Peeking his head into the room he saw Ben sitting on the bed, from what he could tell he was still naked. From here it looked like Ben was trying to calm his breathing again. He walked inside the room Ben had not stirred until Callum was by him. Ben looked up, his face relaxed, as he started to stand his hands going for his clothes. 

“Johnny Carter,” Callum stated watching Ben let out a rugged breath, he couldn’t tell if he was angry or not.

“Whitney,” Ben grumbled closing his eyes, he and she were going to have it out soon. He could somewhat understand, she was hurting but Callum was gay. It wasn’t like he left her for another woman. 

“Jay vaguely mentioned him a few times,” Callum sighed taking a seat on his bed, watching Ben’s face soften. “He never said the guy’s name, guess I know why now.” There was a pause, Ben didn’t know what to say, Callum just looked hurt. “I know you have a history that probably way more…than mine.” 

“Callum we were drunk at a party…it was a onetime thing,” Ben swore sitting next to him, he didn’t ever want Callum to feel like this. Ben had met men who had made him feel less, first for being inexperienced then for having too much experience. “I swear It never happened again we are just mates.”

“You don’t owe me an explanation,” Callum told him because it was the truth, but he still felt less somehow. How could he ever compare to anyone in Ben’s past? “This happened years before we even met." Callum looked up at Ben, "Right?”

“Yes,” Ben smiled, Callum watched him nod gently. Ben didn’t like the look on his face, he looked so hurt. “I need you to know you are different, this is different.”

“I know,” Callum mumbled looking down at his hands. “It’s one thing to hear about your past, but to put a face with it…" Callum pauses again. "It reminds me I have no idea what I am doing.”

“There’s no rule book,” Ben smiles at him, watching Callum nod. “I want to be your boyfriend. I want you to be able to trust me.”

“I trust you more than anyone,” Callum admitted leaning forward connecting their mouths, Callum swallowing Ben’s gasp of surprise. It ended as soon as it began, Callum softly smiles as Ben lips followed his for another kiss. 

Ben felt split open and raw more so then he had ever felt in his entire life. It was like Callum was looking right into his very essence, there wasn't a part of him he couldn't see. Every wall he had ever built had just crumbled into ash and dust with just one kiss. Crushing their mouths back together again, Ben felt Callum hands in his hair tugging lightly. God he loved Callum's hands, they were so massive and callus rough yet so utterly gentle. How did someone with coarse hands have such a tender touch. Ben felt himself being lifted up the towel being torn away as Ben's legs automatically going around his waist. Callum's mouth was demanding, needy, desperate, as he bit down on Ben's lower lip hard so he'd open to him. 

Ben gasped as he felt his entire body being overtaken with the tingling sensations that had him clinging to Callum. Moaning when Callum's mouth moved to where his neck and shoulder met just as his back hit cool sheets. Callum covered him completely. Ben's fingers gripping at the thin shirt Callum was wearing, he needed it off Ben needed skin to skin contact, his body was craving it. Callum moved above him to his knee quickly ripping his shirt off tossing it aside. Ben pulled him back down, needing that contact back, he felt out of control. Both laughing as their mouths crashed together, Ben gasped Callum's name as he moved his hips forward, his semi hard cock rubbing against the material of Callum's joggers.

Callum's mouth was deadly, Ben moaned as teeth nipped at that place on his neck that only a handful of people ever found, most of them not caring. Callum's mouth moved lower the moment Ben started repeated "don't stop" over and over like prayer. Ben had not had sex in weeks. First because when he did try all he saw was Callum's face then he was recovering from being shot. His entire body felt like live wire. Each spot of skin that Callum kissed, nipped, or sucked just threw him closer to the edge. He hadn't been this desperate since his teenage years.

Ben taste amazing. Callum lifted his head opening his mouth, he needed to know this was okay. Ben pulled him back in, Callum pinned his hands above his head. Ben made a sound that Callum couldn't put into words, but it was delicious. "I need to know this is okay Ben," Callum whispered against his ear, then gave Ben's jaw a harsh nip when he didn't say anything "Ben." "This is so okay Callum." Ben assured him "Please don't stop," Ben begged trying to moving his hips against Callum's thighs but he had him pinned down. Callum smirked leaning down to place a string of kissing on his jaw down his chest, then lower. Needy Ben was breathtaking, he didn't get a chance to enjoy this sight last time.

Callum moaned as Ben pulled his hair as teeth sank into Ben's hip, he wanted there to be marks. Callum wanted Ben to know that he was taken, he wanted to claim his body in a way no one else ever had. Lifting himself up for only a second, taking in the sight of Ben's hard cock to his ivory thighs the called to him. Moving his lips from Ben's hip to his thighs. He sucked several marks into the tender flesh then moved to the other one. Giving it the same treatment as this time he nipped leaving a small bruise. Ben breathing was coming out ragged, Callum was so close to where he wanted his mouth. He tried a few time to move his head only to have Callum give him a bite as a warning. 

Callum was in charge, and god did Ben love this assertive dominating side of Callum. This was his Callum, no one else got to see this side of Callum. It was his, and only his. 

"Jesus" Ben shrieked out as Callum took his balls into his mouth, Ben remembered this from their first time together. Callum unlike many could fit both into his mouth, and god did they both enjoy this. Callum moaned as Ben grabbed at his hair. Looking down at him Callum gave just a little more pressure as Ben let out "so good, you are doing so good. Don't stop baby." Falling back on the bed, he wondered with a laugh if he could survive a lifetime of Callum Highway. Ben had a theory that Callum had a praise kink, and at some point he wanted to experiment and see if it was true. But right now he just had to enjoy the ride as his legs wrapped around Callum's shoulders. Grabbing the sheets as Callum's mouth moved in the right direction. 

Ben's cock was hard, Callum licked his hand before wrapped it around giving him a few tugs before his thumb went to the swollen red crown. Bending his head forward to lick the precum that glistened the slit. He could hear Ben who was begging, his body now moving on its own trying to reach that blissful end. Ben tasted like heaven. "Yes Yes" Ben yelled as Callum took him into his mouth, he couldn't go down as far as he knew Ben was probably used to so he used his hand. He started to use his tongue to massage the crown then dipped into the slit before sealed his lips around the head giving a hard loud suck. Callum then repeated this whole process until Ben came with cry of his Callum's name on his lips.

When Ben opened his eyes Callum was on his knees licking his lips and wiping the spit off his chin. Ben harshly pulled Callum down to him needing to taste him, he needed to know Callum like Callum now knew him. Rolling them over Ben tugged at Callum's joggers demanding "off now" as he moved to Callum's jaw kissing to his neck. Callum lifted his hips up to slide them down, but it wasn't an easy task with someone's body on yours. Ben did as much as he could to help him, but he was more invested in sucking marks into Callum's neck and shoulder. Kicking them off Ben let out a harsh intake of breath as he grabbed Callum's shoulder when Callum lifted him up so they were now sitting facing one another. Ben couldn't hide how much Callum's strength turned him on. They had so many things to explore. 

Ben took in Callum's appearance, swollen red puffy lips, flushed sweaty skin, eyes so dark they looked grey, uneven breathing. His normally gelled hair was wet from the sweat, going every which way covering his face, all in all he looked like perfection. Ben wanted to capture this moment and keep it forever. "Do you have lube," Ben whispered softly his hands moving hair out of Callum's face as his thumb pressed against Callum's lower abused lip. Callum hand went over to open the drawer, grabbed the bottle of lube handing it to him. Ben smirked when he felt it was half used, he wanted to comment but didn't want to push a boundary. Ben didn't want to assume but Callum didn't seem like the type into dirty talk, but they'd discuss that later. 

Callum dropped his head forward as Ben gripped Callum's cock, starting to move his hand up and down slowly, his thumb massaging the head. He did this for a few seconds until Callum's breathing was unsteady, then pushing him back he took Callum into his mouth. Callum grabbed the head board as Ben gripped his thighs moving them apart as he took Callum deeper. Soon Ben let one of the thighs go to tap him on the hip hoping Callum got the hint, Ben praised whoever was listening that he did. Slowly at first Callum began to move then started to go faster as Ben seemed to like it. And like it Ben did, it was like Callum's body was made for him. He was the perfect size that Ben could take him all with little struggle but thick enough it gave him that burn he loved and craved so much. 

Ben let go of him with a pop, Callum groaned missing the warmth around his cock. Ben climbed up his body their mouths coming together again, both moaning as their taste mingled together. "I need you inside me," Ben begged. Callum nodded rolling them back over, taking the lube. Ben hissed blissfully moments later as one of Callum's finger slide inside of him. Callum took the finger out sealing his lips around the hole, he didn't like Ben's hiss. "Oh hell," Ben cried out. He slowly licked and nipped until his tongue was inside, Ben moved his hips until Callum pinned his hips down. Callum thrust his tongue in and out enjoying the taste and the sounds he was getting from Ben. Callum moved up to lick at Ben's balls as his finger slowly slide inside of Ben's body again, Ben moaning overwhelmed by the duel sensations. 

Adding a second finger Callum lifting his head to watch Ben's face, his own breath catching. Moving them inside slowly Ben begged for more for harder, Callum spread the fingers apart increasing the speed of his thrust while watching Ben's face. Smiling as he curved his fingers and found the tiny nub. The nub that caused Ben to squeal and grab for the headboard as he tried to increase the thrust. Callum was barely touched it, just giving it the lightest brushes every few thrust. Ben kept his eyes closed, he knew he couldn't look at Callum or he would lose it instantly. Then his third finger soon slowly slide inside, the stretch had Ben moaning. "Okay I'm good," Ben snapped. he couldn't take this slow anymore. Pushing Callum away then grabbing him to flip him on his back. Callum laughed, "Condoms are in the same drawer," he advised watching Ben nod. 

Callum felt all the air get sucked out of his body as Ben sank down on his cock so very slowly. There wasn't a word that existed that could describe this moment for either of them. Ben moved slow at first, not only because his body demanded it but also because he didn't want this over too quickly. He wanted this to be good for both of them, he wanted Callum to feel as good as he was making Ben feel right now. So he moved up and down slowly as his body adjusted then slowly increased his thrust as he felt Callum's instincts take over. 

Ben grabbed onto the headboard, oh he loved headboard, Callum's hands going to his hips to keep him steady. Ben rode Callum, like he did in every dirty fantasy he had since their meeting. He rode him fast and hard. Callum's hands moving up and down Ben's back, feeling the sweat and muscles under his finger tips. Moving them down to Ben's thighs that were starting to shake. It all felt too good, like it was too much. If Callum wanted he could just let go but he didn't. His body wanted to claim Ben's. 

Soon Ben found himself on his back looking into dark grey eyes. Callum leaned forward connecting their lips as Callum's hips began to move gently. Ben clung to him, moving his thighs part. Callum gripped those fleshy thighs, moving them up so Ben was open wide to him. Callum began to thrust into his heat hard and frantic, shifting his angle just enough to have Ben screaming. Ben's hand went to his cock jerking along with the thrust, he was so close he could almost taste it. The moment Callum teeth sank into his flesh Ben's nails start to gnaw at his back. Until that moment Callum had never understood the appeal to pleasure pain, thinking people were mental. The moment Ben's nail dug into his skin, the moment Ben's body tightly contracted around his, he lost all sense of right and wrong. 

"So definitely gay," Callum joked as Ben fell on top of him laughing.

"Good to know," Ben half laughed half yawned lifting his head slightly. Hoping nobody came by soon because there was no way to hide they'd just had sex, and he knew Callum would die. 

"We are going to need to shower before going to the Vic," Callum mumbled looked down at Ben who looked sleepy, and a little confused. "Lee invited us, Linda wants to have drinks since he's home."

"I don't know," Ben frowned as Callum rolled them over, thinking of how people may react. He didn't want Callum to have to deal with people's reactions to him dating a Mitchell.

"I'll let you shower with me," Callum smiled bending down to kiss that place on his neck, Ben moaned softly seeing he was willing to play dirty.

"Can we get some food and maybe a nap first," Ben asked closing his eyes as Callum nipped at his jaw.

"Deal," Callum agreed sliding out of bed to grab his joggers they kicked away. "How do pancakes and bacon sound?"

"Perfect," Ben replied enjoying how free Callum seemed right now. Ben assumed maybe Callum would be a bumbling mess, but it was like he forgot to be shy. Then suddenly Callum realized Ben was watching him dress, taking in each mark on his body. Then Ben got the pink blush he had been so craving. "If you are cooking bacon you'll probably want a shirt babe."

Callum nodded grabbing his shirt from earlier putting it on quickly, then realizing it was on inside out. He could hear Ben's soft laughter as he took it off and put it back on correctly, but Callum didn't care. Nothing could ruin his mood right now. He just had sex, like really good life changing sex. Right now in this moment he could understand why people liked sex. He could finally almost grasp why Ben loved it. His last time with Ben had been tarnished by the fact he cheated on Whitney. Don't get him wrong it was still incredible but he didn't like to think about it. 

Jumping around the kitchen he happily got the things out he needed, he couldn't ever remember being this joyful. The food didn't take long to make, soon he was taking a plate to Ben who he honestly expected to be asleep but he wasn't. He was on his phone, sounded like talking to Jay. They said their goodbyes. After the food was done, Callum took the plates into the kitchen. Climbing back into the bed, it took him all of five seconds to realize Ben wasn't interested in sleeping. And the idea of spending the day naked in bed with Ben, felt like the best idea ever. 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soap ages always get me lol. These are ages and birthdays (according to Wiki) that I am using for this story since I have had several people ask me. 
> 
> Callum Highway: 28 (March 13)  
Ben Mitchell: 23 (March 21)  
Jay Brown: 23 (October 7)  
Lola Pearce: 23 (July 3)  
Lexi Pearce: 7 (July 23)  
Stuart Highway: 43 (Sept 14)  
Mick Carter: 44 (Jan 19)  
Linda Carter: 44 (July 1)  
Lee Carter: 26 (Nov 17)  
Johnny Carter: 23 (Sept 26)


	3. Family Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Callum go for drinks with the Carters then later celebrate Jay's Birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank You Jacey!
> 
> Thank You all for the kudos and comments!

** Love Hopeful: Family Dates  **

Ben sat on the couch talking to Lexi, who was going on about her day. He looked up as Callum walked out of the bathroom, haired fixed, the fitted button up green shirt and jeans. He had never seen those jeans before, but damn did he look good. Ben knew he didn’t have any idea that Ben was watching him because his movements were smooth and fluid. Walking around fixing his collar and, smoothing out the wrinkles as he fixed a button. Soon Ben head snapped back as Lexi realized he wasn’t paying attention.

Ben laughed Lexi was his daughter to a tee. She may have Lola’s last name, but she was more Mitchell, sometimes he could see himself shine in those eyes. He was proud of her, so was strong and capable. Even at the young age of seven she made sure people knew she was in charge. She could sweet talk anyone into anything. Ben didn’t mind people know he’d do anything for her, give her anything, but Phil was another case. All she had to do was walk up to Phil with that pout of hers and sad eyes and he melted instantly. 

Callum laughed as Ben leaned his head back trying to end the conversation with his daughter, but anyone could see he didn’t want to. Lexi was his world, everything good he did, anything he made was for her. Grabbing the last of his items he heard Ben laugh and promised that tomorrow he would be all hers. Leaning against the counter Callum’s heart melted as promises of baking cookies for a tea party was made. Ben sighed as he agreed to even wear one of his nice suits since it would be a royal affair. 

“You are a really good dad Ben Mitchell,” Callum told him pulling him up from the couch, leaning forward connecting their mouths deeply.

“None of that Halfway,” Ben replied mocking a stern look as he pushed him away. “We don’t need your ex breaking down the door because we didn’t show tonight.”

“Don’t call me that,” Callum begged with a deep frown, Ben wanted to ask more questions but knew now wasn’t the time or place. 

Ben had always wondered how he got the name Halfway, wondering if it was supposed to be a play on his last name. Ben himself had made a few jokes but that was honestly to get a rise out of Callum. Now looking at the deep frown and the way his face went to a mix of hurt/numb while his eyes went icy, he couldn’t help but wonder. But right now wasn’t the time or place to have this conversation. His childhood mate was in town for one night only. From what Ben saw earlier it was going to be a fun night. He gave Callum his classic smirk leaned forward for a quick kiss, feeling Callum warm up. Callum sighed into the kiss, groaning as Ben cut him off.

Callum knew that they weren’t late, as they didn’t have an official time to meet Lee and the rest of the Carters, but it felt weird. He and Ben had not even been on their first date yet. But they had managed to kick the whole going slow thing in its teeth within twelve hours of Ben initiating it. Callum did not miss the eyes that went to them as Ben walked onto the street as he followed him. He took a deep breath, he could do this, he spent all his life scared. He didn’t have to be anymore. Ben would never push him, plus one look to his neck and they’d know what he’d been up to. Most the marks had faded for the most part but there were still some faints ones. He knew the chances of Lee not mentioning them were slim to none. 

Walking outside Ben smiles as Callum hand went for his as they started walking down the way to The Vic. Ben knew Callum would be touchy, he was a very tactile person. Ben had watched him with Whitney enough to know that that. Callum like hand holding, didn’t mind kissing in the middle of the square for no reason, he liked to be touched. Hell, he probably wouldn’t even budge if Ben sat down on his lap. But part of Ben wondered if it would be the same with him as it had been with Whitney. He hadn’t been out long, plus their relationship was just beginning so he had prepared himself. It was clear Callum was not going to need a transitional period from being seen in a heterosexual relationship to being out with his new boyfriend.

Walking inside The Vic Whitney tried to keep her smile when she saw Ben and Callum enter together, holding hands. She wanted him to be happy, she wanted to be happy but there was a part of her that couldn’t be. She knew that Callum didn’t mean to hurt her, she knew he meant to do right by her, but he hadn’t. He broke her heart, but she wanted them to be mates. She wanted them to move past this and be able to talk like they used to. There had always been something off about their relationship. She thought it was his lack of experience but now she knew it was because he was gay. 

“You look good mate,” Lee told him welcoming him into a hug, Mick watched curious. Lee had been off all day, and he couldn’t pinpoint why. “I mean it, you look…happy.”

“Shut Up,” Callum blushed looking away from Lee, ignoring Mick’s laugh.

“See now there’s the Halfway I know so well,” Lee laughed as Mick came up to them patting them on the back.

‘Where’s your boy Halfway,” Mick asked softly wanting Callum to know they accept him.

“Went to grab us drinks,” Callum smiled taking a seat as his eyes went to Ben. Ben who looked to be in a conversation with Whitney, as Callum stood up he got pushed back down by Mick. 

“Let them talk,” Mick told him looking at Lee who looked just as worried as Callum, but they listened. 

Lee and Callum watched Ben and Whitney their faces never changed, then they saw Ben give a small smile with a nod. Soon they were both walking over with their drinks. Callum watched as Whitney smiled at Lee and Mick. She was trying, they all knew this was a difficult situation for everyone involved. Lee had been shocked when he heard the news, but Callum was the best guy he knew. There wasn’t another man who Lee would trust as completely as he did than Callum Highway. He had seen Stuart this morning and proceeded to avoid him as much as humanly possible. 

Lee had heard that Stuart almost moved in with Callum, but it didn’t work out. No one went into more details than that, and Lee honestly didn’t care beyond the fact that Stuart needed to stay clear from Callum. Lee felt heavy, he didn’t want to have to do what he was about to. Callum looked happy. Like Lee had never seen him in all the years they’ve known each other look as happy as he did right now. The way he looked at Ben could take your breath away. Lee watched as they talked for a moment, voices soft but he didn’t miss the blush on Callum’s cheek or the smirk on Ben’s lips. 

Lee watched as Ben took Callum’s hand. Ben was being softer than Lee could ever remember Ben Mitchell being. Lee felt bad for this morning, he wanted it to be a joke. He had something they needed to discuss, and he had hoped his joke would lighten the mood. It did not. It had been so long since they’d seen each other. Within seconds of being in the same room the years faded away, and they were teenagers again. Whitney disapproving gaze and irritated tone reminded him of his own mum. 

Lee smiled he was seeing Callum like he never got to see him in the past. Everyone always joked about if there was something wrong with him, he just never seemed interested in dating. He left young for the Army. Lee knew it was his only way to escape the wrath of Jonno Highway. Callum had tried so hard to please that man, but it would never happen. Watching Callum kiss Ben Lee decided it could wait. He couldn’t be the reason Callum lost this. Lee didn’t miss the looks. He wanted to laugh it was quite comical in a sense. He didn’t know if they were shocked by the public display of affection or at how soft and gentle Ben Mitchell was being. Lee followed Callum when he went over to get their second round.

“I’m sorry, you know for this morning,” Lee whispered his eyes going to Ben who was now chatting with Jay. Jay kept looking over to Callum like he was trying to explain, but Ben just rolled his eyes.

“I won’t say I wasn’t taken back, but we talked,” Callum told him gently, looking over at Ben who was being tickled by Lola. 

“What did Jay do to get that look from you just a moment ago,” Lee asked seriously, giving his own look.

“He’s just being a little protective,” Callum sighed rubbing his eye turning to look at Lee. “Not only of Ben.”

“He probably just doesn’t want to see you rush into something you’re not ready for,” Lee guessed looking at Jay who looked nervous, didn’t miss Lola pushing him towards their way. “Or Ben getting hurt again, after years of closing himself off.”

“It was dinner,” Callum told him laughing when Lee rolled his eyes. “Fine he slept over.”

“Just slept,” Lee repeated poking at his marks on his neck, that had Callum smacking his hand away.

“That’s not from last night,” Callum snipped then groaned before turning bright red when he realized that Linda heard. She smirked at him while pushing his two pints towards him. “I hate you. You can go away now.”

“Last night, this morning, an hour ago it doesn’t matter Halfway. What matters is that you are finally happy,” Lee told him without hesitation. “I have never seen you this open and honest. No one has the right to tell you what you feel is invalid. Same goes for him, at the end of the day it’s between you and Ben.” 

“Look who got all wise in his old age,” Callum joked giggling as Lee started to punch at his side.

“None of that you two,” Linda yelled in a voice that had them laughing, Whitney just shaking her head. “I mean it, you break one thing and you’ll be working it off over Christmas.”

Ben watched as they nodded then laughed the moment she was gone. It was like he was seeing a whole new side of Callum that he never dreamed would exist. He knew that he and Lee had been childhood mates, he knew they were still close but this. Ben laughed when he heard Whitney tell someone she doesn’t envy Ben for having to deal with this. Mick patted him on the back with a knowing look, Ben began to wonder how bad could they get? Truthfully, he didn’t care. He’d take them being a little rowdy over the destruction his families caused out of pain. 

Speaking of family. Ben kicked Jay leg nodding towards Callum who still hasn’t brought over his pint. Jay gave him a look, Ben looked at Lola who nodded pushing Jay out of his chair towards Callum. Lola liked Callum, like she really liked Callum. She had spent all of last night putting Jay in his place for his out of place and horrible so-called joke. He walked towards Callum, noticed that Lee must have noticed because he grabbed Ben’s pint. Jay did not miss the look that crossed the visiting soldiers face as they passed. 

Ben accepted the pint, as everyone watched them go outside. Lola groaned, but stopped her. This was between Jay and Callum, and as much as he wanted to interfere, he needed to let them sort this. Besides Jay being his brother, he was also Callum’s boss. They had to see each other every day. Ben needed to let them sort this, or he knew it would just keep festering until one of them blew. When you looked at them you didn’t think much, but Ben knew they both were stronger and deadlier than their appearance let on. 

“Everything good,” Ben asked looking over to Jay who was giving Lola a kiss.

“All sorted,” Callum smiled leaning down to kiss Ben quickly before moving to sit next to Lee.

So far the night had been better than Ben had expected it to be, he honestly assumed he’d have to beg Callum to leave or begin a fight so Callum would make him. He even looked up sorry gift ideas. Yet nothing horrible has happened. It was your average night out in Walford. Mick got their next round, then Lee after that, so Ben thought it polite to buy them both their next one. Phil came in later with Sharon. He and Jay watched as Callum gave Phil a polite nod as they passed him and shockingly Phil gave one in return.

He chatted a bit with Lee, defending him as Lee made fun of the way he threw his punches. That got him attacked in the most pleasant way twenty minutes later. Callum lifted him up pressing him against the door, swallowing his cries of protest not that he many. If he thought they had more than just a few minutes before Jay or Mick came looking for them, he would have pressed against Callum. Would have let Callum hands finish undoing his jeans but they didn’t, he knew they didn’t. But Callum’s hands were insistent, his mouth was a combination of hungry, demanding, and hard, and his teeth seem to know right where to nip.

Callum tasted like heaven. Wrapping his arms around him Ben let himself enjoy this for the few moments they had it. Letting Callum’s cool hands come in contact with warm skin as he held Ben in place, while teeth graze sensitive skin before sinking in. Ben wanted to claw at his shirt, wanted to pull him inside anywhere and lock the door so he could drop to his knees. But they couldn’t, well they could but no they couldn’t. Ben knew someone would catch them, that wouldn’t be good. But then Callum’s mouth was on his again. 

Before Ben knew what was happening they were in a stall, the door coming shut with a light bang. Ben went to open his mouth to argue, to tell him they couldn't do this not here. But he lost the word as Callum sank on to his knee and he pulled Ben's pants down. Ben's head fell back against the door, instead of telling Callum no, the words "god yes" came out of his mouth. He wanted to run his fingers through his hair, but it had gel in it and then people would know what they had been doing. 

Callum moaned as he took Ben into his mouth, he really loved the taste of Ben. He was salty sweet with a punch of spice and musk, Callum had a feeling he found his favorite new thing to do. Ben moaned softly as Callum's fingers pressed into a bruise Callum made earlier. Callum couldn't take all of him yet, but his tongue made up for it. Closing his eyes and biting down on his hand, he looked down at Callum. He looked like very fantasy Ben had ever conjured up late at night in his room. His lips red and puffy, his eyes darken, and his face flushed as he bobbed his head. Soon he was coming down Callum's throat as he continuted to bite down on his hand. Then standing up, licking his lower lips Callum titled his head to the side, "your phone is going off."

“Where did Callum run off to,” Lee asked looking around, Jay shrugged until he laughed as Callum smacked Lee on his back. “I hate it when you do that,” Lee shrieked trying to recover himself as Jay and Callum were still laughing.

“You and Ben disappeared around the same time,” Jay observed looking him up and down trying to see if anything was out of place, or if a blush appeared.

“Ben is outside talking to Lexi,” Callum explained softly as he sat down next to Lee who was shaking his head.

“Honestly,” Lee laughed, mocking a scandalize looked. “Halfway here wouldn’t partake in such a tactless display.”

Lee remembering the time they caught a mate of his with some girl he had picked up. Lee found it amusing, but Callum hadn’t been able to look either of them in the eyes for weeks. Callum was a man of heart, whenever he did something it had to mean something. Ben came back, Callum welcomed his kiss as Lee went on about something or another. Lola started in on how soft Ben was when it came to their daughter. No one missed his blush or how he didn’t deny it. 

Callum had brushed whatever Lee had said off, but Jay knew something was wrong. Lee did too because as Callum went to get another drink Lee followed him. Callum brushed him off, told him he was fine it wasn’t about him, but Lee didn’t believe that. Lee tried to think what he had said, what he had done to change the mood. He couldn’t, he just knew at random parts of the night Callum would look sad and broken. Then just as quickly the look faded away to his normal goofy grin. Lee wondered if maybe memories of his past were coming back. Soon Mick was around them, jokes were being made everyone was laughing, well everyone but Callum. 

Ben knew something was wrong, he didn’t know what they said but he knew someone had said something to Callum because he was off. Not even an hour ago Ben was pinned against a wall at Callum’s mercy, so close to just giving into the damn of his mouth and hands. Then Lexi had called. Callum had let him go instantly, walked off as Ben took his conversation outside. When Ben returned, he expected to find a happy flirty Callum Highway, instead he found a quiet one. Callum was hiding behind his goofy grin 

“I’ve never seen Halfway so relaxed,” Lee sighed coming to stand next to Ben, Ben who gave him a stare.

“You know he hates that name right,” Ben replied looking over at Callum while he helped Linda. 

“You know he isn’t good at expressing himself,” Lee countered just as stern.

“So what’s this,” Ben asked turning to face Lee, giving him his classic smirk. “A game of who knows Callum better.”

“I’d win,” Lee snipped not missing the way Ben laughed, it wasn’t a real laugh, but one meant to intimidate. “This is me worried about someone I love, someone who doesn’t deserve to be hurt.”

“I don’t plan to hurt him,” Ben replied his voice low Lee didn’t move he refused to show any fear.

“I know,” Lee told him wanting to laugh at the way Ben looked confused. “Callum has habit of not telling people when he’s bothered, or when they cross a line. He’ll do what he thinks they want like his own feelings and preferences aren’t a factor.” Lee saw Ben’s face put his hand up to stop Ben. “I’m not accusing you, I meant what I said. This is the most relaxed and happiest I have ever seen him, just…just watch out for him.”

Ben just gave him a nod, he wanted to say something back wanted to fight but he didn’t have it in him. Not with the fear he saw in Lee’s eyes. It wasn’t the fear that he saw in the eyes of his daughter when she came to him in the middle of the night. He had to look under her bed, look in her closet, the tuck her in while telling her a story. It wasn’t the fear he saw in other people’s eyes during a job. No, this fear was different, this fear punched Ben in the gut. It was the fear that he knew too well, the fear he felt when his feelings began to go deep. This was the fear you get when you know you could lose someone. 

Lee patted him on the back, went over to Callum. He watched the two old mates laugh some more, as soon they were roughing around before Linda came over smacking them both. Then laughing herself as they moved about. Her hand waving around as asked them to do something since Mick was handling a customer. Ben gave a nod to his father who was deep in his own conversation, but their eyes locked. His expression was softer than Ben had remembered seeing it in a long while. Jay and Lola said their goodbye, as they headed out to spend some quality time together. His mum had Lexi all night, while Ian and Bobby went on a weekend holiday to bond. Ben took Callum’s hand motioned for them to leave as well. Callum smiled softly then went off to say his own goodbyes. 

The walk to the flat was quiet, Callum’s mind all over the place. He felt so accepted, it was a feeling he never thought he’d feel. They got some looks, but Whitney maybe had it right. It was probably more that he was with a Mitchell then it being he was with a man. Sure, the Mitchell Family was, well Callum didn’t know what to think of them. When he thought he had one of them figured out they’d do something that would throw you for a loop. But Ben was more than anyone gave him credit for. He liked how he felt when he was with Ben. Ben was the only person who saw him as Callum, nothing more nothing less just Callum, and he liked that. 

XOXO

This was beyond ridiculous, Ben looked down at himself and groaned. Callum was finishing getting ready but he could not believe he was doing this. Somehow someway Lola and Callum had joined forces and became mates. Like not just being nice because it’s my bosses’ girlfriend or better being polite because your dating my daughter’s dad type either. No Callum and Lola were chatting on the phone, texting, and because of some lunch “date” he was standing in front of a mirror dressed in a nice suit. 

Lola wanted to do something fun for Jay’s birthday, Ben of course was not being any help. So Callum offered to help her decide on something to do. Ben recalled rolling his eyes, but he did want them to get along. Plus, Callum hadn’t formed many friendships. Jay figured it would be good, Jay was an idiot. Then Lola took Callum out for lunch, then a few days later she did it again then both leaving and coming back in giggle fits. Next thing Ben and Jay knew they were being told to wear something nice. Lola stern glare as she told Jay his work suits didn’t count. They both had shrugged thinking maybe a little dinner, a few drinks at E20, and at worse maybe a surprise or two. 

Nope! 

“Isn’t this nice,” Lola grinned as Jay held out her chair.

“Apparently the pasta dishes here are incredible,” Callum told her, Jay smiled as she grinned wider.

“Where did you hear about this place from,” Ben asked looking around, there were a few groups but mostly couples.

“Ian,” Callum told him watching Ben blink at him for a moment.

“Ian, as in my brother Ian,” Ben stuttered ignoring Jay chuckle as Callum nodded, soon the waiter was over beginning their meal. The waiter went over specials, took their drink and first course order allowing them time to look over the full menu. “When did you and Ian talk about restaurants.”

“When Callum came over for the dinner you invited him to but were two hours late for with no actual excuse as to why,” Lola countered giving him a pointed glare. “I called the next day and as luck would have it, they just had a cancelation.”

Jay soon changed the subject, but everyone knew that Lola wanted to know why he was late. Callum didn’t. Ben walked in late to Callum on the floor playing with Lexi. He didn’t know what they were playing, but eh found out that it was a game they made up. It had done his heart in to see Callum with Lexi. The moment Lexi saw him she giggled running to him, spent ten minutes going on and on about Callum seeing Paris. Then Lola walked into the room, and the good vibe went away.

Callum told Lola he didn’t need to know what happened, but Ben could hear his voice crack. Lola had cornered him that night, and he had wished that he had stayed at Phil’s just a little longer. Jay finally got her to stop, then he took her out for a few drinks. After he brought her back, Jay snapped at Ben exclaiming that his being late better be work related. Callum hadn’t mentioned it once, he had never even seen him look sad until this very moment. Callum tried to regain his smile but Ben could see his pain. 

The hurt also probably came from the fact that he hadn’t let Callum touch him in days scared he’d see the bruises of the aftermath of why he was late that night. Ben wished he could be different, wished he could live a life that was safe and what Callum deserved. But he was Ben Mitchell. Callum excused himself shortly after the drinks were delivered. Lola giving him a disbelieving look as Callum could barely say the words. Ben held his hand up to go after him. He had expected to ruin the night but this wasn't how he thought he would do it.

“I got jumped,” Ben told him as Callum opened the door and saw Ben standing by the sinks waiting for him. “I upset someone I shouldn’t have…I had to go to my dad’s to clean up. My back and ribs don’t look so good.”

“Is that why…,” Callum started thinking of how Ben freaked out when Callum hinted at them showering together.

“I didn’t want you to worry,” Ben explained cutting him off watching Callum go from relief to annoyed back to relief back to annoyed all within seconds.

“Well my boyfriend suddenly not wanting to touch me kind of did that,” Callum grumbled with a pout, Ben gave him a nod trying not to smile. “Is that why you were against this double date? Are you hurting?”

“Calm down,” Ben told him cupping Callum’s face in his hands. “I wasn’t against it, I was more…you and Lola have gone out to lunch the past three days.”

“You were jealous of Lola,” Callum laughed then surging forward as he pulled Ben against him. Ben had missed kissing him, had missed his large rough hands on his skin. Had missed how easy a gently press of lips went frantic and hungry the moment they tasted each other.

“Oiy!,” Jay yelled opening the door seeing Ben pressed up against Callum. “Here Lola was afraid she caused a breakup, get to the table now.”

“I need to wash my hands,” Callum mumbled turning bright red.

“I do not want any details,” Jay told them closing his eyes, then opening them to look at Ben. “You to the table now.”

The rest of the evening went off without a hitch. Ian had been correct, and neither Ben or Jay wanted to admit this had been a good idea. After their dinner which to everyone’s shock Ben paid for, they headed out for a walk. It was rare they got away from the Square. Lola smiled when Ben accepted Callum’s hand, few knew but he got anxious when displaying affections with his dates. It was a terrifying fear of his that someone would say something again, and like before he’d run his mouth. 

Stopping into a little bakery, Lola refused to leave until Jay picked a sweet for his birthday. The older man behind the counter just kept looking at him knowingly, Callum picked up some cookies for Lexi. Ben laughing about how he spoils her. Lola told him to hush it was sweet, then smirked when Callum handed her a cookie. The older guy laughing lightly recommended a place a few blocks down if they were looking for a quieter venue for a drink. Soon they were off, Lola and Callum taking in the fall scenery around them. 

The bar was perfect. There was a nice table in the corner that fit them perfectly, the middle-aged waitress gushed when Lola said they were out celebrating Jay’s 24th birthday. She came back soon with their drinks. They stayed for a couple more just talking. Ben would admit it was nice to be out without everyone who knew who he was, just watching his every move. He knew it got to Callum. They’d only been dating a couple weeks, but everyone had an opinion. They walked some more until the chill started to get to Lola. 

“Tonight wasn’t so horrible,” Callum grinned as they took a sit, Ben smiling as Whitney pushed over two pints.

“Did you two finally have your official first date,” Whitney asked, she had been trying despite how it still stung but she didn’t want to lose Callum. 

“Our first date was a double with Jay and Lola,” Ben groaned crinkling his face in a way Callum laughed then bent forward kissing him. Whitney couldn’t help grinning as she walked away, it was hard not to. 

“We’ve gone out before tonight,” Callum assured him loving how Ben’s lips always searched his out after a kiss ended.

“I guess I always see that first night in my head,” Ben admitted gently, watching Callum smile softly. 

“Online gaming and pizza make for a memorable first date,” Callum laughed neither of them paying attention to the people watching them. 

Linda smiled as she saw them, in the middle of the bar with dozens of eyes on them but feeling like they were alone in the room. Looking at them sometimes gave her heart a flutter because it was honest. She knew people had their assumptions about how long this would last. Mainly because Ben Mitchell was, well he was Ben Mitchell. She’d seen him in here more than once start a night off with one bloke and end it with another. He was unapologetic gay, and he let you know that. But the way he looked at Callum made her feel all warm inside.

It wasn’t just how Ben looked at him either, it was everything. It was the way he held his hand, the way he let him lead or whispered asking if he was okay. Ben was romantic in a way that Linda had never imagined someone like a Mitchell being. Watching Ben laugh at something Callum said made her smile even more. Customers were now moving around yet they didn’t move. She sometimes missed that. Missed when you were so into the person you were with the entire world faded. 

Mick shook his head he was so proud of his Halfway. Sometimes he felt like he was his own son, like every time he did something great it was a reflection on him just like with Lee and Johnny. Both Johnny and Callum had hard roads, people not being very accepting. Somehow Ben Mitchell was at the center of both. Mick knew Johnny’s feeling for Ben were different, they were mates. Mick watched Ben lean up, watched Callum laughed as he gave him a quick dramatic kiss before they started to laugh. The scene before him was so light, so carefree, that it made him happier than he could imagine. That Callum could be like this with someone. He wasn’t guarded or reserved, wasn’t watching around double guessing himself he was just--Callum. 

TBC


	4. Callum's Bad Day...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum's isn't having a good day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy everyone is liking this story, your feedback has really helped keep me going. As I said it started out as a challenge and grew into something completely different. I am also really happy Ben and Callum on screen are just as domestic lol
> 
> Like I said Callum's backstory in this will probably be way different than canon. For those of you who asked, yes Lee will be back in this story.
> 
> Thank You Jacey!

**Love Hopeful: Callum's Bad Day...**

Callum was not having a good day, he didn’t know why but he was just not having a good day. Well to be honest it had been slowly building, gnawing its way out of him. It had started before Lee arrived, maybe even before his failure of a wedding. He just couldn’t seem to get a grip with the way he was seen by everyone. It had only gotten worse after he came out. It was bad enough that people thought he was a dork before, but now he was gay. Sometimes he wondered if people knew what that did to the individual they were casting judgment on. 

He knew people meant well, but it hurt. It stung that people looked at him like he was some giant oaf. Everyone did it. Back in his Army days the people he served with did it. Chris would go on and on about how kind he was, how sweet, how he didn’t belong in the Army. He did the same work as everyone else, he gone through the same training, but he was always cast aside with a laugh. He just wanted people to see him, and not his appearance. He wanted Ben to see that he was more. Maybe that was the part that hurt the most, Ben didn’t see him as an equal. 

Ben dropped what he was doing the moment the news got to him, he just took off running before Ian ever finished his sentence. This wasn’t happening, this couldn’t happen again, he wouldn’t survive this time. It was like everyone knew what was happening, the moment they saw him they moved out of the way. People who hated him even stepped aside like they knew. They knew if they tried to stay where they were Ben would run them down without even giving it a second thought. 

He saw the crowd outside the Vic, and felt his stomach dropped. Ben was going to be sick he couldn’t do this. Stuart looked at him smirking, then walked off. What the hell? Walking towards the building his heart was running a million miles a moment, he his hands were shaking, and he could not breathe. Each attempt to breathe hurt. He couldn’t lose someone he cared for in such a violent way, not again. He let out a deep breath unable to stop the tears as he heard Callum voice. Callum’s angry voice, then his father’s voice, who from what he can tell was agreeing with Callum. This could not be good. 

He finished walking inside to see Mick. Mick who looked pale, Linda who looked as upset as he felt, and Whitney who was screaming on and on about something. There was a broken chair on the ground, broken glass in the area where Ben assumed the fight was. Ben could smell the ale and whiskey from here, they must have been in the glasses. A he walked closer he could see blood, not a lot of it but he knew what blood spots looked like. Looking up Callum looked, well irritated. His knuckles were open and bleeding, Whitney was giving him a towel, his face was banged up and his eye swollen, and he looked a million miles away. What in the hell had happened here?

“What happened,” Ben yelled running towards Callum who was being nursed by Whitney and Linda, he watched as he kept trying to push them away.

“That’s a real good question,” Whitney snapped glaring at Callum who shoved her away with a huff once again.

“Callum I want an answer,” Ben demanded not missing the sharp look Callum threw him. “I was talking to my mum about dinner when Ian burst in yelling about you starting a fight with my dad.”

“Don’t worry son, his fight wasn’t with me,” Phil laughed patting Callum on the back like a proud father. Ben couldn’t hide his look of utter shock or miss Mick’s look of pure horror.

“Some drunk idiot swung at Phil while his back was turned so I stopped him,” Callum explained his voice strained, everyone watched Ben relax. “Then he swung at me….”

“And then you hit him back…repeatedly,” Whitney hissed hands on her hips, Ben looked around. Did Callum really do all this? 

“Out of reflex Whitney,” Callum yelled at her pushing her away as she tried again to clean his cut on his face.

“Your reflexes broke him in half,” Linda yelled smacking him across the head, then frowning as he bite back a hiss throwing a look at her.

“You could have been seriously injured,” Mick told him gently trying to calm Linda and Whitney down. Mick knew emotions were high, and Callum was riding a wave of adrenaline right now. 

“I’m not helpless,” Callum snapped standing up pushing Whitney away again as she tried to get him to sit back down. “I was in the Army, something everyone seem to forget.”

“Halfway,” Mick tried softly everyone watching in shock as Callum shoved past everyone tossing a chair out of the way as he stormed towards his flat. Phil grabbed Ben to stop him from following.

“Give him a minute,” Phil told his son then looked at everyone else waiting for them to nod.

Ben watched Callum storm out of the Vic, he had never seen him like this. Ben had thought he had seen Callum mad before, but this was something else. Ben didn’t know what Phil said but suddenly Mick snapped at him to stay out of this it was a family matter. Ben head started spinning, he heard a few gasps when Phil said once again this time in his low voice that Callum was his family, so it was his business. Ben led his dad away from Mick who gave him a nod of thanks, Linda gave him a small smile. Ben had no idea what was happening, he only knew he had never been more confused in his life. 

Sure, Callum flung him against a wall, he had even punched him, but the sheer adulterated fury he saw in him right now was new and a bit unsettling. It was like nothing he had ever seen radiate off his sweet goofy Callum before. This was more than anger this was pure rage, something you just wouldn’t associate with Callum Highway. Ben watched as he stormed towards his flat, ignoring his father Ben followed. He needed to understand what was happening. Something told him it wasn’t about the fight itself. He had started to calm down until Mick and Linda started in on him, and Whitney went all mother hen on him. 

As Ben stepped inside the flat, he heard things being thrown around, nothing breaking but he was without a doubt still high off the fight. Callum stopped when he saw Ben walk in. Callum then stalked towards the bathroom, he had been looking for the first aid kit. Going through everything he could, he could not find the kit. He knew he had one, he recalled using it not that long ago. Ben watched from the doorway as he saw his anger start to deflate. He walked to the fridge got an ice pack with a deep sigh waling back into the bathroom going straight to where the kit was. Callum glared at him, Ben rolled his eyes. He’d probably laugh if the situation wasn’t so intense. 

Ben motioned for Callum to sit down while he pressed the ice pack to his swollen face. Ben started by cleaning up the small cuts, wiping away the blood on his face. Ben said nothing, out of experience he knew Callum needed more time to cool down before he could speak. Callum’s brain right now was firing on adrenaline and raw emotions, he wouldn’t be able to fully comprehend anything Ben would try to say to him. Taking Callum’s hand, he ran them under warm water cleaning away the dirt and blood, Callum made no sounds. That part got to him more than the wounds itself. Whoever this guy was Callum hit him more than just a couple times. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Callum mumbled his voice expressing the shame he felt, Ben just nodded. 

“Want to explain the tantrum,” Ben asked placing the ice pack now on the swollen area of his hand. Callum just looked away. “Callum, something happened in there and it wasn’t about the fight…talk to me please.”

“None of you think I can handle myself,” Callum replied harsh, Ben knew he needed to stay passive, but it was going to be hard. He’d admit he was protective, but it wasn’t because he didn’t think Callum couldn’t handle himself. “Not Mick or Lee, not Chris…poor little Halfway always in need of saving.”

“They were just worried about you,” Ben replied cupping his face to make him look at him. He needed Callum to understand, he needed him to know just how terrified he was today. “They care about you like you were their own, they don’t want to lose you especially not for the likes of Phil Mitchell.”

“Not even Phil Mitchell deserves to be hit with their back turned,” Callum snapped pushing past Ben to the bedroom smashing the ice pack again the wall.

Ben dropped his head groaning this conversation wasn’t going where he needed it to. He wanted Callum to understand what it felt like today hearing from Ian that he had been in a fight. How his heart had stopped, his hands still wouldn’t stop shaking, and he kept looking around for that guy. He needed Callum to understand that this, that today was his worst fear. That being with him, that knowing him, and his family had put him in danger. That if he had not given into his feeling, that Callum would be safe and alive. 

Instead Callum was getting angry again, and Ben could not fathom as to why. He knew Callum’s mood had been down the past few days. He had been tense. Ben knew something was happening but Callum kept telling him he was fine. He had been spending time with Lola; even had a lunch date with her and Lexi over the weekend. He figured it was just him being overwhelmed by his pushy intrusive family. Now his mother was demanding a family dinner. Ian of course making a big deal about why. They were just going on a month together, why make a big deal over a dinner. Lola and Kathy of course disagreed, so he went over there today to help her plan. Lexi obviously already gave her ideas, because she believed they needed a theme. 

“Phil was stopping that guy from grabbing Linda when she cut him off,” Callum explained to Ben, as he walked in the bedroom. “Phil turned around after Linda walked off probably to get Mick, the guy took a bottle to probably smash over Phil’s head and I reacted.”

“I don’t care about the fight,” Ben grumbled letting out a huff when Callum gave him a disbelieving look. “Okay I do, it scared me thinking I could lose you. I don’t want to lose you Callum. I just want to know why Mick and Linda being worried about you caused you to be so irate.”

“If Phil and I had reversed roles no one would be treating him like he’s made of glass,” Callum yelled falling on the bed. “He was the only one who didn’t rush over start pawing at me like I’m a child. I’m not a weakling Ben, I can fight my own damn battles.”

Ben realized in that moment what this was about, and he knew he was part of the cause maybe the tipping point. Callum was gentle, he was kind-hearted, he had this way of making everyone feel special when they were around him. It was like some sort of special power he had. Whenever he was around Lexi, she beamed the entire time. She loved being on his shoulders, she felt like she was touching the sky. Ben didn’t know how to do what he did. How to make everyone feel like their ideas were important, but Callum did. 

His father even liked Callum, after today he was pretty sure Phil would be placing his photo up on the family wall. Keanu up to this point had been in Phil’s favor but now he was absolutely getting replaced. It kind of weirded Ben out thinking that Phil Mitchell liked his boyfriend. He tolerated Paul towards the end there and was even supportive when he died. But he never accepted Paul. Even now there’s this tone in voice when Phil says Paul’s name. The idea that his dad not only liked but approved of Callum, called him family—twice—in public! Sent weird vibes throughout Ben’s body he was not prepared for.

Ben walked away knowing that Callum just needed to be alone. He was still amped up from the fight, his mind wasn’t processing information like it normally did. Ben also knew part of this was about Lee. Lee who talked about a few of his fights when he was back getting laughs out of Mick, eye rolls out of Linda. When Ben asked about Callum, well maybe he shouldn’t have. Linda laughed said no way did her Halfway get into fights. Ben recalled now how Callum’s face dropped for a moment as they went on for a bit about it. It passed as quickly as it started but now Ben knew, those statement hurt his feelings. Everyone did have this imagine of him. The idea of Callum fighting, just wasn’t part of it.

Ben didn’t help one bit. Callum had asked about bottoming a couple days ago. Ben admitted not so long ago that Callum was one of the few he bottomed for. Ben normally tops. For him it was a lot more intimate than he wanted to be with most of his hookups. Being on the bottom was a matter of trust, and Ben didn’t trust easily. When he bottomed he felt open and vulnerable, and honestly that wasn’t something he liked all that much. There had been a few occasions where he needed it. Generally though, people assumed he was a top and he stuck to it, he liked it well enough.

Ben wasn’t against topping for Callum, he just didn’t want Callum to think he had to. Ben had met a few people who assumed if you hadn’t bottomed you couldn’t call yourself gay. It was horrible and frustrating, and he didn’t want Callum to believe that. That if he wasn’t comfortable with it, they didn’t have to do it. Callum had brought it up though, and Ben had frozen. He made some joke about Callum not being able to handle all of him. Callum didn’t hide his hurt, when Ben tried Callum refused to talk about anymore. Ben was truly an idiot.

“Mick,” Ben greeted moving out of the way to let him into the flat.

“How is he doing,” Mick asked gently Ben could see he was just as confused. The whole fight seemed so out of character for Callum, but Ben knew it was just from emotions and feelings that had been festering.

“I’m fine,” Callum told him coming from the bedroom, Callum’s face was hard. Mick looked at Ben. 

“I’m going to go see my mum she’s sent me like five text thanks to Ian,” Ben sighed waving his phone that everyone knew he hadn’t really looked at. He leaned over to kiss Callum, but Callum moved out of the way going towards the kitchen. Ben obviously had not hidden how much that hurt fast enough because Mick patted him on the back gently. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

Ben walked out the door feeling his heart hurt, because he had not expected that. He knew something was going on with Callum but in those last few seconds he looked so cold. Ben didn’t mean to make him feel bad or that his feelings and desires were invalid. Ben leaned against the door not knowing what was going on, his was all over the place. He could hear Callum’s voice getting louder, then dead silent as Mick used what could only be described as a dad voice. He thought he heard Callum mumble something, but he couldn’t make it out from the hallway. 

This was out of his league of experience. He and Paul never went through this, but then they’d both had experience with past relationships. Nether one of them were just coming out of the closet and into their first real relationship. Callum was new to all this. Not only to the being an out gay man, but to being in a physically intimate relationship. His only past relationships were Whitney and of course his “crush” on fellow Army mate Chris. Ben had told him they could talk openly. Not only as boyfriends, but as mates. Callum should have someone he could talk to. He’s going to have questions and need advice. While he and Lola were getting close, she wasn’t a gay man. Ben had to reminder her of that as she felt she knew more than he did most of the time. 

The main point was Ben told Callum he could always come to him. What did he do? He cracks a stupid joke the first time Callum questions got serious. Making the small insecurities he was naturally going to have, grow and eat at him until he snapped. Ben was proving without a doubt he was not good at this, he was a bad boyfriend. Walking outside he welcomed the cool air, he needed to get his thoughts under control just as Callum needed to get his emotions under control. First, he was going to handle his mother who was texting him, and then he was going to deal with Ian. After maybe check in on Linda, he knew once Callum came down he’d be worried about her.

“How is Callum,” Whitney asked the moment she saw Ben.

“Angry,” Ben told her, then looked at Linda and Mick. “He lashed out today because he feels out of control, like no one respects him.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Linda hissed looking around thankfully only two chairs and a handful of glasses were broken but soon she noticed Mick’s look. “Mick?”

“The jokes Lee and I made about Callum fighting worse than a girl,” Mick told her sitting down rubbing his eyes, his conversation with Callum had opened his eyes. “All the gay jokes, the way you and Whitney coddled him.”

“Halfway isn’t a fighter,” Linda argued, but it was more like she was trying to hold onto a memory. “How many times did Lee have to save him from one bully or another?”

“He didn’t look like he needed saving today,” Tina snipped walking pass them.

“Callum agreed to pay for the damages,” Mick told Linda who gave him a look. That wasn’t the problem. “He’s also going to come over for dinner tomorrow so we all can have a real conversation. We were just assuming he’d be like Johnny, but Callum isn’t Johnny. He needs to know he can count on us.”

“I’ll make shepherd’s pie,” Linda sighed looking around, soon Mick was walking away feeling a bit better. Ben had started to walk out when Linda grabbed his hand. “I need to speak with you.” 

Ben wanted to say no, he needed to get back to Callum. Ben needed to talk to him but something in her voice something in her eyes made him nod. She looked around leading him away from everyone else. Ben could hear Whitney and Mick, she was scared. The Callum of today was not one she had ever seen before. To her Callum was this giant loveable man who would never hurt anyone or anything. He wondered if she knew about any of his Army deeds. Ben only knew bits and pieces of his days in the Army, but it was enough to know that Callum had layers. Some of those layers were dark. 

Linda needed to talk to Ben, this was killing her knowing what she knew. Lee had confided in her, and she swore that she wouldn’t tell anyone. But the thing was, she didn’t know anything. Callum had been so raw today, it reminded Linda of when he was a small baby. She’d rock him for hours when she would babysit him, his little hand in hers. He would just cling to her. Callum just had this way of working his way into your heart. She wanted to hate him, anything related to Stuart or Jonno Highway couldn’t be good, but he was. 

Callum was pure and innocent, each time she had to send him back home it broke her heart. She wanted to hold on to him forever, protect him from the evils of his family and the world. The day Elenore left she was grateful. Mick always defended her. Would go on about how she had been a teenage mother in a time when you just weren’t. How she did her best after being forced to get married, and then raise Stuart with a man like Jonno for a husband. Mick saw her as this damsel in distress, always in need of saving. Linda saw her for what she was, and she thanked whoever above Callum learned it too. Elenore Highway was a con artist, in most ways she was worse than her husband.

Callum was strong both mentally and physically, Ben knew this, he had no doubt despite what was in Callum’s head right now. Callum has held him up against more than one wall for long periods of time, left handprints and bruises on his hips, thighs, and other arears. Callum gave off such an innocent aura that people never dreamed there could be something dark hiding inside of him. Ben was sure with Whitney it never came out he had no doubt she had been in total charge. Not because she needed to be but because Callum let her be. Callum had admitted to him how sex was usually the last thing on his mind, towards the end he tried to get out of it. Which honestly blew his mind since Ben was pretty sure he had more sex with Callum in the last few weeks then in all of 2019 combined. 

Linda was nervous, she didn’t want to break Lee’s trust, but she also knew in the end waiting wasn’t an option. Ben cared for Callum, maybe more than he was willing to admit. Today she was sure that those feeling were heading straight to love. Loving someone was scary. Ben had lost his first love in such a violent way, that his heart still wasn’t mended. She’d heard Ben had taken Callum on a nice candle lit dinner, they’d gone for long walks, spent hours at the bar just talking. Ben had sent flowers, Callum had picked up Lexi when he was running late. Their relationship was blossoming into something everyone craved. Not just a boyfriend or a husband but into having a life partner. 

“What’s going on Linda,” Ben inquired looking around feeling a sour emptiness in his stomach. She looked terrified. 

“Does he ever talk about his mother,” Linda asked gently turning away from him rubbing her hands together nervously. Then back up to see the pure uncertainty across his face. “I didn’t think he would. Elenore left when he younger, he blamed himself for a long time.”  
“What does his mum have to do with any of this,” Ben asked trying to remain calm, but he was annoyed and confused.

“Everything,” Linda told him, her voice showing her displeasure and hate, Ben was taken back. He’d rarely seen that brand of loathing in someone’s eyes. 

“What does that mean,” Ben grumbled but it didn’t have any heat to it. Ben wanted to throw up, he didn’t know why but he did. 

“Elenore found Lee,” Linda told Ben, inhaling deeply then letting it out. “Wrote him a letter asking for information on Callum, she claims she hasn’t heard from in years and is scared.”

“You don’t believe that,” Ben guessed watching Linda nod. Elenore was a trickster, if she was hunting down Callum there was a reason “That’s why Lee came to see him?”

“Lee wanted to tell him, but Callum was just so happy,” Linda explained, Lee didn’t want to destroy that. Now here she was doing it, but she knew Elenore. She was up to something, and the more they let it stew the worse the ending chaos would be. “Lee won’t tell me what’s in the letter, but it’s bad Ben? He doesn’t know what to do?”

XOXO

The moment Mick was gone Callum ripped his clothing off feeling constricted. Tossing items around he settled on a pair of worn joggers and a shirt he thought he’d lost years ago. He knew Ben was bringing back food, as that had been their plan originally before this mess happened. That helped a little knowing he didn’t have to worry about dinner since he knew his fridge was running low. Grabbing a beer, he went to begin his game, maybe a few missions would clear his head. Right now everything in his head was jumbled, he couldn’t even grasp what he was feeling. He couldn’t get a grasp on anything; it was like he was falling and there was no stopping.

Callum knew Mick and Ben were both trying to help, that they were worried about how he reacted today. He wasn’t a violent person, so the idea of him fighting was hard to grasp by itself. But the fact that he had fought in such a vicious bloody manner had them uneasy. Their uneasiness unfortunately was causing them to treat him like he was a child. It didn’t help that Mick had come in here in father mode, Callum felt like a teenager again. Mick’s eyes stern forcing him to sit and listen, making him feel like he had to apologize. 

Ben had seen his rougher side, hell he’d been the cause of it peeking through on more than one occasion. Callum won’t lie it sometimes felt satisfying to get it out, to free himself of all those dark negative emotions. In the Army he had that outlet, but here it sort of faded away. As one mission ended, he began a second his emotions starting to come down. The falling feeling was fading, he was feeling grounded again, but with that came the shame. It didn’t help that he was now starting to feel low. He felt like a jerk not giving Ben the kiss he went for. Callum didn’t know what was going on with him today, he just felt lost. 

Callum had been fine until Lee made those stupid jokes, which was silly. He knew Lee didn’t see him as less of a man, Lee was his oldest mate. But it was like in those moments all his insecurities came flooding back to him. All the taunts, all the hits, all the times he got told he wasn’t good enough. He knew Lee never meant it like that. Lee was closer to being his brother than Stuart was in many ways. Callum leaned back smiling recalling the time they did some blood pact they read about in a book. Mick laughed for what seemed like forever while Linda nearly killed them for getting blood on Lee’s new sheets. Then saw Callum’s red puffy hand started in on about infections as she drug them to get them cleaned up. She about murdered them when they started laughing. Looking at his hand he could still see the outline of the scar.

Tossing his controller aside he was giving up. Callum had been thinking about it a lot, Ben being inside of him. Ben seem to enjoy it, like a lot. Callum knew his back at points had to look like a scratching post. He could always feel the sting the next day. Ben was always sorry kissing the marks in the shower as he washed his back. It all started because Jay wanted to surprise Lola with a special going away holiday this Valentine’s Day. Callum had asked how Ben was around the holiday. Callum knew he should just talk to Ben but sometimes talking to Ben made things worse. Ben heard bits and pieces, and it ended up with their conversations, that ended badly. Then Johnny called yesterday, and Callum didn’t miss the few not so hidden remarks that he knew were related to Ben. 

“Food is here,” Ben announced walking inside, seeing that Callum looked more normal. Bruised up but normal. “I was talking to Linda, why didn’t you mentioned Johnny called?”

“I’m not hungry,” Callum mumbled, Ben dropped his head as Callum quickly walked pass him slamming the bedroom door.

“Callum” Ben yelled trying not to sound angry but pretty sure he failed because there was no answer. He knocked on the door once, twice, and then a third time, still no answer. Ben took a chance opening the door slowly, taking it as a good sign when nothing was thrown at him. Given Callum certain stake he wouldn’t put anything past him. “Can I come in.” Ben waited, but now he was annoyed. “Callum!”

“I’m not hungry,” Callum snapped back, Ben sharply inhaled a very deep breath because he needed all the strength he could get right now. He was not liking childish “I’m not jealous” Callum. 

“There’s a few things we need to talk about,” Ben signed rubbing his eyes, then looking at Callum who softened up to the point he looked like he was going to cry.

“Are you breaking up with me,” Callum whispered brokenly.

“What…no,” Ben shrieked, watching Callum’s eyes go wide after blinking away the tears. He was so bad at being in a relationship it could almost be funny. Ben willed away all his frustration, all his annoyances, so his voice could come across soft and normal. “It’s about why Lee really came back. I’ll be out in the kitchen when you are ready.”

Callum looked confused, even more so when Ben left him alone in the bedroom. Today had been such a long day. Callum had been annoyed, angry, sad, broken, and gone back to angry just as fast. He was experiencing so many emotions it felt like he was on a ride. Almost like he was going faster than any vehicle he’s ever been in, but they were on one of those curvy roads so he couldn’t catch his breath. He had been involved in a high-speed chase once, which he tries not to think about. God the trouble that Sammy got them into sometimes. Shaking his head, he looked at the door, he was being an absolute brat. 

Callum’s first fear was Ben wanted to end things. He wouldn’t blame him in all honestly. Callum had been difficult the last few days, bordering just on the edge of spiteful and cruel. Falling back on the bed why hadn’t he just given him that kiss earlier. His slight annoyance and anger had morphed into something vengeful and hatful. He didn’t know where it came from, this wasn’t how he was. He just felt…groaning…he threw himself out of the bed. He could hear Lola’s voice telling him to talk more. She had been going on and on about how he couldn’t keep things bottled up, apparently once again, Lola Pearce knew best. Because today he exploded in a terrifyingly aggressive manner. 

Ben had been going out of his way for Callum since they started. He went to the Vic because he wanted to see Lee. He took him out on dates that had everyone, especially those who hated him gushing about romance not being dead. He even tried with Stuart, giving him an open invitation to dinner sometime. When Callum found that out he had been utterly speechless. Ben’s dislike for Stuart was not unfounded. The fact that Ben had invited him to have dinner with them was just overwhelming. Callum just didn’t know what was wrong with him. 

“I’m sorry,” Callum told him as he stepped out of the bedroom, smiling as he saw Ben on the couch flipping through channels. “I’ve been an absolute terror the last couple days, haven’t I?”

“Come here,” Ben smiled softly welcoming Callum falling into his arms. Despite the size different, Callum lifts his head giving Ben the kiss he wanted earlier before burying his face in Ben’s shoulder.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately,” Callum admitted softly speaking into Ben’s skin frowning as Ben slipped out of the embrace. Callum knowing he didn’t deserve to be forgiven yet, 

“A lot has happened to you in a short amount of time,” Ben started going to his knees in front of Callum who looked broken. Ben deciding to try once again in being sincere, telling himself no jokes this time. Ben moved between his legs, accepting the soft kiss Callum leaned down to give him. “Truthfully if you weren’t a little angry, I’d be worried. It’s natural.”

“He swung at me and it was like I lost myself for a moment,” Callum whispered his voice raw, and distant. Ben nodded leaning his head down to Callum’s thigh for a moment then lifting himself back up enough to kiss Callum’s busted up knuckles. Callum looked far away.

“On the plus side, I am almost certain you bumped yourself up to son status with my dad today,” Ben laughed trying to get Callum back with him, and not in his head. Ben was rewarded seconds later with one of Callum’s classic grins. “I haven’t been the best boyfriend to you.”

“Ben you’ve been great, it’s me who is failing at this,” Callum tells him before leaning forward to connect their lips gently, but Ben stops the kiss just as it starts.

“I mean it, you came to me and I totally dismissed you in a way that isn’t fair to either of us,” Ben told him seriously, watching Callum start to open his mouth but Ben stood up stopping him “No Callum, I let my insecurities overshadow being a good mate to you. So…we should talk about that.”

“Your insecurities,” Callum repeated perplexed where this conversation was going, while Ben took the seat next to him. 

Ben had been thinking about this all day, how he was going to do this. First, he would deal with the mess he made of the other night, then they would discuss Lee and the mom bombshell. He had looked it up online, found a few sites that gave some pretty good advice on how to approach the subject. A few even gave some examples of how to back track if the first conversation doesn’t go well. Ben thought he was prepared. He could do this he could guide Callum through this. That was before Callum was sitting in front of him, his blue eyes wide with confusion. He looked so trusting and innocent, that Ben didn’t know if he could do this. 

He scooted away from Callum watching his frown deepen. This was already going bad, but this would work better if they weren’t touching. Ben needed to be in control. He needed Callum to know he could be serious. He could be someone that Callum could turn to. Ben knew right now that wasn’t the case, he had ruined that. He took the trust that Callum had for him and popped it within seconds. Ben just needed a moment to catch his breath and center his thoughts, but it was hard with Callum looking so broken. Looking at him like any moment Ben was going to leave and never come back, he really did a number on Callum. 

Callum didn’t know what was going on, one moment they were talking about today and then suddenly Ben was refusing to touch him. He had this sour look on his face as he went on about being a bad boyfriend. If anyone was a bad boyfriend, it had to be him. Or neither? Callum’s only relationship was Whitney, and she pretty much called the shots. She had the experience, so it was natural he let her lead the way. Callum hadn’t wanted to disappoint her. Ben on the other hand had been with a lot of people, but his relationships were, well disasters seemed like a downplay. His only good one was Paul Coker. 

“I’ve never topped for anyone who hasn’t already bottomed,” Ben admitted softly, his words were jumbled, and his face was bright red. Callum could count on one hand how many times he’d seen Ben blush to this level.

“Oh,” Callum nodded as it all finally clicked for him. Ben’s jokes weren’t about Callum not being able to handle being a bottom. His joke had been about Ben hiding his fear of hurting Callum. “Ben, I didn’t expect us to do it right away. I just wanted you to know I am open to it.”

“You don’t have to…I mean it’s not required,” Ben tried but failed as he watched Callum’s face crinkle, he really needed to work on this. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to bottom in order to prove something. I don’t ever want you to do something because you think I want you to or that I would be disappointed.”

“Thank You,” Callum smiled giving him a nod, Ben smiled to. Ben wanted them to talk about this, wanted them to have open communications. He wanted Callum to know he could say no, he’d never hold it against him. Ben had gotten himself in situations he didn’t want Callum to encounter because he’d been intimated by his lack of experience. “But for the record I was asking for me. I do want to experience that with you, when you are ready.”

“I may need a little time,” Ben admitted looking away a little ashamed, he felt like he was letting Callum down. Ben knew it was silly, Callum understood he always did.

“We can work up to it,” Callum smirked cupping Ben’s face to look at him. Ben looked so vulnerable right now, it took Callum’s breath away.

“Look at us,” Ben signed, then grinned as he moved over to straddle Callum who looked at him like Ben was giving him the moon and stars. They both moaned softly as Ben’s body came down on his, Callum’s hand going straight to his hips slipping under Ben’s black jumper. “I’m the one all fumbles and embarrassed while you’re the one with cuts and bruises from a bar fight.”

“Full circle couple we are,” Callum laughed lifting Ben up, who moaned as their lips crushed together. 

Ben wanted to mention the food on the counter, and Lee but it sort of faded as suddenly his back hit the bed and Callum’s full body was on top of his. Ben loved this, loved how strong Callum was. Loved how his hands were large and callused, how they easily pinned him down. Ben gasped pressing his body into Callum's mouth, not remembering Callum undressing him but apparently at some point he had. 

Ben moaned as Callum took him into his mouth, he learned quick what Ben liked and what he didn't like. Sealing his lips around the rosy colored mushroom head he let his tongue play with the slip welcoming the spicy salty musk taste that was Ben Mitchell. Then going down as far as he could, he bobbed his head enjoying the pleasure pain his face injuries were creating. Ben pulled roughly at his hair. Callum lifted his head hissing as their mouths crushed together harshly. Normally Callum would welcome such a kiss, but his injury made it more pain than pleasure. "On your knees, hands on the headboard," Callum ordered watching Ben nod. He needed Ben, and Ben obviously was in a one frame of mind today. 

Callum quickly tore his clothes off grabbing the condom and lube from Ben's side of the bed. Ben head falls forward as Callum slipped one slick finger inside of him as he kissed his shoulder. "Stay where you are." Callum warned with a nip to his neck. Ben gasped, he was still only semi hard, but that was quickly changing. He loved Callum liked this, loved when he just took from Ben what he needed. There was no fumble, no hesitation, he just put Ben where he needed him. What he needed was to be in charge, he needed Ben to want him, to crave him, Callum needed Ben. 

Ben moaned as Callum smacked his butt cheek light enough it wouldn't leave a real mark but hard enough to hear the smack on flesh while Ben felt the sting linger. Callum smiled at Ben's needy moan. Ben didn't mind a few smacks here and there but made it clear he didn't get off on spanking. Callum had never tried it before but the nip apparently wouldn't work tonight, "I said not moving." Ben didn't mean to, he just wanted to look at Callum wanted to see him all flushed and naked. He loved Callum naked. Callum slowly slipped the second finger in, Ben wanted to press down into the finger wanted to move his hips but the sting reminded him not to. Soon Callum started to thrust the fingers inside of Ben, as his other hand slowly slipped around to grasp Ben's cock firmly.

Callum's slick hand began to slowly jerk him off, paying close attention to his swollen head as Callum's lips were kissing and biting marks on his shoulder. Ben started to bite into his arm to keep the whimpers and grunts from spilling out of his mouth. He should have more resolve than this, he was Ben Mitchell. "I want to hear you," Callum whispered after giving a stinging bite to Ben's ear lobe before he slipped the third finger in. "No one but us is here baby," Callum finished as Ben nodded. Now letting his sounds out freely, Callum still slowly so slowly worked him over. Ben's body was on high alert, every touch every kiss was bringing him closer to the edge, but they both knew he wouldn't go over. Not at this pace, Callum was teasing him with an end that he wouldn't reach.

"Callum!" Ben cried as he felt the blissful pleasure pain of a fourth finger slip inside of him, Ben had never done four before. "You are doing so good," Callum hummed as he slowly spread the fingers apart. Ben had been wanting this for awhile but never trusted anyone to give it to him. Finally Callum's lightly brushing over that little nub he had been avoiding. Kissing up Ben's neck back down enjoying the taste of his sweat on his tongue. "Please." Ben begged brokenly, he needed so much more than this. His legs were burning, his arms were tired, and he felt like his body was about to combust into flames but he didn't have enough power to actually do so. He just needed a little push, just a small itty bitty tiny push and he'd be flying the high road of blissful ecstasy that only Callum could bring him to.

Ben moaned as Callum lifted him up and sat him down on his lap, Ben's head falling back against Callum's shoulder as Callum's arms wrapped around him to keep him in place. Callum moved Ben up and down on his cock slowly, Ben moaning as his body stretch around Callum, even after having four of his large fingers inside of him the burn felt exquisite. "No" Callum warned smacking his thigh as Ben's hands went to grip his own cock. After giving a pitiful whine Ben dropped his hands back down as Callum moved him up and down even more slowly as punishment. Ben started to kiss Callum's neck as he felt his body move up and down, the slow stretch sending vibrations through his body. Ben soon caught on giving in to Callum meant he'd give Ben a hard thrust every few thrust, hitting him just right. 

Soon Callum was kissing Ben, moaning as Ben thread his fingers through his hair lightly tugging at the silk strands. Ben tightened his grip as he felt Callum go deeper inside of him, deeper than he had ever been before. Callum soon swallowing Ben raspy moans as Callum shifted his hips just enough to hit that perfect bundle of nerves. Ben was letting out a "yes" followed by "please" "more" as Callum hit it again and again. Callum started to quickly the pace just a little. Not enough that it would take either of them over the edge. No, it was just enough that Ben's hand in his hair tightened and the other dug into Callum's already bruised thigh. 

Ben let out a cry of thanks when Callum shoved him down face first into the bed, fucking into Ben like a punishment. The pace now was harsh and frantic, hands twisting into the sheets as Callum's hands went to his hips. He moved Ben as quick and harshly as he wanted. Ben was going to feel Callum for weeks, he wouldn't be able to move without knowing he belonged to Callum Highway. Suddenly he was flipped over on his back, knees folded to his chest as Ben's hands flinging to the headboard while Callum gave him more of what he wanted, what he needed. 

The pleasure-painful stretch was prefect, Callum's hands went to Ben's cock. Ben couldn't have stop the "thank god" if he wanted to, and he didn't want to. It never felt as good as when Callum's rough hands jerked him off. As Callum started to once again peg that little bundle of nerves with each hard thrust, Ben felt like his body was unlocking a level he had never reach to before. Callum twisted his cock in just the right way, in just the right spot, Ben exploded with a scream of Callum's name. If Jay was downstairs he would have heard. Ben really couldn't remember much after that, except that when he opened his eyes he was back in Callum's warm heavenly mouth. Puling at Callum's hair, Ben brought their lips together. 

Rolling them over Ben sucked at his abused lips, both from their sex and his fight from earlier. Climbing down Callum's body he tore off the condom, Ben needed to taste him. He needed Callum to mark, to claim every single part of his body. Callum moaned, arching his hips up, Ben taking all of him into his mouth. Moaning as the pure taste that was Callum Highway invaded his senses. Moving his thighs apart, ragged nails digging into flesh as Ben felt the gratifying stretch in his throat, then releasing him just as quick. Grabbing the tube of lube that he felt next to him he slicked up one finger. They may not be ready for him to top just yet, but he could at least give Callum a taste of what's he does feel. Just a glimpse of how good Callum makes him feel every single time. 

"oh " Callum moans as Ben finger plays with the puckered skin, letting some of the lube slip on the clenching hole. Ben slowly lets the finger slip in as his mouth is back on Callum's cock. Callum has never felt anything like this before, closing his eyes his hand goes straight to Ben's hair. Callum doesn't know what feeling is too much. Was it the sting burning that was Ben's second finger playing with puckered skin trying to slip inside of him. Or was it Ben's warm hard mouth sucking him off, taking all of him. The moment Ben found his prostate Callum without warning was coming down Ben's throat as shock waves of pleasure crashed into him. Letting Callum go with his usual exaggerated pop, Ben climbed up to his side of the bed as Callum tried to regain his oxygen.

They'll talk tomorrow, right now Ben wanted to sleep. Soon Callum was rolling over, he felt Callum's lips on his back then his shoulder up to his neck. Ben gave a light moan as soon Callum's body was on top of his. His talented fingers massaging the knots in his back as his just as talented mouth soothed the marks his teeth made earlier. Soon the only thing that mattered was Callum. His hard warm body was on top of Ben's, his scent surrounding him, and those soft lips that were making his body forget just how tired he was. They would talk tomorrow, right now the only thing that matter was seeing if he could get Callum to scream like he just had. Callum laughed as Ben had him on his back, his grey eyes bright and lust filled. 

Yeah they could talk tomorrow. 

TBC


	5. Family Dates Take 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum and Ben being all domestic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was honestly going to wait to post this until like Tuesday but decided why not. Mainly since Jacey said she'll have chapter 6 to me by Tuesday, and Chapter 7(the final) by Saturday. Then I can finally reveal the writing challenge she gave me lol
> 
> THANK YOU! THANK YOU! The feedback has been great. Thank you to each and every person who comments and kudos. It truly does make a difference to us authors.

**Love Hopeful: Family Dates Take 2**

The sun came through the window making Ben groaned as he shifted more into his pillow moaning as Callum shifted above him. Until Callum Ben hated when people slept on him, Paul always found it amusing how he’d move away in his sleep. Ben just wasn’t a person who liked being held why he slept. Yet it seemed even in his sleep his body craved Callum’s warmth, he felt safe and protected with Callum around him. Callum rolled over Ben’s body followed him like they were tied together by some invisible tether. The bed was warm, comfy and it smelled so good. Ben never wanted to leave. Mainly because he knew once they did, he’d have to tell him what he didn’t last night.

It wasn’t like he or Linda knew the whole story. Lee hadn’t been free with her about the details in the letter, just that it would destroy Callum and several others. Linda had tried multiple times to get Lee to open up about the contents in the letter, but he wouldn’t. At this point all they knew about the letter was that it came from Callum’s mother, who he had talked about maybe twice, and that she was trying to locate Callum. Linda didn’t buy it one bit. It was clear from her tone, plus her words that Linda and Elenore did not get along. But Ben had to agree that there was more to this then a mother looking for her son, Lee had left something crucial out. 

Turning over, Ben smiled as he looked at Callum. He looked horrible, and Ben couldn’t get over how adorable it was. His face was bruised, swollen, with cuts, his body was battered, and his knuckles were torn apart. Looking at Callum now you wouldn’t think this man was the gentle giant they all knew he was. He wasn’t the man who would toss Lexi up in the air just as scared as she was that he wouldn’t catch her. They’d both give a nervous laughter of fear when he did. Yesterday the soldier came out, while Ben knew part of it was his pent-up emotions he wondered if there was another reason. The reason he doesn’t sleep until someone is next to him, the reason he jumps at loud noises, or get lost in his own mind from time to time.

Until Ben Callum never slept in, he was always up before the sun. Then Ben entered his bed, suddenly bed wasn’t just this thing for sleeping or to avoid the world. It was this soft inviting warm place that he and Ben could strip away all the layers and just be Callum and Ben. Since Ben his bed had become this sort of sanctuary, this almost place of worship. Callum smiled as Ben curled against him, his body warm and hard against his. He could lose himself in bed easily, just forget about the day and stay here. Wouldn’t be the first time. Ben would argue for a moment but Callum had quickly learned how to get Ben to bend to his way. 

Before Callum could make a move however, Ben had slipped out of the bed laughing as Callum groaned in displeasure. Ben loved the way Callum looked right as he woke up. His normally styled hair was fluffy sticking every which way. His skin was flushed and warm, his blue eyes bright and soft. It was easy to just climb on top of him and let him slip inside, let his teeth sink into tender flesh as his body still not fully awake rode that wave of pure ecstasy. Callum preferred to brush his teeth, Ben usually did too but there had been so many times his body’s need out trumped that preference. 

Ben was the first to do his morning routine. Callum was sore from yesterday’s fight. He was moving around the flat much slower than his usual self. Ben could now see the bruises on his body more clearly, his cheek had a pretty purple color, and the cut on his lower lip looked angry. Though he didn’t know if the cut looking swollen and angry was from the fight or from him last night. Ben tried not to smirk at the scrapes and cuts on Callum’s back. He knew he should learn to control himself, but cold weather was coming. Where else besides here would Callum really need to take off his shirt. Ben didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to ruin their day but Callum needed to know. He needed that choice.

“Lexi’s Halloween pictures came yesterday,” Callum told him holding up the envelope. “Lola and Jay are coming over for dinner so she can pick the ones she wants.”

“I still can’t believe you two made her a fairy costume,” Ben sighed taking the envelope, not bothering to hide how much he wanted to see them

“The only ones we could find were Tinkerbell,” Callum argued as Ben nodded with a smirk. “She made herself very clear she did not want to be Tinkerbell.”

Ben wanted to say something he really did but the truth was he wasn’t any better. All Lexi had to do was look at him with those wide eyes of her, give a little pout and he crumbled to her will. Even his dad couldn’t deny her anything. They all watched amused as she would climb into his lap using that little sad voice with her classic pout, and he’d get her anything she wanted. There was more than once Lola had picked her up rolling her eyes when she finds out they’d gone out for ice cream instead of doing her schoolwork. Lexi was a Mitchell.

Sitting down Ben grinned as he flipped through the pictures. You would have thought it was her first Halloween the way Lola and Callum had been going on and on, Jay and him just observing. Though Ben would admit Callum knew how to sew, he had her costume finished in two days from random things Lola gave him. He came to a photo of all of them together that Mick had happily taken. Lola and Callum of course dressed up, he and Jay had refused until Lexi. That was how he and Jay ended up dresses as puppies. 

“We never got to talk about Lee last night,” Ben sighed watching Callum’s face crinkle in confusion, as Ben put the photos aside. “Lee came specifically to see you, but he…he couldn’t do what he planned.”

“What are you talking about Ben,” Callum asked not understanding, he hadn’t seen Lee in years what could he have possibly wanted with him. 

“I’m not good at this,” Ben grumbled pulling Callum to sit on the couch with him, Callum stomach was starting to tie in knots again. “Being sincere I mean.”

“Ben just tell me what’s going,” Callum demanded, Ben nodded a little terrified.

“Lee meant well, he was going to tell you that morning,” Ben started watching Callum’s face start to turn pale. “Then he came here, and he knew this would destroy you.” Ben looked down at his hand, Callum really didn’t like this tone, Ben never had this tone. “Your mum wrote him a letter looking for you, he wouldn’t tell Linda what was in the letter, just said it would hurt a lot of people.”

“Damn her,” Callum grumbled closing his eyes, he opened them to see Ben bracing himself. “I’m fine Ben, this is what she does. She pops up every couple years claiming she wants to be in my life, that it was my dad who kept her away…then whatever scam she’s pulling ends and she’s off again.”

“I’m sorry,” Ben whispered not missing how Callum’s voice broke, it was clear she’d broken his heart more than once. 

“I can’t believe she pulled Lee into this,” Callum grumbled, Ben could tell he was angry. Callum felt Ben’s hand on his thigh trying to be comforting. “She knew where I was Ben, she called me nine months ago, I told her I wasn’t interested in reconnecting.”

“Linda said Lee was really upset, he wouldn’t tell her or Mick what was in the letter,” Ben replied watching Callum lean back with a hiss, then pushed himself back up as if trying to compose himself. 

“Ben, this is what she does,” Callum sighed trying to force himself not to cry over her--again. No matter how many times this happens, it still stung like the first time. Callum wondered if a day would come when she no longer had this power over him. “I’ll call Lee and get this sorted, he shouldn’t have to deal with this.”

Ben gave him a nod, but he could see how broken Callum was right now. He could understand. Your parents were supposed to love you. You were supposed to be the most important thing in their lives. Here he got blessed with not one but two parents who couldn’t care less. He knew that Mick and Linda saw him as family, he was their Halfway. No matter how much Callum hated that name, he’d never tell them to stop using it. But it wasn’t the same as your own parents. No matter how old you get, no matter how much they mess up a part of you will always want them to want you more than their vices.

They decided to go out to eat for breakfast, neither of them wanting to cook at this very moment. Ben could almost laugh at the wide eye shocked look Callum was getting by his appearance. Seeing Ben all battered and bruised got no reactions, seeing Callum all bruised and cut open apparently did. He frowned the moment Kathy’s eyes caught sight of him, before he could warn Callum she was on top of him. Soon being ushered into a seat while she scolded Ben for not telling her how bad the fight truly was. 

Unlike yesterday Callum didn’t seem annoyed or angry like he did with Whitney and Linda. Maybe it was because Kathy was his mother, Callum expected her to go all smothering on him. Every time Ben tried to get her to stop, she would shush him, which got a smirk out of Callum. Then Lola appeared with Lexi just as Kathy disappeared to start her turn. Callum explained in a nicer way what had happened the day before. Lexi leaning her head against Callum’s arm in comfort when Lola frowned asking how much he hurt. Soon Lola and Kathy were turning to Ben asking why he had him out, going on about him being in bed resting. He turned to see Lexi shaking her head at him, her little face all scrunched up in disapproval. 

“I think they like you more than me,” Ben snipped as they walked outside, he gave Callum a glare as he laughed.

“Let’s go grab the items I need to make dinner tonight,” Callum laughed until Ben stood in front of him shaking his head no.

“My mum gave me strict orders to get you home to bed,” Ben said maneuvering him towards his flat, he could feel the looks he was getting from those around him.

“I need to buy chicken and broccoli,” Callum told him trying to get himself out of Ben’s grip then stopped with a hiss. Ben swore he saw at least three people’s head snap up like they thought Ben did something to him. “Wait, no Lexi doesn’t like broccoli reminds her too much of trees…oh potatoes.” Callum faced brightened up. “She really loved those garlic potatoes I made last week.”

“My mum is watching us,” Ben frowned as Callum looked behind them to give her a wave with a smile, she smiled back. “We’re going back to your flat so you can make me a list of what you need. Then you are going to take some painkillers because you look like you are in agony and I’ll go grab the stuff while you take a nap.”

Callum wanted to argue but he did have the will in him. Every time he moved; he felt every ache in his body amplify. If he had been a smart man, he probably would have gone to the Emergency room yesterday because his body had not been in good shape. But instead he spent his evening push it past pleasure pain, not that he would do it differently. The idea of taking something for the pain and laying down did appeal to him. So Callum let himself be pulled towards his flat, he was starting to notice the looks. While they were standing waiting to cross Callum turned the brightest shade of red when he heard some woman ask another if they thought Callum’s bruises was a sex thing. Callum didn’t wait for the cars to finished going he pulled Ben along before he opened his mouth waving his hand as an apology at the cars honking.

He knew his boyfriend well enough to know that Ben was going to say something, and whatever he was planning to say would be horribly bad and highly inappropriate. They sounded older, and he was not going to be an accessory to causing some elderly ladies to go into cardiac arrest. Callum knew as he drug Ben across the street that he was trying to see if he could make out who said the comment but Callum was making it hard. Which was most certainly on purpose. Pushing him up the stairs they were both in a fit of laughter, despite the pain of Callum’s injuries. 

Ben ordered Callum to take a long hot shower, frowning as he helped him take off his shirt. Callum had not looked this bad last night, but Ben knew from experience it took a few hours for all the bruises and marks to appear. You could make out that Callum had most certainly been slammed into the chair. Callum assured him he’d be fine after a little rest. Ben laughed at his dark glares when Ben mentioned just ordering in for dinner. As Callum stepped in the hot shower after taking the painkillers, Ben headed out with the list and money Callum insisted he take. 

Callum’s two maybe three item grocery trip was more like ten items. He was also very specific; for three of the items he listed alternatives if Ben couldn’t find the one he originally listed. Ben was internally laughing until he started looking for the items, and then he was cursing Callum Highway’s name. Luckily some lady took pity on him and asked what he was looking for, she nodded as if she understood before pointing him in the right direction. As he shuffled the bags from arm to arm, he prayed that this meal was worth all this trouble. The only thing that kept him from losing his cool was the mental image of Callum’s body. He needed rest. 

Part of him wanted to call Lola and tell her the dinner was off, but Callum would probably murder him. Callum loved cooking for people, and Lola and Lexi loved his cooking. The times Lexi has been over she’s asked for Callum to make the food. Ben didn’t know if she actually loved Callum’s cooking that much, or like her dad she liked the way Callum would smile when she happily ate whatever he made. His daughter had a big heart, she truly was the best of him. Ben stopped as he got to the door frowning as he heard giggles, very loud giggles followed by louder high pitch screams.

“Daddy!” Lexi greeted excitedly from the couch but didn’t get up from whatever game she and Callum were playing. Then he heard a bang of her feet. “I WIN!”

“Lexi decided I needed cookies,” Callum explained pointing to the plate of cookies on the counter, as if he could hear Ben’s mental question of what his daughter was doing here.

“Grandma and I made his favorite,” Lexi declared so sweetly Ben couldn’t help but smile. “Peanut butter with chocolate chips.”

“Why don’t you do this game on your own while I help your daddy,” Callum told him, smiling when she nodded happily. Standing up he tried to not make a face as he followed Ben with the groceries. “Did you find everything?”

“Callum,” Ben said, attempted to remain calmly. His eyes on his daughter who was playing some sort of Mario game. Callum looked at Lexi then back at Ben like he was puzzled why Ben was looking at him frustrated. “Why is Lexi here?” Ben quickly looked at her making sure she didn’t hear, knowing his tone wasn’t one he wanted her to ever hear. “Where’s Lola?”

“Lola came by to drop off the cookies. We chatted about our afternoon plans, and I offered to watch Lexi so she could get some errands done before our dinner,” Callum explained to him pulling items out of the bag giving a face at a few, clearly Ben picked up a few extras. Then noticed Ben was giving him a death glare. “Why? Is that a problem?”

“You are supposed to be recovering, not doing gaming marathons with a seven year old,” Ben grunted annoyed taking the bag from him, watching Callum eyes go wide. But Ben didn’t care. “Go put on a movie for you and Lexi while I put these groceries away.” Ben pointed to the couch, Callum had never seen Ben act like this. “Then after the movies you both are taking a nap.”

“Dad,” Lexi whined from the couch, Ben head snapped to her, Callum watched his eyes go sharp but his voice had no heat.

“No arguments young lady,” Ben told her watching her face turn into a pout. “No nap, means no ice cream after dinner.”

“Callum can we watch Frozen,” Lexi asked softly.

“Sure sweetheart,” Callum told her smiling before Ben could yell no. If there was one thing Ben has told him it’s the fact Lexi watches that movie on repeat to the point it gives him and Lola nightmares. 

Ben isn’t angry that Lexi is over here, he loves that Callum and Lexi get along like they do. He loves watching her and Callum play whatever game he has that is age appropriate for her. The fact that Lola trust him, makes him happy. She is their little girl, she’s their entire world. He would move heaven and earth for her, destroy anyone who would even think about touching her or causing her pain. There is no one more important to him than his daughter. He wasn’t upset she was over here. No, he was upset that Callum was not listening to him.

He made it very clear that Callum should be resting. Ben gave him orders to take a long shower, then he was to lay down in bed and sleep for a while so his body could heal. He was not supposed to be eating cookies, chatting with Lola, and babysitting a highly active child. Babysitting Lexi included them giggling and jumping up and down on the couch as if waving their hands around like maniacs would make the character move differently. It doesn’t do a thing! All it did was make Callum move more than he needs to. Thus, causing him to hurt himself worse than he was already hurting, Ben was already worried about his injuries.

Ben stopped realizing that his putting grocery away had turned into him rearranging the shelves because he had no idea what Whitney was doing in here. He was pretty sure she just tossed things in, there was literally no system in this cupboard. Looking up he watched Callum and Lexi watching the movie, he had to force himself not to smile---he was not happy. Lexi looking at the screen like it was her first time watching this film. Sometimes he did love seeing the world through her eyes though. The world seemed so much simpler, purer when he gazed at it in the perspective of an innocent seven-year-old child. 

Moving to the dishes, he quickly did them and cleaned off the counters as if he could scrub his annoyance away. He stopped when _that_ song came on and there was no singing besides the movie. Lexi always sang “Let It Go.” Turning around he laughed, he couldn’t help it. There are on the couch lied Lexi and Callum both fast sleep. Without thinking he snapped a photo. Lola would love this photo, and he was going to love her getting mad when he refused to send it. Going over he smiled, picking Lexi up he placed her on the bed in the spare room. He tried not to look around too much, fear too many memories would come flooding back. He gently woke Callum, guided him to the bed. Tucked him in, then shut the door. Sitting down on the couch he glared as Frozen still played, mainly because he didn’t hate this stupid film. He just was over seeing it every day. Maybe he could talk Callum into getting her into dragon or knights. 

XOXO

Slipping out of the bed Ben smiled as he looked down at Callum fast asleep in his bed. It struck him as odd that he could be with Callum so easily. Even with Paul there had been a period of struggle, but with Callum what made them different seem to work just fine. If anything, he found that they adapted quite quickly. When Ben was over Callum didn’t get up before the sun rose, instead he stayed in bed just a little bit longer. Ben hadn’t complained or anything but Callum just seemed to pick up on the fact once Ben was awake, he was awake. Ben in turn realized quickly that Callum needed quiet time before bed. 

Sometimes it was soothing to just watch Callum read his book or write in his journal. He never asked about the notebook he wrote in, he understood it was his private thoughts, maybe something he got told to do when he left the Army. Ben had been looking up stuff, Callum did exhibit warning signs of PTSD. He wanted them to talk about it, wanted Callum to be able to open-up but he didn’t know how to approach it exactly. How does one go up to their boyfriend of almost two months and start asking those questions? He just knew the signs pointed that way. He had decided to maybe talk to Mick or Lee when he comes back for Christmas. 

They were in Ben’s room Pam had finally agreed to let Callum paint the walls. Well sort of. Ben had called her up, and maybe sort of played a few cards that Callum wouldn’t like. Les, bless his soul had agreed with Ben on this. What Callum didn’t know was that Ben was paying for the materials and Pam agreed to pay to have it done professionally. Ben gave his word to her he’d take care of it as she gave him the budget. By the end of the day he had someone signed on, and Callum with the help of Lola and Lexi had his colors picked out the next day. Ben had Callum staying with him so they could get it done without interference. Jay didn’t like how fast Ben was making the process go, but he didn’t care. He wanted the pink walls gone.

The best part to Ben was the fact Callum bought new curtains to match the new walls. Beautiful lovely black out curtains that would no longer allow the evil rays of sunlight into the bedroom when he slept over. The workers finished up yesterday, and he’d be able to move back in tomorrow. They said he should be fine today, but Lexi had talked them into having Callum stay one more night. Apparently, Callum and Lola had made plans for him to bake something with her. Ben tried to remember but Ian went all Ian like when Kathy told him. 

“Good morning Princess,” Ben greeted Lexi who beamed up at him, Ben caught Ian looking at him. “Problems Ian?”

“Kathy told him if he can’t say anything nice about Callum’s dinner tonight, she doesn’t want to hear him say anything at all,” Lola explained smiling finishing fixing Lexi’s hair for school.

“I feel Callum would appreciate my feedback,” Ian grumbled, his face making Lexi laugh and Bobby roll his eyes.

“One word, Ian,” Kathy warned him coming back into the room with a stern face, then softening as she looked at Ben. “Let Callum know if he need anything, I can always grab it, I don’t want him to buy a thing.”

“I’ll let him know,” Ben swore smiling then laughing at Ian’s expression followed by Kathy pushing him out of the house.

Ben was grateful no one seem to mention Callum’s nightmares from last night so maybe no one heard them. He was praying they didn’t, Callum gets embarrassed by them enough right now. He hated that Ben knew he had them, like having nightmares made him weak. Usually if Ben was in the bed with him, he’d sleep fine. Since the fight at the Vic last week they’d been the worse Callum admitted to ever having. He knew it was probably because it brought up old wounds, but it still scared Ben. After losing Paul he didn’t sleep for a long time, and when he did the dreams weren’t good dreams. 

Callum got up like normal, showered, got dressed, gave Ben a kiss, and was out the door in record time. Sometimes Ben liked to watch him, he was so precise in his movements. There were times when he could barely walk without tripping over air, but then others he was meticulous. Every movement he made lead to another never did he go out of order. He had his entire morning down to the second, from the moment he got up to walking out the door. Ben swore he probably timed how long it took to get to work, because Jay mentioned he still shows up at the exact same time. 

Ben quickly got ready for his own day he had a few extra jobs to do to pay the last bit for the painters. He and Callum saw it after they finished last night, they were moving the furniture back in later today. He took photos sending them to Pam who agreed the place looked nice. So many words unspoken, but he caught every one of them. Ben promised to be there since Jay was letting Callum off early since Lexi asked. He had to hand it to his kid she knew how to work people, and even at seven she was using it to her advantage. The Mitchell side of her blood was strong. 

The day went and came like any other day, everything ran smoothly. Well almost everything, Ben ran into Louise and Sharon who pretty much told him he and Callum were expected at dinner sometimes this week. Louise even went as far to say, she’d talk with Lola about setting up a time. He was going to say no then Callum had to show up and be all excited for it. Ben watched horrified when he agreed to bring something. Ben did not expect this. Callum was supposes to want to get out of it. Ben knew his mum liked Callum, but the idea of Callum sitting across from his dad sort of freaked him out—a lot. It was crystal clear Phil liked him, especially after last week. It was weird enough with Phil asking how Callum was doing, but to think he was inviting him to a Mitchell dinner. 

Ben opened the door with Jay behind him to the smell of sweet sugar and creamy alfredo sauce. Poking his head inside he could see Ian had already been banished away from the kitchen because he kept looking that way with a glare. Lola and his mum were talking and laughing as they drank a glass of wine. He had to stop himself because Bobby wasn’t usually one for company, but he was next to Lexi talking to Callum. Lexi was standing on a stepping stool next to Callum. She had her long hair pinned up in a now messy bun, apron as dirty as her face mixing something in a bowl as Bobby supervised her. Jay stayed with Lola as Ben headed towards the kitchen not missing his mum’s wide grin.

Ben watched as Callum and Bobby helped her frost the cake, Callum also moving back every so often to the dinner he was cooking. Soon the red cake that Ben was assuming was red velvet was frosted. Lexi hopping around super excited, Ben wondered how much frosting she tried. He watched all Callum lifted her down laughing as he took a rag to clean off her face. Bobby laughing with him before telling him he’ll take her to Lola to get her washed up properly for dinner. She squealed when she noticed Ben, kissing the top of her head Callum pushed her towards Lola and Kathy who laughed at the sight of her. Kathy happily took her to get cleaned up. 

“Alfredo sauce,” Ben guessed looking into a pan.

“Lexi said she’s never had it homemade before,” Callum told him finishing the chopping up of vegetables for the salad.

“You made this…from scratch,” Ben gasped, he figured he’d just grab a few jars and doctor it up. He really should have known better, Callum never took an easy route.

“It’s a pretty basic recipe,” Callum shrugged tossing the vegetables into the bowl, as Ben eyes went to another pan. “Brussel sprouts.”

“If you get Lexi or Bobby to eat those Ian will never allow you in this kitchen again,” Ben joked remember that horrible night when both refused to eat one vegetable he made. In their defense the sauce he moved them in was disgusting and smelled even worse. 

“Lexi has already promised to eat one whole sprout and half her salad,” Callum tells him feeling proud of himself, Ben gave him a weird look. “I may have promised I’d let her pick first next time we play Mario party.”

“She’s such a Mitchell,” Ben laughed.

Kathy gave Ian a warning look as he sat down, soon the food was being passed around. Bobby and Lexi both already knew the alfredo was delicious as Callum let them be taste testers. Callum had to assure Ben he didn’t make the bread from scratch, that took more time than he had. He did warm it in the oven after adding some garlic butter on it though. Lexi was apparently a fan. Ben and Lola were quickly discovering their daughter had a love for garlic. As promised Lexi ate her Brussel sprout, then went back for a second and third. She even ate all her salad. Bobby happily ate two plates of all the food.

Ian smiled as he ate, asking in an overly polite way about the food. Ben knew he was frustrated because Callum refused to give up any secrets. The Brussel sprouts he learned from Linda it was a basic glaze he used to cook them slowly with. The salad vinaigrette was something he plays with each time. He just adds a little this and a little that until it comes out how he like it. The alfredo he can’t share with anyone, it was a secret recipe his mate Sam taught him. He swore an oath never to reveal it to anyone. He had to explain Sam’s cousin taught it to him, so no one knows that Sam knows. Callum was quiet as to why Sam taught him the recipe.

Callum of course gave Lexi all the credit for the cake. Ben really did love to see her smile. Ben would give Ian credit he didn’t once make Callum feel bad or not eat anything on his plate. He was overly polite which he knew Callum caught on to. So did their mum because she happily volunteered Ian for cleanup duty. Bobby agreed to help, Lexi was pulling Ben and Jay off to show them something she made at school. Later Callum watched in the doorway as Ben told her a story. Anyone who watched this scene would not believe it was the same Ben Mitchell you hear about on the streets. The rough and tough bad boy who doesn’t know when to quit. Right now, in this moment he was just a dad, and it was these moments that Callum held on to the most.

XOXO

If there was a way to get out of something Ben had tried it, he really had. Callum would not relent, he would not change his mind and he would not let Ben cancel. So here they were walking towards the lion den, in the most literal sense of the word. Callum looked nice, he had opted for the sexy green button up that Ben loved so much. His shoes had been shined, his pants had been ironed, and in his hands was something he spent a good three plus hours making. Callum every few steps would pull Ben along like the small stubborn child he was acting like. 

Callum knew it wasn’t him, it wasn’t that he was ashamed or didn’t want Callum there. Ben had made that very clear yesterday when Callum had asked, his face broken as Ben yet again tried to get out of going. It was how horrible the Mitchell family was. He was scared that once Callum saw them together, that suddenly he’d realize just what he was getting himself into. Callum had laughed, it was strange to think Ben didn’t think Callum hadn’t thought about this. He knew Phil Mitchell came with the package, but he also knew that Ben wasn’t his father. Ben felt some relief when Jay stated it wouldn’t be all the Mitchells. 

Callum had forced Ben to wear one of his nicer shirts, made him change twice before accepting the jeans he was currently wearing. This was their first meal with them, his meal at Kathy’s was hard enough but he cooked so he felt more at ease then. As they walked up Louise was outside, she hugged them grinning widely. They said hello to Sharon, who got very excited when Callum opened the pan to reveal a scalloped potatoes dish. He explained in detail what it was, but all he knew was Sharon and Louise seemed excited. Callum later revealed Lola told him how they’ve both been on a cheese and carb kick.

“Mr. Mitchell,” Callum greeted shaking his hand, Phil accepted it. Phil looking him up and down taking in how he was healing up.

“Ben said you were feeling poorly,” Keanu stated from his chair smirking up at Ben who shot him a glare, Ben gave a grin as Sharon “accidently” smacked him in passing.

“Probably the fumes from the paint, they can linger,” Sharon grinned handing him and Ben both a drink.

“Or three days of Ian cooking,” Callum joked watching Phil start to laugh patting him on the back.

“The potatoes you made will go nicely with the ham,” Sharon told them motioning for Ben and Callum to sit. Amazed that Phil didn’t give them a look when they sat next to each other. Ben took out his phone.

“Jay said he and Lola should be here soon,” Ben announced with a deep sigh, then looked at Phil. “Lexi has a cold though, so they’re keeping her in bed.” Ben looks to Callum raises his finger sternly, “And no that doesn’t mean you need to go and buy her yet another stuffed animal she doesn’t need.”

“Are you the one who bought her that adorable pink unicorn she’s been carrying around,” Louise asked in a cutesy voice that nearly had Ben tossing his phone at her.

“And the witch bear, white rabbit, and the two hearts because one heart just isn’t enough,” Ben complained not missing Sharon smirk. 

“Jay bough her the hearts,” Callum argued watching Ben face crinkles in annoyance, he was going to hurt his brother.

Soon Jay and Lola arrived, everyone started moving about and chatting. Ben rolled his eyes as Callum as ever started asking if he could help. Louise and Lola tried to hold back giggles as Sharon happily accepted some help looking over to Phil who was talking to Jay. Soon the dinner was on the table, Dennis came down giving a nod to Ben. Ben rolled his eyes as he pulled a chair out for Louise as Jay pulled Lola’s out making Phil feel like he had to do so for Sharon. Keanu stuttered something but Louise mimicked Ben’s eye roll. 

The dinner went over well, Sharon and Louise loving the potatoes, but Ben was pretty sure it could taste like dirt and they’d love them. The conversations were good, Ben kept it light and somewhat impersonal as he didn’t want Callum to be stuck in a hard spot. Callum kept them talking about the babies, and their plans, and baby names. Ben was pretty sure he and Dennis had the same expression as Callum tried his best to give opinions. Phil hoping to end the conversations of colors schemes said he was hoping for something more neutral. Keanu closed his eyes groaning as Louise started in on how she also wanted to decorate in gender neutral colors. Callum of course somehow knew someone from the Army who followed that. 

Ben watched as he showed them pictures of examples of the nursery. Soon Phil started to talk to Ben Jay and Keanu clearly getting that Louise and Sharon were not going to talk anything but baby stuff. Ben literally dropped his head to the table as Callum caught Sharon before she slipped face first into the floor. Phil running to her side, no one seeing anything on the floor. Sharon admitted she had been feeling a little lightheaded today. Callum rushed off to get her some orange juice. They watched as he took her blood pressure stating it a little low, and that she should probably make an appointment. Ben lifted his head, and Jay eyes went wide when Callum volunteered them three for the cleanup. Phil thanked him then told Louise she should maybe lie down too. 

“Callum thank you,” Phil told him his voice low gruff but there was something oddly gentle.

“I didn’t do anything,” Callum assured him wiping the counter up, giving Jay a look when he left water spilled all over.

“You got a good one son,” Phil told Ben patting him on the back as he walked back towards Sharon, missing the looks Jay and Ben give.

“If you deliver my sister’s baby, he’ll probably start planning our wedding,” Ben told him half joking, half not.

“I have good reflexes,” Callum explained, Ben knew how much he hated being the center of attention.

“You don’t have to let me that,” Ben winked watching him turn bright red, as Jay groaned.

“Drinks,” Lola said coming into the room smiling.

Walking down the street Ben couldn’t help how happy he felt, and this feeling was bad. Because when he was happy then the universe always had a way of kicking him down. It was like there was someone up there wanting to see how much they could push him. This would be the perfect opportunity too. His work was going great, he was surprisingly making a good amount of profit. His dad was treating him well, but he didn’t know if that was him or Callum. 

Oh Callum. Callum was so much to him, more than he knew how to express right now. Ben was scared to be truthful. What he felt for Callum were intense but good—oh were they good. Just thinking of him always made Ben felt warm inside. Callum knew he was falling, and as much as he knew it was a good thing it terrified him. He spent more nights over at Callum’s then he knew he should, but it was like he felt like he should. He knew he should let go of the final piece of the past, but something still held him back. Lexi adored Callum. 

Lexi was happy. Like she was blissfully happy in her new life here in Walford. She loved being this close to her grandparents, and she loved Jay and Callum. Sometimes Ben would not lie it got him a little jealous watching her with them. He knew it was ridiculous. Jay would never try to take his place as Lexi’s dad, and Lola wouldn’t let him. She’d been with a bloke or two that had hinted at it, but she stopped them. Lexi loved her dad, Ben was her everything. When she looked at him there was no question who her superhero was. In her little world Ben was her protector, her hero, and no one not Jay nor Callum could ever take the spot. 

Walking into The Vic, Mick gave them a wave as they made their way over to a table. Linda came over quickly to say hello, giving Ben a pat on the shoulder after hugging Callum. Soon Jay was back with the first round as Lola and Callum were on some discussions of Christmas. Jay started to pipe in, Ben couldn't help the feeling in the pit of his stomach. Everything was going good, and when things start to go good for a Mitchell something bad happened. He couldn't shake this feeling like a cloud was looming over them, a sign of doom to come. Looking over at Callum's healing face, Ben couldn't help but wonder if maybe the trouble was him. Maybe the reason he couldn't be happy was--he wasn't meant to be. 

TBC


	6. An Idiot Named Ben Mitchell Take 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben gets scared, Callum gets sad, while Callum and Lexi bond some more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually lost half this chapter and had to rewrite it, after a power outage at 2am. Once I started rewriting it took on a whole new direction and I couldn't stop. Hard to believe there's only one more chapter, and it's a whirlwind. I won't have it back until after Halloween. 
> 
> I love you guys, all your comments and kudos warm my heart. I am starting the first draft of the third and final story for this trilogy. No idea how many chapter yet though, no less than five but no more than nine lol.
> 
> THANK YOU! Jacey!

**Love Hopeful: An Idiot Named Ben Mitchell Take 2**

Callum looked around, everything looked decent well better than decent if he was honest, but he was still a mess. It was the first of December and Ben thought this was ludicrous, but Lexi wanted to do it. And the truth of the matter was so did Callum. Growing up his Christmases were nothing that anyone would want to share. He usually ended up sneaking over to Lee’s house. Partly in an effort to get away from his father and brother, partly because it felt warm and inviting. When his mum was still with them she would at least put a half-heartedly effort into celebrating but once she left all attempts stopped. Looking at Lexi Callum was grateful she'd never know what he knew at her age.

Callum had mentioned wanting to decorate a tree this year, Lexi and Lola had gone over the moon about the idea. Before Ben and Jay knew what was happening a party had been planned for today, anyone who wanted to come was invited. Last night Lola found the perfect tree and forced Jay to drag Ben along to purchase it, she hadn't left any room open for disagreement. She and Lexi watched with wide eyes as they carried it up to Callum’s flat. Lexi wanted to start decorating that moment, gave a pout when Ben told her they had to wait for the party. That’s when Callum had promised her if she was patient, she could put the topper on the tree at the very end. Ben rolled his eyes while Lola giggled hugging him then jumping around the flat overly excited until she finally passed watching some movie with Callum.

Ben thought Lexi was in what had pretty much been dubbed her room here at Callum’s. The room had been painted in light pretty colors, a purple unicorn blanket on top the twin size bed. She had clothes along with odds and ends around the room. Ben had been glaring at the number of stuffed animals she was collecting. It was like they were multiplying, every time he went into her room it was like she had more. Lola tells him that was in his head, but he knows it isn’t. There were at least two right now he didn't remember her getting. Looking around the room, Ben could still feel the small ache inside his heart. No amount of paint or sparkles would ever make him forget whose room this was first. 

“Daddy!” Lexi cheered loudly from behind him, giggling as he turned around and laughed. He was glad the laugh came out like she wanted because what was going on. “Callum made me an elf!”

“That he didn’t princess,” Ben smiled at her looking, then gave a look a Callum who was beaming with pride dressed just as ridiculous. 

“Mummy made him snowflakes for my hair,” Lexi told him thrilled as she pointed to her hair, that Ben recognized right away from Frozen. Ben wanted to be annoyed but she looked so joyful with her green and red fluffy dress and shoes with bells on them. He couldn't, he wanted this for her. “I made you a hat.”

“Lexi why don’t you go pick up before people start to arrive,” Callum told her pointing to her books on the floor, she nodded happily as Callum took the hat from her.

“Can’t wait to see what you two do for New Year…or better Valentine’s Day,” Ben told him looking down at the hat in his hand, giving him a stern look about to say no.

“Wear it for a couple photos yeah,” Callum begged giving him a quick kiss as he put it on his head. "Then you can hid it in our room." Ben couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. 

It was a normal Christmas hat, except Lexi had added small bits of green glitter to match her. Ben couldn’t deny it, she looked adorable. Callum had somehow made her a red and white dress with a puffy skirt, except it had green pom poms on it. Her red boots also had green pom poms on the toe and jingled from the bells. Her long blond hair was done in the mermaid style with sparkling snowflakes throughout. Ben did not miss how her skin glittered either, rolling his eyes. Green glitter. He shouldn't be surprised, Lexi loved glitter and sparkles. 

Ben watched her move her books to a bookshelf in the room that everyone but him was calling hers. He just couldn’t do it, not yet. She skipped out going over climbing next to Callum as they decided what music to play. She giggled and clapped as he let her pick some songs to the put in the playlist. Soon Jay and Lola were walking in, Ben groaned. Jay came in wearing a Christmas sweater and Santa hat, he had hoped at least Jay would be on his side. Lola rolled her eyes at him as she pushed the bags she was carrying into his arms. He carried them over to the table to see they were more decorations. How much did they think Callum needed for this tiny flat? He watched as Lola gushed over the finished product that Callum did, Jay laughing as she twirled around. 

Ben did have to admit Callum was a natural when it came to being a step-parent, or even just a parent. He didn’t go about demanding Lexi listen to him, didn’t really bride or blackmail her to listen. Sure, they made their deals, but that somehow had become their thing. When it was important like chores, Lexi listened to him like she did Ben. There were times like a week ago when Callum wanted her to do quiet time, and she wanted him to read one more chapter that night. He wanted her to eat her vegetables that night and she wanted ten extra minutes on whatever game he promised her she could play the next day. It was fun watching them. 

“Lexi you look magical,” Whitney gushed walking in the flat with a bag of something that Ben was hoping wasn’t decorations. 

“Callum made it for me,” Lexi told her twirling around for her with a giggle, Ben really needed his daughter to not be so cute and charming.

“Let me help you,” Jay stated looking at Ben with a frown. Ben didn’t know why he looked at him, this was Callum’s party not his.

“We have red punch and green punch, both are non-alcoholic,” Callum announced to everyone handing Lexi a glass of red punch, as no one missed Ben look. Callum rolled his eyes. “Your beer is in the fridge babe.”

“Is Ben okay,” Lola asked Callum quietly as Ben walked off from the group Lexi following him with a skip. It was heartwarming how much she loved him. 

“I think seeing the flat changed,” Callum whispered nodding towards Paul’s old room. “Is bothering him more than he thought it would.”

“Changing the wall color isn’t going to fade the memories,” Jay sighed wrapping his arms around Lola, as they watched Ben pick up Lexi who was making him smile.

Ben stopped everyone rolling his eyes as no one could decide what to decorate first, soon he was ordering people around. Because that was Ben's default. Taking object from people’s hand with a disgusted face shooing them away as he took over one project and another. He did not miss Callum’s gleeful look, or miss the sparkle in Lexi's eyes. It felt like everyone was coming up to help or give Callum something they decided they didn’t want this year. Ben didn’t know if it was a way to finally welcome him or just to see what the painters had done with the flat. Part of him knew it was to see if the rumor was true; that Ben lived here now with Callum.

Ben didn’t. They were just a little over two months into this relationship, there was no way he could move in just yet. Sometimes it all felt unreal to him. He felt like at time he and Callum had been together for ages. Sometime the fact that they were actually at the beginning of their relationship dulled, especially when they were here in this flat just the two of them. Ben would be at the table doing business Callum would be on his game or watching a film. They'd be discussing dinner or Lexi like it was something they've done for years. Callum would just know what he liked or why Lexi wouldn’t eat something. It still boggled him that Callum knew why Lexi didn’t like broccoli, but he and Lola just figured it was because she was seven. No, they terrified her by how much they looked like trees. If you chopped them up giving it to her in a soup, she’d happily eat them. Something Callum found out when he made Cheddar Broccoli Soup when she had her cold. 

Mick and Linda stopped by handing Ben a bottle of wine, and Callum a small box of what looked to be random objects. He didn’t get to see exactly what the objects were because Callum had rushed away from him with the box. He did see Lexi climb next to him, he started to show her what appeared to be an antique snow globe. Callum placed the snow globe in her hands gently watching as her face lit up watching the old object come alive. Callum grinned tipping it over to wind it up. Everyone watching mesmerized as her eyes went wide as she exhaled a small gasp with wonder as music began to play. If you didn’t believe in the power of Christmas, Ben had no doubt this moment would even warm your heart.

The tree had no theme, unless random objects no one wants anymore was a theme. It was just color after color, one weird out of place object after another, just pieces of junk hanging on tree limbs. Yet as the lights were turned on, everyone inside Callum’s small flat just stood there eyes wide with utter wonder. Lexi and the other children giggled and clapped as if the tree had just come to life, like in one of their movies. Ben watched as Lexi laughed purely as Callum flung her in the air, the fear she used to have gone. Her trust in him absolute. Callum then flopped her on his shoulders as Mick handed her the star to place on top. Phil, Sharon, and Louise arrived moments before they turned the tree on. Ben had forgotten he was still in the hat, Jay telling him to keep it on. Lola wanted a few pictures in front of the tree all lit up. 

Louise forced him to take a few with her, happily smiling with Lexi in her own Christmas outfit. Then Callum motioned for all the Mitchells in the room, Sharon agreed pulling Phil in for another photo. Lexi had to pout the get the few with him before. Phil lifting Lexi up, Ben watched her smile. Linda agreed to take another one, this time with Keanu and Ben. Phil even took a photo of Callum with Mick and Linda, which Ben knew was more for show then actual Christmas spirit. That became clear as he asked Keanu to take one with them plus Mick and Linda. The Mitchells on one side with Ben Callum in the middle and the Carters on the next. His father was making sure Mick understood that Callum had been claimed by the Mitchell’s, and he better get used to it.

“Looks like someone was tired,” Jay laughed pointing to Lexi asleep in front of the tree, the snow globe next to her.

“We should get her home,” Lola yawned feeling the tiredness in her bones, looking around making sure they helped clean up the entire mess.

“We don’t mind if she stays another night,” Callum told Lola who smiled up at him then looked to Jay who gave a nod at the idea.

After a few seconds Lola finally gave in. Lexi had been here since Friday, but Lola was just so tired. The idea of carrying her down the stairs, and then back inside the house and all the way into her room made her body ache worse. So she agreed, Lexi was already fast asleep and it did seem like the best idea for everyone involved. Soon Callum was lifting her up from the ground, Lola following him as they made their way to her room. She was cranky when Lola forced her to clean up and change out of her outfit. Ben smiled she was his daughter. 

Soon she was tucked into the bed that Ben had not missed people calling hers all night. Lola laughed kissing the top of her head, Ben followed as Callum placed the snow globe next to her bed before turning off the lights. Ben watched Callum explained he washed her uniform from Friday, and he’ll make sure she eats a proper breakfast. Lola laughs explaining she’s not worried, her hesitation was out of missing her not trusting Callum. Soon Lola and Jay leave, Lola truly was exhausted. It reminded her of when Lexi was a baby. Quietly Callum and Ben get ready for bed. Ben can’t help that sour feeling in his stomach. the one that had been gnawing at him for days.

Looking around he realizes just how invested he was in this relationship. Most of his clothes were here, he had his own side of the closet his own part of the dresser. Pictures of Lexi were hanging on the wall, pictures of him and his mates were next to Callum’s photos of his Army days. Lexi truly did have her own room here. Callum and Jay had bought her video games, hell she had her own controller. Callum had spent all day looking for one that she would love. Walking into the bedroom he had his own side of the bed. On the stand were his glasses, a phone charger, the case for his hearing aid, and the book he was reading. Callum walked past him happily giving him a quick kiss before climbing into bed. Ben couldn’t stop the sick feeling that just wouldn't fade—did he live here?

XOXO

Callum walked into his flat not wanting to be here, not wanting to see all the Christmas decorations mocking him of a happier moment. It was Friday, he could go out tonight. Whitney had invited him as had Lola. They claimed he needed a night out away from Ben and his obvious tantrum. Callum didn’t know if that’s what this was, because it felt more like a breakup. Callum had spent all last night trying to figure this all out, and he couldn’t come up with anything. All he knew was that for the fourth day in a row Ben had ignored his call. 

Monday morning Ben had woken up to Callum fixing Lexi’s hair as she ate her breakfast, her school stuff all packed and ready to go. Ben had dressed, grabbed Lexi stuff and been out the door. Callum at the time hadn’t thought anything to it until he didn’t call. He’d spent the entire weekend at Callum’s, so he figured they were having some family time with Lola, then no call on Tuesday. Lola stopped by on Wednesday. That's when he found out Ben had gone out of town on Monday—to visit Johnny Carter. Lola had assumed he knew, since she was there to tell him not to pick Lexi up, Ben had called decided to stay longer. 

Callum spent all of Thursday at work trying not to breakdown in front of Jay. He had spent all of Wednesday night waiting for Ben to text him back but nothing. He waited on Thursday too, nothing. Callum had called twice, nothing. What he did get was pictures of Johnny and Ben out on the town that Jay tried to hide. After work he went home and went to bed. Trying to figure out what he had done to drive Ben away and into the waiting arms of Johnny Carter. Maybe he was too clingy too needy, Ben didn’t want the party but Callum had pushed and pushed forcing it on him. Had that been it, had that been when Ben decided he just couldn’t be with someone like Callum anymore. 

Looking around Callum wanted to cry again, but first he wanted to throw up. He didn’t know where it went all wrong. Looking down at his hand, was it the fight. Ben had been so angry with him, so hurt that Callum would be like this. Had seeing that side of him drove him to Johnny. Everyone was talking, they all knew Ben had left Callum. He could hear the whispers of “took longer than I thought” and “are we surprised he's a Mitchell” no matter where he went. Mick swore there had to be more to the story, but Linda confirmed Johnny wasn’t answering his phone either. 

“Bad day,” Ben sighed coming from the bedroom holding a pile of clothes and his book.

“What are you doing here,” Callum asked trying to keep his voice even but his eyes went to the clothes, the clothes he knew he kept in the closet. And the book, the book he read before bed. 

“What’s wrong,” Ben asked softly taking in Callum’s cold exterior and stern voice.

“You are not serious right now,” Callum snapped at him forgetting about being objective. Ben took a step back at how much anger was directed at him. “You run off without even a text to party with your ex." Callum started, his voice getting louder. "Ignore me for five days, then walk in here and ask me what is wrong?”

“Callum,” Ben said going to touch him to have Callum move out of his way, then shove him away.

“NO!” Callum yelled. Ben’s eyes went wide at how furious and broken his voice sounded. Callum closed his eyes willing the tears to not fall, not in front of Ben. He didn't want to give him that, Ben wouldn't get that from him. “You could have at least given me the respect I deserve and broken up with me before…” Callum stopped his voice breaking as tears start to fall, he wasn't able to do this. “I’ll pack up Lexi stuff, just go.”

Ben watched as Callum tearfully ran off slamming the door to the point the entire flat shook. He couldn’t believe what had just happened, of everything he expected this hadn’t been it. He didn’t think that Callum would think this. Ben was literally frozen. He didn’t know if he should come back later to fix this after letting Callum calm down or if he should just ignore what his mind is saying and fix this now. Callum was beyond angry, the harsh cold tone of voice was something he had never experienced. Ben felt every fiber of the anger and resentment that Callum was feeling in that moment. He felt his broken heart, he felt his betrayal, he felt it all in just that one word. The way he was looking at him tore Ben apart. The idea of walking in that door right now made him uneasy, but the idea of leaving made him physically ill. 

Ben had woken up on Monday to Callum laughing and Lexi giggling, and he felt good. In that moment he saw multiple mornings like this, like he wanted to ask Lola if Lexi could stay over on more school nights. Then he saw Lexi growing bigger in this flat, he saw the room changing as she grew older. Then visions of them getting a bigger place as he could see Lexi and Callum running outside with a dog. That's when Ben felt like he was having a panic attack, because he couldn’t do this. Sitting up in the bed he forced himself to calm down, but accepted it. He wasn’t meant to be happy, people like him didn't deserve it. 

After he dropped Lexi off, he ran as fast as he could out of Walford. He ran right into the waiting arms of Pam Coker, who had spent the last four days smacking some sense into him—quite literally. Putting the clothes down on the table he sucked in a deep breath. He had no idea why Callum had just assumed he was with Johnny. He knew Johnny was a little bit of a trigger for him, and he didn’t help with the jokes he made. Callum had asked him to stop but Johnny was well he was Johnny. Ben had asked him to cut it off too, but Johnny wasn’t here to see the pain he was causing. They’d bump into more than one of his former hookups, and he knew despite what Ben said Callum compared himself to them. He truly wanted Callum to see himself through Ben's eyes, wanted him to see how much Ben wanted him. 

Ben was going to kill Johnny. There on social media were some old photos of them, that Ben had told him to not add without telling him. Yet he did, and Johnny also did not mention in the post these photos were from over a year ago. Ben was going to kill him. 

Opening the door slowly, Ben poked his head inside to see Callum on the floor legs to his chest, trying to force himself into as much of a ball as he could be. He could hear the whimper sounds, and Ben wanted to throw up. He did not miss that he had throw a few items around, Ben's items. He counted himself lucky, there were no holes in the walls, nothing was broken, and no sign of blood anywhere. Walking inside he did so slowly, he didn’t want Callum to be startled. The last thing he wanted was to come face to face with combat trained Callum Highway. People here didn't realize how deadly Callum truly was. 

Callum looked up, his normally bright blue eyes were lifeless. Those eyes were red, puffy and glistening with unshed tears. His cheeks were flushed, his nose red and looking raw while his lips were puffy from where he had obviously been biting them hard. Though his hands weren’t busted up again, they were red, so he clearly hit something. Or it could be from rubbing, Callum had this habit of something rubbing his knuckles harshly when he was angry. He looked so broken right now, Ben hated he was the cause. Hated that his fear of finally being happy drove him to running so fast that he probably ruined the only good thing in his life.

“Did I do something wrong,” Callum asked weakly, because he had been trying to figure out what he did. What had happened that made Ben not want him anymore. 

“You’re perfect,” Ben told him smiling gently as he walked towards him.

“So perfect you run off to Johnny,” Callum snipped looking away from him, his anger coming back.

“I wasn’t with Johnny,” Ben swore not moving past standing next to the dresser, breaking at the framed picture of Callum Lola and Lexi making faces. “I went to see Pam.”

“Pam Coker,” Callum questioned looking up at Ben confused, Ben nodded. “Is she okay?”

“I freaked out,” Ben admitted eyes going back to that photo, then back to Callum who now looked all worried, but his face was still cold.

“So, breaking up...” Callum grumbled trying to understand but it wasn’t connecting.

“I don’t want to breakup,” Ben told him walking towards him slowly, bumping him to move his arms so he could slide down Callum’s body.

Callum wanted to deny him, Ben just upped and left for five days without one word. Part of him was screaming not to believed him, that this could be a trick. But Callum knew deep inside that Ben wouldn’t lie to him. If Ben said he ran off to Pam Coker because he had a momentary freak out, then he ran off to Pam Coker. What did that mean, he freaked out? What did Callum do to cause him to freak out? Because Ben didn't just have a normal freak out. No, he told Lola he was running off to his former hook up and then refused to answer any of Callum’s messages for days. He hadn’t even called Lexi. 

Callum rolled his eyes as Ben let out a pout moving his arms away, so Ben could slide down Callum’s body. Ben’s knees on each side of his hips, their faces were right in front of each other. Callum’s hands automatically when to Ben’s hips as Ben’s head leaned forward to Callum’s shoulder. Ben took in Callum’s scene, he missed this. He missed having Callum all around him, he missed how their bodies just melded into each other. It was like they were pieces to a puzzle and they fit together perfectly. He hated how each night he was away he had nightmares, because he knew Callum wasn’t sleeping. He knew he was lying away in what had become their bed miserable and alone. 

Ben hummed as Callum’s hands moved up to touch skin, as his titled his head just enough to kiss his cheek. Ben hated himself. Here he had put Callum through hell, and Callum was comforting him for reasons unknown to Ben. He just wanted Callum around him he wanted to tell Callum the truth. That caring for Callum was easy, probably the easiest thing he’s ever done in his life. Ben smiled as he felt small kisses on his face, Ben couldn’t help the sigh that left his lips. Opening his eyes lifting his head he pressed a kiss to Callum’s lips feeling his hands go straight to cup Callum’s face. As they pulled away, he watched Callum lean into his touch.

“I felt guilty,” Ben whispered needing this closeness to Callum to do this, needed how he felt safe and protected when Callum was wrapped around him. “I thought Paul was the literal embodiment of everything good and pure in this world. He didn’t know how to hate or be cruel…and he died while I lived.”

“Chris died on the mission he took...after I told him I was engaged to Whitney,” Callum told Ben, watching Ben’s eye go wide. Callum had never told him that, had never told anyone that. “He could have walked away, but he took one more mission…because of me.”

“Is that what you dream about,” Ben asked softly like everything came together, watching Callum’s face break a little. Ben’s thumbs wiping away the tears he shed because of Ben, because Ben couldn’t just be happy. Why couldn't he just accept the idea that he could be truly happy, no strings attached? 

“Sometimes,” Callum confessed his hands rubbing into Ben’s warm flesh, he didn’t want to talk about the other times. The times it took him back to places he didn’t want to be, places like his childhood.

"I don't know why I can't just accept this," Ben admitted pressing their foreheads together, moaning as Callum's hands rubbed just hard enough as his lips coaxed a kiss from Ben.

"I'll never expect more than you want to give me Ben," Callum said leaning forward to connect their lips again, he felt and tasted Ben's tears. "If you need a break from me..." Ben quieted him up by pressing their lips together again, swallowing Callum words. How could Callum think he was the issue, it was Ben? Ben wanted needed him to understand this. 

“I am truly sorry,” Ben told him softly, Callum knew he was. Could see the hurt, the anguish in his eyes, could see Ben was just clueless. It didn't make the hurt sting any less but at least Callum knew Ben hadn't known how much hurt he had been inflicting on Callum these past five days.

“I thought I lost you,” Callum mumbled his voice raw, Ben wrapped his arms around Callum crushing their lips together. "I can't lose you Ben."

The time for words were over, Ben needed Callum. He needed to know that he didn't ruin this, that he did not destroy the one good thing in his life. He would do anything Callum asked tonight. He would give Callum anything he wanted just as long as he didn't lose him. Just as long as Callum didn't stop believing in him. The idea that Callum thought him capable of turning to someone else broke Ben in a way no words could ever describe. 

Moving up Callum went with him both of undressing each other, they just needed to feel skin on skin. Climbing in the bed Ben closed his eyes as Callum's scent surrounded him, he missed this. It had only been five days but it felt like an eternity. He missed how cool the sheets felt against his skin, how the mattress welcomed him in. He missed how Callum's body just melted into his. He missed his lips, his hands, Callum's entire being. The days he spent with Pam and Les, he spent thinking about Callum. Craving him in a way he hadn't anyone else. Pan knew it too, caught him looking outside like Callum would just appear. Called him on it too, then when he'd like she'd smacked him upside his head with that look. 

Ben closed his eyes as Callum's mouth was on his skin, kissing and tasting him like only Callum could do. Kissing from his knee down his thigh to his hips, moving over to take his semi-soft cock into his mouth. Both of them moaning as Callum took most of him tonight, Ben's hands going into his hair. "So good baby," Ben praised not missing Callum's low moan. Moving up he sucked on the head, Ben petting his head giving him words of encouragement. He still hadn't had a chance to fully uncover Callum's praise kink, but Ben knew he had one.

Callum felt good, like he felt good all over, Ben's soft words made him head spin and his body tingle. "That's it, so good, you are doing so good," Ben gasp massaging Call's scalp as he watched Callum tonight, he didn't usually. Ben watched as Callum took all of him slowly, "That's it, god Callum you look perfect." Moving back up his cock, then moving back down again Ben felt wrecked. He was forcing himself not to come right now. Seeing Callum deep throat him, feeling his warm mouth wrap around him, the filthy moans as his cock stretched Callum's throat were driving Ben over the edge. But tonight was about Callum, he needed Callum to feel good to feel wanted.

"Come here" Ben begged tugging at Callum hair, needing his lips on Callum's, he needed Callum's body around his. Rolling them over so Callum was on his back Ben saw he was hard, he wanted to scream in triumph but now wasn't the time. Instead he grabbed the lube and condom from the drawer, he wanted to ride Callum. It was torture not to take his cock into his mouth, but he wanted to taste it. He wanted Callum in his mouth coming down his throat but tonight wasn't about him. Tonight he needed to show Callum what he couldn't say, not yet. 

Callum's hands went straight for Ben's hips as he began to move down on him slowly, Ben wanted no needed to savor this moment. The burn was what he had been craving, closing his eyes as moved slowly. Taking Callum with no prep was not something he did on a regular basis, or at all. Callum was always scare Ben would get hurt. Ben needed this, he needed to remind himself that Callum was his. He needed his body to remember for days that he belong to Callum. Callum was in awe watching Ben on top of him, his eyes closed his head titled back as he fucked himself on his cock. It was truly a sight to behold, and he needed this too. Needed to know that Ben wanted him. 

Slowly Callum was shifting his body so he was sitting, loving how Ben's already erratic breathing changed as Callum went deeper inside of him. They liked this position. Maybe because it reminded them of their first time, maybe because Ben lost his need for controller faster in this position. Leaning forward Callum connected their lips moving his hands through Ben's hair as Callum bit down on Ben's lower lip as Ben kept his slow movements. Few knew this but Ben loved having his hair played with, though Ben swore it was only when Callum did it. His fingers were magic. Callum started to guide him up and down as Ben's movements started to falter, he was losing himself. Callum loved when Ben lost himself, because Ben needed to be in control. Callum knew maybe only Paul had seen this side of him. 

Callum smiled as one hand gripped Ben's hips gently as Callum increased the speed of the movements, his lips going to suck at Ben's collarbone as his other hand lightly messaged the head of Ben's cock. Ben's nails went to his back because Callum was still going slow. Then he got what he needed, "Callum" Ben begged his teeth sinking into skin. Callum took pity on Ben moving him to his back. Callum was now in full control, he began fucking Ben hard, shifting the angel just enough. Every time Callum hit the right spot he'd also bite down on flesh. Both knew Ben was going to have to wear a shirt for a few days, because his chest was going to be all marked up. "Please," Ben pleaded as Callum slowed down again. Callum laughed biting down on his neck lightly. "No touching yourself," Callum ordered against his ear.

Spreading Ben wide, tossing his legs over his shoulders Callum moved at a relentless rate, Ben's hands twisting in the sheets. Callum leaned forward biting down on Ben's left nipple then biting down on his right one. "YES" Ben cried as the sting tingled throughout his body while Callum's thrust went harder, faster. Callused hands grabbing Ben's ankles being Ben in half striking just the right angle once, two, a third, and when he hit the spot a fourth time Ben screamed out nonsense twisting the sheets so hard they ripped. Callum didn't stop though. No, he fucked Ben through his orgasm prolonging it, finally letting himself go over the edge when Ben went all soft and limp around him. Falling on top of Ben all sweated and feeling high. 

"Ben," Callum mumbled into his skin sometime later.

"I'll buy us new sheets tomorrow," Ben promised petting his soaked hair, smiling as Callum rubbed his face into Ben's skin. Then hissed a moaned as Callum's lips started to kiss lower.

XOXO

Ben decided that Callum and Johnny needed to talk, he needed Callum to see that Johnny was not a threat. Before his…episode…Callum would get this look on his face when someone mentioned Johnny’s name now he froze, and Ben didn’t know how to fix this. Callum admitted that until Johnny posted those photos, he never even thought of Ben running off to be with someone else, he trusted Ben with his whole heart. That was when Ben had decided that he would call Johnny, so that when he comes back in a few days to spend Christmas here in Walford they could all talk. Get everything out in the open, maybe then the jokes would stop. Everyone agreed that would be the best course of action, everyone but Callum. 

Ben tried to see his point. He was trying to be understanding and sympathetic. Callum's only ex was Whitney, and Ben knew their relationship while good in some areas wasn't good sexually. It was doomed, Callum was gay and Whitney was not a bloke. Callum had to deal with men coming up all the time hitting on Ben daily or men that would bring up their past hookups. He knew it hurt Callum, despite the way he would laugh it off. They’d touch Ben’s arm or leg, and he would literally feel Callum struggle to stay composed. 

It especially didn't help that Ben still refuses to even discuss Callum bottoming. That was probably what hurt Callum the most. So the idea of him sitting across from Johnny, someone he knew, someone he thought of like family. Johnny who liked to make jokes and remarks when Callum near, like to hint that Johnny knew Ben better. With the knowledge that he got a part of Ben that he still refuses to even consider sharing with Callum wasn't something he could do. 

"Ben, we have literally had this conversation a dozen time, and I am done having it," Callum hissed feeling too open and raw to go here again. "I understand your reasoning, it's logical and practical and you have every right to say no and I respect that. If you never want to then we won't, it’s that simple." Callum's voice was breaking and Ben had no idea what to do. He had no idea how to make this better. "But I need you to understand my point…please. Johnny has a part of you I don't, and that hurts...more than I thought it would. So please do not make me sit through another conversation where I get to listen to him state _again_ that you two are just mates."

"Again," Ben questioned confused, Johnny had never mentioned he and Callum spoke.

"After Lee told him we were together, he called to make sure I knew it was all in the past you two were just good mates having a good time," Callum grumbled his voice mimicking Johnny’s slamming stuff around, Ben could little see and feel the venom in his tone. "But that doesn't justify his remarks and jokes every time he calls knowing I am in the room." Callum snapped raising his hand angrily, like he wanted Ben to disagree with him. "I swear to god Ben if you say that's just Johnny being Johnny, I am throwing this bowl at your head."

"What can I do to make this better," Ben asked wishing he could shut his brain off and give Callum what he desires but every time he thought about it he had a panic attack.

"Nothing," Callum whispered tearfully, Ben could feel his heartbreak from here and it was agony. Knowing how much he was hurting someone who meant so much to him. "I'll be fine Ben. You have every right to say no, and I don't want you to do anything because you feel like you have to or that you'll lose me if you don't. I don't want that."

"I just feel like I am letting you down," Ben admitted softly looking away. Callum sucked in a deep breath, put everything down walked over to him, cupping Ben's face so he would look at him.

"You aren't," Callum promised leaning down to kiss him gently. 

"I'll talk to Johnny again about the jokes," Ben sighed leaning up to kiss him. "You are right you've asked him to stop, and he should."

"I need to get dinner on," Callum smiled, but Ben noticed the smile didn't reach his eyes. It tore at his heart, why couldn’t he just give this to Callum. "I promised Lexi we'd make brownies when she got here."

Ben didn't know why he was scared to top for Callum, he truly didn't. He’s top for countless men many he could barely remember the name of. He's fingered Callum a few times, even watched from the doorway once when Callum was using a vibrator on himself. That was a crazy night. The physical fear of hurting him was gone, but whenever he thought "tonight is the night." He started to have problems breathings, his stomach rejected whatever was in there, and he spent the next hour trying to calm his body down. Why with Callum, was the idea of being a top so terrifying. 

He didn't want Callum to think less of himself, Ben already knew he did. Callum claimed he didn't but Ben knew that he thought Ben’s inability to give him this was his fault. Probably blames himself, thinking he wasn't good enough because Callum always blames himself. No matter that this wasn’t anyone real fault, Callum would place the blame on his shoulders. Ben had been back a few days now from his trip to Pam's, and thankfully Pam called Jay and confirmed that he had been there. It had helped ease some of the local gossip. Lola was still furious with him. Now people wondered how long before Ben left Callum because he wasn't over Paul, and never would be. 

Walking down the street Ben needed to know why he couldn't give Callum this, why he couldn't just let go of the past. Was Jay right, was it Paul? Paul was a bottom; he'd top every now and then when Ben asked him to. But he wasn't ashamed to say he preferred to bottom. Jay's idea was that in Ben's subconscious mind, he could do this because it was his way of keeping Paul with him but still allowing himself to have Callum too. Paul hadn’t been anywhere nearly as good as Callum at topping. Ben would top from the bottom, and Paul liked that. Maybe Jay was right? Could it be because once he gave Callum this, Paul would be gone? That would be it. Callum would own every single part of him, and that truly meant Paul was gone. 

"Callum isn't here," Mick told Ben from behind the bar.

"I know," Ben sighed rubbing his eyes looking around making sure Whitney was here. "I am actually here to see you or Linda."

"Where you have us both love," Linda smiled coming from behind him, Ben gave a nervous laugh.

"Is everything okay," Mick asked eyes going sharp, as Ben's appearance told him this wasn't exactly going to be good news.

"It's Johnny," Ben admitted watching Linda go confused. "Whenever he knows Callum is around he makes these jokes and remarks regarding me. Callum has asked him to stop, and so have but..."

"But he hasn't," Linda stated looking at Mick with a sharp look. "You said you’d mention it.” Linda groaned annoyed Mick opened his mouth to say something but Linda waved his off. “I told you that was why Callum hasn’t come to dinner in weeks."

"I am going to speak with him while he visits," Mick swore to her, but she glared at him walking off mumbling words Ben couldn’t make out. Mick groaned then looked at Ben apologetic. " I know this has been a hard transition on Callum. Knowing your partner has been with others is one thing, it being someone you've know all your life is quite different."

"Doesn't help I keep messing up," Ben mumbled falling in the chair, Mick looked at him confused. "I ran off to Pam's."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Mick told him, watched Ben just shake his head in disbelief. "The way you lost Paul was unimaginable, no one deserves that, you don't just get over something like that because it's been a few years. Callum understands that, he respects what Paul was to you."

Ben wished he understood just how much those words sliced his heart open. Callum did understand, when Ben gets back to the flat Callum would be a total mess. He was more and likely there right now beating himself up, feeling like he was demanding something from Ben he had no right to. Like asking for what he desires is wrong, but it wasn’t. Callum didn’t understand how all this affects Ben. He just knew that Ben didn’t want to top yet, he had no real idea why. He had no way of knowing how it caused Ben to go in a pure panic. How Ben's body would start to shake uncontrollably causing him to vomit and dry heave. If he did, Callum would never bring it up again, he would bury that desire away forever, and that haunted Ben the most. 

Ben knew he had every right to say no, and Callum was trying to respect his decision, he just didn’t understand where Ben was coming from. He didn’t understand and Ben wasn’t telling him. One because he didn’t want to hurt Callum. If this was because of Paul, what would that do to Callum. How did you tell someone who looked at you the way Callum looked at him, who believed in you the way Callum believed in him, who thought so highly of you, that there may be a chance you are still holding on to your former lover? How did he tell Callum he couldn’t give him this simple thing that he so carelessly gave to so many other blokes because by doing so he gave the last bit of Paul away? 

"There's something Callum wants to do, and well I think I keep saying no because maybe I'm still hanging on to Paul," Ben started trying to find a delicate way to say this, because he needed someone to talk to. Someone who wasn't Paul's grandparents, someone who actually came from a stable relationship. "It's really important to him and it's hurting him a lot, and I want to but I can't seem to..."

"Let go," Mick guessed with a deep sigh watching Ben nod. Ben's face looked so open, so broken, it wasn't something Mick saw all the time. "Ben can I say something completely honest with you." Ben gave him his classic smirk but nodded. "Maybe the reason you can't do whatever it is Callum wants, that you also want isn't because you don't want to let go of Paul, but maybe...just maybe it's because you do want to let go of him and that terrifies you."

XOXO

Callum gave Lexi a kiss on the top of her head smiling as he twisted the bottom of the snow globe, watching her smile sleepily as the music softly began to fill the room. Linda had called him earlier her voice sounded as confused as Callum felt after her words left her mouth. Mick and Ben were going on a little errand together. She had no idea how long it would take or where they went just that Ben probably wouldn’t be done by dinner time. Callum didn’t know what to make of that, Ben had been acting so weird since he returned. 

After ending the phone call, Callum looked over at Lexi who was finishing her schoolwork. She gave her classic shrug, that despite what Jay thinks she got from her father, when he let her know Ben would be back late tonight. Soon Callum was checking her work while she waited excitedly looking over at the game she wanted to play. He laughed at her dramatic groaned, also a Ben Mitchell trait when he told her after dinner. Soon she was helping him clean up and setting the table for their dinner. 

Closing her door, Callum would agree the rest of the night went by very normally. Lexi played her game until it was time for her shower, then slipped into bed for a story. She conned Callum into an extra one, then half asleep pointed to the snow globe that had somehow become hers. Linda didn’t mind, none of their children really took to it and Lexi’s eyes just lit up each time she looked at it. Rubbing his eyes Callum cleaned up waiting for Ben to come home. Praying to whoever would listen that he didn't wake up Lexi. Dealing with drunk Ben would be annoying but dealing with drunk Ben and a cranky seven-year-old would be an absolute nightmare.

“Ben it is 7:24 in the morning,” Callum grumbled rubbing his eyes as Ben stumbled into the flat, Callum moved his head hoping Lexi didn’t wake up yet. “Where did Mick take you?”

“I slept at his place,” Ben mumbled, he felt drained and dizzy, maybe he should have listened to Linda and slept longer. The whole place was spinning so fast, he felt like he was on a boat. 

“You what now,” Callum said, he knew his face showed his utter confusions. Then he took in Ben’s appearance; face was pale, hands were shaking to where he was leaning against the wall for support. Callum was going to kill Mick. “How much did you two drink last night?”

“We went to see Paul,” Ben slurred closing his eyes, so many flashes of faces and voices. “He took me to say my final goodbye.”

“Why don’t we get you to bed,” Callum replied softly walking towards him his annoyance melting away as Ben's unsteady glazed over eyes met his. 

“Lexi,” Ben mumbled looking at her door, for a moment Callum thought she woke up but realized Ben remembered they all had plans today.

“I’ll take her out for breakfast why you get some extra sleep,” Callum told him walking him to their room slowly, as Ben gave him a nod. Callum undressed him like he had so many times in the past almost three months, pulling the coves back helping him slide in before tucking him in. “We’ll come back in a couple hours, and spend the day introducing you to the wonderful world of Marvel.”

“I know Marvel,” Ben grumbled rubbing his face into the pillow, god Callum loved him sleepy he was just too adorable.

“Babe, you know Chris Hemsworth,” Callum shot back then laughed as Ben shrugged, kissing the back of his head Callum turned shutting the curtains giving Ben the darkness he craved for sleep. 

Ben opened his eyes slowly moving his arm over groaning as he didn’t feel Callum next to him, not only did he not feel him he could tell he hadn’t been in the bed for a while. Ben felt achy, and despite the fact he had been sleeping he felt this pure exhaustion deep in his bones. Looking to the side he saw it was barely after 9:30am. He wanted to lift his body up, wanted to roll over but he didn’t feel like he had the energy to even do that. The room was dark and quiet, the blankets were warm and smelled so good. If he closed his eyes, he could drift off asleep again, so that’s exactly what Ben did. 

Sometime later Ben let out a groan again as he went for Callum again, but his side was still empty and cold. Luckily this time though Ben had the energy to lift himself up just enough to roll over on his back. The room was dark and cool still, so that much time couldn’t have passed. Rubbing his eyes Ben grunted as he forced himself to sit up, he felt like he could sleep for longer but Callum should be home soon. More and likely Lexi talked him into taking the longer way back home. He felt bad for not coming home last night. He would probably feel more regret but he could barely remember what exactly happened last night. 

Ben looked at the clock then did a double take when he saw the time, going for his glasses thinking maybe it was his eyesight nope it was well after 6:40pm. He also realized that he didn’t have his hearing aid or contacts in, and there were no calls from Callum on his phone. Slipping out of the bed he grabs a pair of joggers and a t-shirt opening the curtains to see the sun light going dull over Walford, proving it was in fact almost seven. Had he really just slept the entire day away. Lexi was going to be so upset with him, he had promised her they’d go to the park today.

Walking out of the bedroom he sighed as the first moment of being able to hear everything hit him. After all these years you’d think he’d be used to it, but sometimes it still seemed like a little miracle just for him. Though in all honesty the true miracles was the fact Lexi didn’t inherit his deafness. Ben stopped after looking around twice, there was no note, there was no sign that they had even been back since this morning. He vaguely remembers something about movies and Chris Hemsworth. Where were they? 

Suddenly the door swings opens, Ben watched as Callum walks in carrying a passed out seven-year-old in his arms. God if that just wasn't a sight.

"I’m liking this side of you,” Ben smile looking Callum up and down before Callum could give a greeting. Callum smiles warmly at him.

“Close the door while I get her in bed,” Callum laughed nothing bother to care as he literally dropped all the bags except for like two he was carrying. Not that Ben blames him, Lexi wasn’t exactly light anymore. Fifteen minutes later he emerged from her room, as the soft sound of music begun to play. As Callum shut her door Ben just couldn't believe how she'd taken to that globe. 

“Pretty sure we could get her nothing for Christmas and she’d be happy if we let her keep that thing out all year,” Ben laughed shaking his head as Callum falls next to him. “Don’t think I didn’t see what she was clinging to, you promised no more stuffed animals.”

“That wasn’t a stuff animal,” Callum argued with a smile, the type of mischievous smile that told Ben Callum was about to recite a loophole. “That was a _plush_ Miles Morales figure that she got at the comic store.”

“Why on earth would you take her there,” Ben asked his face crinkling up, Ben did not understand Callum’s love for comics or graphic novels.

“After we finished watching Into the Spiderverse, she wanted to know more about his character,” Callum started rubbing his palms on his legs looking up at Ben who now was giving him the “what did you do” look he gets. “So, I may have bought her a small...complete volume of his origin story.”

“Callum,” Ben laughed leaning his head back, now knowing what was in the bags he didn’t drop with the others.

Ben wanted to be mad at him he really did but he found it more amusing than he did anything else. Soon Callum was going off on their day together. How he took her to a new café that was a little farther out, but Lexi had love it. She had ordered stuffed French toast with chocolate milk. Callum went on about how big her eyes got when she saw the strawberries and powder sugar on top. Then how shocked and happy she was to find the filling was chocolate. The waitress gave her a Santa sugar cookie. Once they got back, they decided to let him sleep after making him take his contacts out. Mainly because Lexi had climbed in bed with him and he barely even stirred. Ben had no memory of this. 

Callum then turned to look at Ben trying to set this up so Ben could see his point, and not the fact he was spoiling her--again. Callum went on about how Lexi wanted to see Spiderman, but they’re still like four movies away from Homecoming. So he opted for Into The Spiderverse, which she loved. How Callum thought a trip out would be good, give Ben some extra sleep time and them some fresh air. While there she charmed everyone, the owner gave her the plush Miles to go with her new comics. Even wrote down a few series that she may enjoy that are age appropriate. 

Callum started to ramble on about pizza, comics, and something about Lexi wanting to dress up. Ben was more interested in the way Callum was getting so excited. The fact that he got to share this with Lexi, that she didn’t think it was boring but cool made Callum and Ben both feel good. Ben leaning his head back watching Callum’s hands move as he went on and on about this storyline that Lexi found fascinating. Then he talked about going to the park, how she saw some kid from her class. Ben watched Callum get even more excited when he told Ben how the girl, her name was Josey, started to read the comics too. According to Josey’s mom she doesn’t make friends easily, they just moved here from Ireland. But here they were reading them together, talking.

Ben couldn’t fault Callum, and since he didn’t come home last night, he figured he let him off the hook--mostly.

“Let me get this straight,” Ben sighed trying not to laugh, because honestly this entire tale is so Callum. “You take Lexi out for a quick trip to a comic store and end up hosting a Spiderman storytelling hour at the park, that’s more like two hours then agree to do it again soon.”

“Basically,” Callum whispered laughing as Ben started to laugh leaning his head against Callum’s shoulder.

Ben wanted them to talk, they needed to talk but not right now. Right now he wants to curl up against Callum, wants to feel his hand in his hair and just watching a stupid movie he'll probably hate. They had all the time in the world to talk, and they will talk. Ben needed to tell Callum the truth about his panic attacks. Then he needed to tell him why he had been having the panic attacks. They then needed to have a real conversation about Ben topping some time soon. He wanted to experience that with Callum, he wanted that more than he realized until last night. He wanted Callum in every way he could think of, but that was for when his daughter wasn't in the next room sleeping soundly. 

Ben's head went to Callum's lap groaning as he takes his glasses off while Callum flicked through to select a movie, Ben didn't pay attention. In all honestly he didn't care about the movie, he only cared about Callum touching him. His eyes closed the moment Callum started to massage and scarp his scalp. Ben felt like the tension of the past week just melted away with each movements of Callum's strong mystical fingers. After Lola picks up Lexi they'll talk. They'll talk about the major thing Ben didn't want to talk about up until now, the thing that caused him to run to Pam Coker. Was Ben living here? Ben knew he was, or at least he felt like he was. Callum was his home in a way he never had a home before.

Today proved that Callum was the person he trusted most, the person he loved most. Ben knew he wasn't ready to say those words not just yet but soon. He could show Callum how much he loved him in other ways though. Tomorrow they'll have a real conversation, no more hiding behind the past. Tilting his head up opening his eyes, he closed them again as Callum leaned down to kiss him gently. Callum laughed as they heard a knock on the door, Ben laughed when Callum groans when the knock grew louder.

Callum hissed as he stands up, this time the knock so loud he can almost see it shaking the door. He snaps that he is coming then looks towards Lexi door making sure he didn't wake her. Internally swearing that if they wake her up, he didn't care who they are, they are dead. Callum thought in the Army he had dealt with men and women at their worse, they'd gone days to weeks to months will little to no sleep. Yet none of those soldiers had anything on one Lexi Pearce when she was woken up. The knocking began again even harder.

"I said I was..." Callum begins to hiss then stopped dead in his tracks as he swung the door opened. His eyes going wide for just a moment until he attempts to slam the door shut only for them to stop it with a bitter laugh. Callum squares off his face. "I don't want you here!"

"Callum who is it," Ben asked putting his glasses back on his face as he walks towards the front door, he didn't like that tone. Callum never used that tone.

"My mother," Callum stated like ice, watching Ben's eyes go wide as he's suddenly face to face with one Elenore Highway. 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Phil and Callum thing, got several that commented on it. Phil will not be redeemed, I mean come on now he's Phil Mitchell. If it made you feel weird and uncomfortable, good that was kind of my point lol it's was never about him accepting Ben is gay. I don't think that will ever happen. 
> 
> Johnny is not going to be an issue, Jacey was really worried. Johnny is just Callum's insecurities coming out, so do not fear. I like Johnny, and I like his friendship with Ben. Callum is jealous and being an adorable baby gay.


	7. Elenore Highway Equals Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum's mom is in town and causes a lot of trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's one more chapter, because Chapter 7 was 18,000+ words, and Jacey thought too much was happening at once. So I found a good place to end Chapter 7, and then did a little editing and rewriting to some of Chapter 7. I just submitted the now Chapter 8, that I half way rewrote, for beta reading. It'll be out soon, she's going to try to do it over the weekend. After reading the new last chapter she was right. Te extra and rewritten scenes gave it a better flow, it no feel rushed at some of the parts I hated. 
> 
> She wanted me to warn you all there's quite a bit of emotionally hurt-Callum. I got emotional writing some of these parts, but I think or hoped it fueled those scenes. 
> 
> Hugs and Kisses to everyone who comments or leaves kudos, you are truly wonderful beings. 
> 
> Jacey my love, thank you. This story wouldn't exist if not for you.

**Love Hopeful: Elenore Highway Equals Heartbreak**

Elenore had been fourteen when she met Jonno, he was everything she wasn’t supposed to want but she did. She swore that no matter what he would be hers, and he was. Two years later she found herself sixteen and pregnant, then weeks later she found herself married tot eh brute, and then she found herself bored. Every day was the same thing, she quickly grew tired of this mundane way of life. The simple life of being a wife and mother wasn’t for someone like her. She deserved better, she was special. She deserved a life of adventure, she deserved to be loved, to be worshiped. She deserved more than just washing clothes cleaning house, and making a meal or two for two grateful rats. 

Callum was nine when she left for good, everyone thought she’d come back like she always did, Jonno did. They all waited, but as the weeks turned to months, and the months turn to a year than two years they had to accept the truth. She wasn't coming home this time. She had finally found where she belonged, and it wasn’t with them. 

Callum could still remember how Linda would scream and yell at Mick the moment he tried to defend her or make some point. There was a history between them, which Callum always found weird. Linda was literally old enough to be her daughter. Yet the moment someone so much as uttered her name Linda would lose her cool. As Callum grew older, Linda’s distain turned to anger, and then her anger turn to pure hate. Callum’s heart just broke each time she’d come back to him. Each time he held onto the hope that maybe this was the time she’d stay, maybe this time he wouldn't ruin it. She never did.

“What is this,” Elenore asked looking up and down not liking the look of Ben.

“My boyfriend,” Callum snapped at her, his voice pure ice laced with venom. Ben watched her eyes go wide as she looked at Ben again then at Callum then back to Ben. “I said I don’t want you here mother.”

“Does Jonno know about him,” Elenore asked ignoring him pushing her way inside of the flat, Ben giving her a stoned look going into Mitchell mode.

“I may be partially deaf but pretty sure I just heard Callum tell you _to leave_,” Ben hissed getting louder and harsher on the last two words. As Elenore turned to him her mouth opening a small creek sound came into the room, Lexi’s door was opening.

“Callum,” Lexi whined rubbing her eyes as he clung to her new plush toy, she smiled when she saw Ben. “Daddy.”

“Hey sweetheart,” Callum forced a smile as Ben walked over to her picking her up, smiling as she automatically cuddled into him. Despite the situation around them Callum took a moment to relish how much sleepy Lexi was like sleepy Ben. “We didn’t wake you did we.” Callum asked then smiled as she shook her head no into Ben's shoulder. Callum looked over to Elenore who was a mix of shocked and horrified. Callum looked at Ben, a mock of a smile on his face. “Why don’t you go tell Ms. Spider-Lex here the next part of your story while I deal with…this.”

Lexi gigged as Callum tickled her sides as he spoke, Ben nodding at him as his eyes went to Elenore who looked at him with as much hate as he expected. But it wasn’t because he was male, Ben knew that. No, there was something else in her look, jealousy possibly. Or maybe she figured out he was a Mitchell. Ben looked a lot like his father did younger, so it wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume that. Callum had no idea but Phil had mentioned he knew of Jonno and Elenore Highway. Apparently, some mates of his had dealings with them, and it never went well. Elenore was known for her schemes, mainly because she never kept her word. If turning her back on her partners got her more money, then she’d do it.

Callum kissed the top of Lexi’s head, Elenore saw him whisper something in her hear that got a nod from her. He looked good, better than good actually, she hadn’t ever seen him look or act so in control. Gone were the oversized clothes that just swallow him up whole. Callum was in a nice pair of jeans with no socks or shoes, the jeans were a darker color but faded. The royal blue jumper molded to his body shape perfectly, was obviously not as worn as the jeans. Look new actually. As Ben turned to leave Elenore saw the small child eye her curiously but never asked any questions.

Elenore looked aged, that was the only way Callum could say it. Her once dirty blonde hair was now grey, cut short. Her face that once look timeless despite the life she choose to live looked worn and wrinkled. It was clear she wasn’t wearing makeup or maybe she was. He wouldn’t put it past her to make herself look frail to win points, to gain sympathy. Her eyes that always held such sadness now looked dull and lifeless. Callum took a step towards her, she still wore the same perfume. Part of him wanted to smile but that scent, that overly sweet sugar scent made him sick to his stomach. She was either running a scam or trying to pull a string or two on his heart. Everything about her was projecting how old and fragile she wanted to appear to him, but he was immune to her tricks now. 

“Got yourself a new family,” Elenore stated overdramatically not hiding her bitterness, wanting to make sure her hurt was clear. “That you can’t even call back your own mother back.”

“You don’t want to go there with me,” Callum hissed whispering his tone ice, his eyes dark watching her look at him, he saw the act fade as she exhaled a breath. He takes a step closer to her his eyes dead set on hers, he wasn’t doing this not with Lexi here. “I want you to leave Lee out of whatever it is you are trying to pull. The Carters are good people, they don’t need your type of trouble, and neither do I.”

“He didn’t give it to you did he,” Elenore said softly, then looked down at her hands then back up to her son. “What I sent him? He never told you?”

“The only thing I want from you is to be left alone,” Callum snapped, because it was the truth. He was finally happy, or at least on his way to being happy. He had a life—a family here, and he didn’t want any of that to change. He didn't want to lose this. 

“Not until you know the truth,” Elenore snapped. If there was one thing, she knew it was how to read people, and right now wasn’t the time. Her face softened, Callum knew right then she was in face running a scam. “I’ll be in town for awhile, ask Lee what I sent him...or I may just have to give Mickey a visit.”

Then just like that she was walking out the door, and Callum thought he would happy she was finally going, but it broke him. In that moment he was six waiting in the snow for her to come home. She didn’t for two weeks, smelling of cheap beer and even cheaper cologne. He was nine years old holding on to the hope week after week until finally on his eleventh birthday he gave up that hope. He was nineteen waking up to see she took his money, or the time she almost got him arrested at twenty-three. He still owed Sammy for that one. It all came back to him like a tidal wave. Each time she came into his life, each time he held onto the hope; only to be left broke and brokenhearted.

Maybe it was why he wanted Jonno to want him so bad. Why he tried so hard to please him. To want Jonno to look at him with want and pride like he had with Stuart. Sure, his father was a lot of things but at least he kept Callum. At least he didn’t just leave in the middle of the night never to be seen again. Only to pop up every few years when they needed money or self-validation. Callum walked towards the door shutting it with a bang forcing the tears away. She didn’t deserve them, she didn’t deserve anything when it came to him. 

Turning around he heard Lexi giggle, forcing a smile on his face he walked to her room. Peaked his head inside as he watched Ben tell her his story, watched as she slowly closed her eyes to open them again. She wasn’t really listening to the story anymore just the sound of Ben’s voice. Her eyes were now closed, Callum felt all the anger he had just melt away. As he watched Ben slip out of her bed, Callum gave a laugh when Lexi grunted sleepily poking her head up. Ben didn’t understand until Callum walked in the room to lift the snow globe. Soon the music filled the room, Ben gave a deep sighed shaking his head but said nothing.

Callum wasn’t angry anymore, he just felt sick. Linda always called his mother a few choice words, some of them were just not things he would expect her to say. He personally felt like his mother was a beautifully colors but venomous snake, and he had just been bitten by her--again. At first, he was angry. Angry that he didn’t see or realizes she was looming getting ready for the attack, because he should know the signs by now. Now the bite had settled, the venom in his system was slowly shutting down his will. His stomach hurt, he felt woozy, his vision was blurry, he knew his hands were shaking. Soon the headache would start, then the breathing issues. His mother had this way of causing his body to just shut down.

Callum wanted everyone and everything to just go away. Then he could curl up in his bed and forget about this. Closing Lexi’s door, he walked towards the kitchen placing his hands on the counter and dropped his head forwards. He was willing his body to stop reacting like this. He wasn’t a child anymore; he didn’t need her or Jonno. He didn’t need her to love him or want him, he didn’t need for her to just once act like his mother. Gripping the counter tightly he started to work on his breathing. Callum stiffened then relaxed as he felt Ben wrap his arms around his waist rubbing his face into the middle of Callum’s back. Soon holding Callum tighter as his cheek pressed into that spot. Ben held back his own tears as he felt as well as heard Callum start to cry. 

“Come on baby,” Ben whispered into the fabric on his jumper, Callum made no move. Ben didn’t let go of him, he just held on to him until Callum pushed away from the counter turned around falling against it. Ben still didn’t let go of him. He had never seen Callum looked so lost, so broken. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

Ben took him to the bathroom, where he stripped him of his clothes. Ben wiped away the tears, forcing Callum to look at him. He was trying to hold on to his emotions again, and last time that ended bad. Callum was trying to be what he thought strong was, what Jonno made him think strong was. He was trying to show himself his mother had no power over him, not anymore--and he was failing. Ben started the shower, turned the water on hot then pushed Callum inside. Ben rubbed his back as Callum started to let the cries out, realizing the falling water silenced his sounds. Kissing him back he were in the similar position as the kitchen until Callum's hands were fist. Until he punches the wall, not enough to break but enough he felt it. Ben took his hands before he could do it again kissing the red knuckles. Ben kissed him until his anger faded away.

Ben grabbed their body soap and began washed Callum, until normally he went slow massaging away the knots. His mother had ruined his amazing day with Lexi, and Ben hated her more for that than anything. Lexi had gone on and on for a bit about how much fun she had. Her eyes sparkled at her new plushie, and that Callum promised to make Spiderman cupcakes next time she had to bring some to school. Now here Callum was in the shower, under water that was just on the edge of too hot so he would feel something. 

Ben smiled weakly as Callum kissed him softly, hands cupping his face, eyes shining bright. Moving his own hands up he grabbed the shampoo. Callum first washed Ben's hair, then his own. Mimicking Ben by going just a little slower than normal. Ben closed his eyes, he loved when Callum played with his hair or massaged his scalp. There was something relaxing and oddly intimate about it. Plus this was their thing. Ben washed their bodies and Callum washed their hair. Ben tried to wash his hair once, it ended up with them in fits of laugh with Ben trying to reach. Callum lifted him up laughing into their kiss, but it quickly shifted. So they came to this agreement. Ben washed their bodies, and Callum washes their hair. Both knowing if they didn't they'll never be on time for anything.

Slipping out of the shower Ben dried them off, Callum had relaxed but Ben knew his mind was still plagued. Walking to the bedroom, Ben was wrapped in his robe. He went to Lexi's room to check on her, she was fast asleep. He watched her for a moment, it making more sense now why Callum did what he did for Lexi. Baking cookies just because she wanted to, letting himself be talked into just one more game, always telling Ben just read her the extra story. Like Ben knew Callum childhood was rough, but until tonight he hadn't realize to what level. 

Walking in the room Callum turned him around kissing him hard, he needing to feel something tonight. Ben shoved him down on the bed, tossing his robe away going straight for Callum's cock. Callum needed him tonight, Callum needed to forget about everything. Lucky for him Ben was an expert on using sex to forget or delay your life's problems. He almost considered asking Callum to let him top, but quickly pushed that idea aside. He didn't want that experiences tainted for either of them, and he certainly didn't want it when Lexi was here. He wanted Callum to be able to feel it openly and freely. He wanted Callum to know that when Ben slips inside of him it about him and how Ben feels for him nothing else. 

He pulls Callum into sitting position, attacks his mouth as he grabs both of their cocks. Callum moans into his mouth, Ben was using the warming lube. Callum had accidently bought it, and Ben had told him it could be good like really good but intense if used properly. So Ben put it aside for another time. Ben was moving his hand up and down their cock slowly, slower than he ever had before. His thumb coming to massage Callum's head until Callum finally bite into Ben's shoulder. Ragged nails clawed Ben's back as Callum's hips tried to get more frictions. "You are doing so good baby," Ben told him, making Callum moan just a little louder. "Shh, have to be quiet." Ben reminded him nipping at the spot under his ear, then sucking a light mark there. Ben rarely got to be the one in control, Callum was such a natural that Ben fell into the submissive role easily. 

Callum was hot all over, he needed more than Ben was giving him, he was so close he could almost taste it then Ben stopped. "oh my god," Callum gasped into Ben skin as he slipped one finger inside of him. "Be good for me and stay still....that's it" Ben whispered in his ear smiling when Callum stopped moving his hips, but he did let out a grunt of frustration. Callum took Ben's mouth into a filthy bruising kiss, his tongue battling Ben's. Callum needed something, he didn't know exactly what he needed. He just knew a fire was starting to shoot up his back, and he needed more of what Ben was giving him. 

Cupping Ben's face he continued to devour his lips, biting down on Ben's bottom lip hard he got the moan out of Ben he wanted. Ben knew he was pushing him, he knew what to do to break Ben's restraints down. Sucked the sting away Ben couldn't deny him, not tonight. "Ben" Callum moaned into his mouth, large hands tugging at Ben's hair as he slipped a second finger inside of his now slick warmth. 

Pushing Callum back Ben moved his hands up placing a kiss on the less red knuckles, "headboard," Ben told him gently. He wasn't using the stern military tone Callum uses with him, mainly because he didn't think Callum would appreciate it, especially not tonight. Ben loved how low his voice got, how only he knew that voice. Callum had admitted he never got that way with Whitney. That Callum was all his, no one else got him only Ben did. Callum arched into his mouth as Ben bit down on his skin sucking marks as he explored lower. "Doing so good," Ben told him grinning as Callum let out a raspy moan. 

Kissing Callum's thighs, he moved his fingers in and out gently, Ben knew he was so close. They've only done this a couple times, and he never used more than two fingers. He lets Callum start to move his hips slowly. He wanted to prolong Callum's pleasure, wanted him to forget about his mother and the pain she brought him. Ben smiles as Callum bites into his own arm as Ben finds the bundle of nerves. Wasn't even trying but he did. Jesus the sound Callum lets out, a mix of his raspy moan and gasp that sounded more like a prayer to Ben. That sound will be a part of his memory forever. He had almost forgot Callum has never bottomed. It never hit him until this moment he's probably never felt that. Ben was the first, and only to know that sound too. 

"Please," Callum begs, voice low and slurred. Ben smiles slips his third finger inside of him slowly, watches his face with amazement. Callum had taken a vibrator twice anally and it's just slightly bigger than Ben's two fingers, just slightly. He hears as well as watches Callum intake of breath, his whimper of "yes" as Ben slides inside slow. Then slides out, then in again this time scissoring them apart slowly. Watches as Callum started to fuck himself on Ben's finger on pure instinct. If Callum knew what he was doing he'd die of embarrassment. Ben wants to stop him want to slow it down again but he can't. This was a sight to behold, something that he will cherish for weeks to come. Ben almost wants to find his past self and giving him a good beating, he could have had this weeks ago. 

Ben can't hold it in any he needs Callum in his mouth. Wrapping his mouth around Callum's cock tightly. Ben hums a moan as the sweet earthy taste fills his welcoming mouth. Callum started to thrust down his tight throat. Proving Callum was completely out of it. He was always careful about his thrusting, right now he is just moving trying to catch the high of blissful ecstasy. As Callum thrust move fast, Ben moves his fingers faster, every few thrust making sure to hit the bundle of nerves. He can tell by the muffled whimpers and cries spilling out of him he's biting into his arm again. Then Callum is coming with breathless cry, neither of them realizing it because soon Ben is on his back and Callum's mouth is on him.

Ben head is spinning, his throat his sore, his mouth taste like Callum, and his cock that is painfully hard is suddenly wrapped in velvet wet warmth. His thighs are being held apart by rough callused hand that will be leaving bruises. Ben looks down as Callum bobs his head up and down, like he just can't get enough. Ben knew if it wasn't for the fact he was coming off from making Callum come as hard as he did, he would have had more restraint but he didn't. Soon he was coming down Callum's throat biting his own lips to keep his cries quiet. Then he's tugging at Callum's fluffy hair because Callum is letting him slip out of his mouth very slowly, his tongue licking at the sensitive swollen head. Soon he's falling next to him, Ben covers them both. He holds Callum who tonight rest his head on Ben's chest, doesn't take much for sleep to claim him. Ben happily holds him, keeping his demons away.

XOXO

Ben woke up expecting to find a horribly depressed Callum, even despite how they ended the night. He woke up like he did almost a week before, to the sound of dishes banging and Lexi giggling. Slipping out of the bed he tossed on some of his clothing, not missing the new marks scattered all along his body. Callum had bitten down hard last night on his shoulder to keep the sounds from slipping out and waking Lexi. Ben considered it a win, normally Callum would barely let him touch him if Lexi was here.

Ben found it adorable, especially the horrified look Callum would get. Once Lexi started coming over on a regular basis Callum stopped any beginnings of sexy time on the couch. Now Ben did too. It grossed Ben out just as much as it did Callum to imagine Lexi sitting in the same exact spot they had had sex. Ben never thought about it until Callum did, his face all squished up in disgust as he looked down to where Lexi had been sitting earlier that day before Lola came to get her. Ben groaned crinkling his own face, Callum was turning him into a domestic. 

Walking out he saw Lexi all dressed sitting on the counter as Callum was putting what looked to be pins in her hair. Her hair was pulled up into a bun as she swung her legs playing with her new "plushie". The toy he was going to still give him grief about but now couldn’t. One because Lexi loved it so much, and it felt wrong with what he knew how. Lexi looked up smiling waving at Ben as he stepped out of the shadows. Callum gave him a happy nod as he sprayed hair spray on her head. Moments later hopping her down, having her twirl around so he could make sure it wouldn’t fall out. Then off she ran to finish watching whatever was playing on the television. 

“Lola is picking her up early,” Callum explained softly packing her hair items away in the bag Lola sent over with her. “Apparently my mother and Linda got into a physical fight last night.”

“Is Linda okay,” Ben asked going towards the coffee, then turning when Callum started laughing, Ben didn’t know why but he had a feeling he may want something stronger than a coffee.

“From what Whitney told me no one was seriously injured,” Callum stated, Ben couldn’t tell if he was happy or disappointed by that statement. “After Lola arrives, I’m going to go over there, see what exactly happened and how my brother is involved. Lee and Johnny are arriving later today too.”

It wasn’t that much later that Lola and Jay arrive to pick her up. As Jay and Ben are grabbing her things, Lola tells him what she knows. It wasn’t pretty. It looks like Linda may have attacked his mother, no one knows what the two had been talking about but then suddenly Elenore was on the ground. By the time Mick knew what was happening Whitney was pulling his wife off Elenore. Sharon helped Whitney get Linda upstairs while Mick got Elenore outside. Lola admitted she didn’t believe Elenore’s tears for a moment, her face looked broken but the eyes never lie. She did it on purpose. 

Callum nodded, his mother and Linda always had a violent history. No one knew why, Stuart never did, and Mick never mentioned if he did. Lola sighed rolling her eyes as Lexi showed her mother the comics Callum got her for and her new plushie. Callum stated once again it wasn't a stuffed animal, it is a plushed figure, Ben watched as Jay laughed then pretended it was a cough when Lola gave him a look. Callum helped carry her stuff downstairs kissing the top of her head, as he waved them on. He didn’t miss Stuart looking at him from across the street. 

Ben quickly got ready switching from glasses to his contacts, despite Callum desire for the opposite. Ben like his contacts, or he should say he liked the way people looked at him. When he wore his glasses people looked at him like he was still that kid. That kid who needed to be protected, the victim who couldn’t handle himself properly. When he wore his contacts he got the respect the glasses never got him. He knew Callum liked them, so he didn’t mind wearing them when it was just them. Callum never looked at him with anything but respect, but the others. Glasses were a handicap, and he wasn’t that kid anymore.

Walking down the street he wondered if Callum had something like that, something he changed about himself. Not because he had to but because it made him feel different. Without his glasses he felt like a new man, like he could do anything to anyone and never lose. He wondered if Callum had something about himself that made him feel small, weak. Ben looked over at him as Callum took his hand as they walked. He looked sad today, he was fine when Lexi was around but now the sadness was back. Ben couldn’t blame him his mother was stirring up old baggage, pouring salt into a now open wound. 

“How are you doing,” Linda asked the moment she saw Callum, hugging him tightly. Callum smile at her as he released her, opening his mouth to speak…

“He’d probably be better if someone wasn’t punching his mother,” Mick stated from the table giving Linda a pointed look.

“I could care less Mick,” Callum snapped everyone feeling as much as hearing the ice in his tone. “I’ve told you before, you may have some delusional way of seeing my mother, but I don’t. Maybe now she’ll leave.”

"She loves you Callum,” Mick told him sternly.

“She left me,” Callum yelled, Ben looked at Linda who frowned deeply closing her eyes as if in pain. “Multiples times never looking back until she needed money. She always leave Mick, and she’s never going to change...people like her don't change.”

“Do we know why she’s here now,” Ben asked softly, watching Callum fall in the seat, Linda coming over to him to hug him tightly giving a broken look to Mick. Ben knew in this moment they knew something.

“She told me she’s been trying to tell Callum something, she sent it to Lee hoping he’d have better luck,” Mick sighed rubbing his eyes, he felt so stuck in the middle. He knew Elenore had her faults, but he had to believe she was a good person.

“Why do you always defend her,” Callum asked, watching Mick look at him and feeling Linda release him. Ben knew something was shifting. “After every con and dirty scheme she’s pulled, after every time she’s lied, cheated, stolen, and nearly destroyed me. Why do you still think that she could be worth anything?”

“They were lovers,” Lee stated from the doorway, Mick looked up to his son who looked horrified. Ben’s eyes met Johnny’s who looked as down as Callum did, and as defeated. “She was the girl before mum, the older woman.”

Mick felt like he was going to be sick, only Linda and Elenore knew about this. It was years before Elenore knew that Linda knew because Mick kept it a close guarded secret. There wasn’t a boy around who didn’t have a crush on Elenore Highway. She had been perfect. Her wavy dirty blond hair, the way her smile would just light up a room. Mick had spent hours looking at her, she was everything anyone could ask for. Whenever she asked him to do something he would always do so with a smile. When she was crying because of Jonno he’d always bring her something to make her smile. She was the only person he let call him Mickey. 

It wasn't like it was some scandalous affair. It wasn't like they had been sneaking around for months, lying to everyone. It was before Linda, before he knew what love was. As a teenager you think you know, you think those butterflies are what matter. It had been a hot day, Stuart was out on a job with his father, and Mick came over to their house to help her out. He hadn’t meant for it to happen, neither had she. He had been a stupid teenager, and she was everything he thought he’d ever want. At that point in his life, she was literal perfection.

Or so he thought. Then Linda came into his life, she filled it with love and passion that just couldn’t compare. Not even to a teenage fantasy that for one moment was a reality. He told Linda about it, Linda’s dislike for her grew. No one else ever knew though, it was his secret, their secret. Mick felt like he was going to be sick. Looking up to see Linda’s angry face, to look at his sons who were utterly destroyed then to Callum who looked like he was seconds away from falling to pieces. He didn’t know what to say or to do.

“You told our sons about her,” Linda whispered shocked.

“Dad only stated before you he had a crush on someone older,” Lee explained weakly walking in, Johnny watching Callum as he paled, watched as he sucked in a breath like it hurt.

“More than a crush I’d say,” Ben mumbled, then turned red as all eyes went to him. “Sorry?”

“Callum,” Mick whispered watching Callum looked at him shattered. “You are right, I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to do something you may one day regret. She isn't perfect, but you do have a right to not want to see her.”

Ben didn’t know what to do right now, Callum looked utterly helpless. Seeing his mum last night gutted him in a way that Ben could almost understand. The moment he saw Kathy again, he felt so many emotions he couldn’t do anything but get sick. All he felt was this rotten feeling deep inside of him, nothing would stay down. Then he felt anger, he felt hate, and he wanted her to feel those things to. So he yelled and he screamed, he said things that he didn’t exactly want to. He just needed her to feel as horrible as rotten as he had.

But then she had made him feel more than he ever wanted. She had accepted him like it was the only thing she could do, like it didn’t matter. When she wrapped her arms around him, for the first time in years he felt safe. He felt the love of a parents. Only Callum wouldn’t be getting that. His father was honestly worse than Phil, and his mother was so vile Ben hoped he never saw her again. All she cared about was herself, and about what she wanted. She had just revealed a one night stand from almost thirty years ago because she knew it would hurt Callum. Maybe make him look at Mick differently.

Ben felt Johnny move next to him, looked up to see his mate look down at his boyfriend with such concern. Johnny was watching Callum closely, they all were. Mick going on about the past, and about how he saw Elenore. They could see Linda anger just boiling, she didn’t want to hear it. Ben looked up to see Lee, their eyes met, and Ben knew. This wasn’t the only thing that Elenore had told him, there was more. Ben felt it, he knew what was coming before it started. No wonder Lee was so scared to do this, Elenore Highway truly cared about no one but herself. He really hoped Linda got in a good hit.

“What’s in your hand,” Ben asked looking at Lee who had been playing with an envelope since he stormed in moments ago with Johnny.

“The letter Mrs. Highway sent me,” Lee answered holding it up, looking at Mick. “That included a paternity test.”

“What paternity test,” Linda asked her eyes going straight to Mick as she used the table to stand up.

“She wouldn’t,” Mick gasped closing his eyes suddenly feeling his entire world spin, then opening them to see Linda who was in near tears. Linda had been right. “Why?”

“What is going on,” Johnny demanded looking at Mick then Lee. “Why would Callum’s mum be sending Lee a paternity test.”

“Because there was a chance Callum was your dads,” Linda explained softly closing her eyes then opening them to look at Callum then Mick.

“She told me you weren’t, she swore that you were Jonno’s,” Mick cried feeling like he was going to be sick, he couldn't breathe. “Why would she lie?”

"I told you not to trust her," Linda screamed wiping the tears away, she had all but demanded one after she found out. But Mick swore she wouldn't like about this. 

“Wait,” Johnny yelled rubbing his face looking at Callum who was stunned, to his parents who were both crying, and Lee who was just angry. “Halfway…” Johnny hissed as Ben kicked him. “Callum is our brother?”

Mick felt himself be transported back to that day, back to the day he stood in a kitchen scared he was going to be father. Elenore had told him there was little chance it was his, but of course there was a chance. She had taken his hand told him it would be fine, she had been wonderful in that moment. She had told him not to worry about it. He believed her. How could it be that their one time together resulted in a child, the chances would be out of this world she had said. She hugged him tightly, told him to push it away, she'd take care of everything. He had other things to worry about, a new girl to woo, school, and a wonderful life to live. 

But it was there always, as Callum grew in her stomach, it was always there in the back of his mind. Then Callum was born, he had been so tiny, so utterly perfect. Stuart didn’t care much being a brother, but Mick couldn’t explain why. But he did, he always loved holding him. Then she gave him the news, Callum was Jonno’s. Mick was heartbroken for a moment, he guessed maybe a part of him wanted Callum to be his. Jonno was such a horrible man, such a cruel father that he didn’t want this baby to be connected to that. 

Mick opened his eyes to see Callum trying to calm his breathing, saw Lee just looking at Linda who looked just as shattered as he felt. Mick had put so much faith in Elenore over the years, why would she lie to him. Apart of Mick was angry, he had defended her, had endured so much pain for her. He had watched Callum suffered time and time again, in the belief that she did love him. In the belief that if life had kinder to her, she would be different. Mick believed that somewhere deep down, that the woman he saw as a young boy was the real her. 

“NO!” Callum said standing up wiping the tears away, Ben taking steps to him to have Callum hold his hands up. "NO!"

“Callum honey,” Linda said going for him, only to have him push her away with another no, Ben held his breath. "It'll be okay, we'll handle this." 

“This is what she does,” Callum yelled looking at Mick then Linda, he gave a bitter laugh. He almost fell for it, he almost let her do this again. “She wants to destroy your family, she’s always had it out for you. This is just another one of her scams.”

“Callum,” Mick told him softly looking at Linda then back at Callum, standing up himself to look at him. “You could be mine, that test right there, it could be the real one.”

“Explains why she let dad name you,” Lee stated groaning as Linda smacked him giving him a sharp look.

“So, get another one,” Johnny said watching Callum look at him, then looking at his parents. Linda gave him a nod to Mick, giving him a glare that told everyone Mick had no choice.

“I’ll get everything set up,” Mick told Callum patting him on his back guiding him to sit down. "More and likely you are right, she's just stirring up trouble...but maybe not."

“I don’t want anything to do with her,” Callum mumbled, Mick gave him a nod, Linda moved Mick out of the way hugging him again kissing the top of his head. ''

"Don't worry love," Linda whispered into his hair sweetly soothing him. "She's banned for life and once she sees it didn't work she'll go away." Callum nodded. 

“I guess, welcome to the family,” Johnny smiled patting Ben on the back softly laughing as Ben rolled his eyes.

XOXO

The whole process was simpler than Mick thought it would be, and he didn’t know if that made him feel better or worse. Mick starred at the phone on Monday until Linda made the call, got everything set up for that day. He and Callum didn’t need to go together. When Mick went there he was sick to his stomach, after all these years she pulls this now. All the times Callum stayed over, all the times Linda cleaned him up after one fight or another. All the times Lee hide him from Jonno because he was just a little too drunk that night. All the times Mick thought wouldn’t it have been better if he had been Callum’s father. Now he sat in a room to find out that maybe just maybe he was. He had decided to stay objective, go on like Callum wasn't, no need to break his heart a second time.

Elenore said nothing, she watched him lose his temper with a blank bored look on her face. She had nothing to say for herself. She claimed she did what she thought was right at the time. Mick had been so young, he had his entire life ahead of himself. She had been that age, she wanted more for him. She then threw out of course she didn’t know he’d have a child two years later with Linda. She had thought about telling him, but then she thought of Jonno. He would have taken it out on Callum, then there was Stuart. 

So she kept quiet. Linda of course reminded her of her leaving, of breaking his heart countless times. Why couldn't she have told them then. Elenore stood by that, claimed she raised Stuart it was Jonno turn. Like raising Callum was a punishment. It was why part of Mick knew, Callum wasn't his. Callum was right, this was just another scam. Linda cried. For the first time in his life Linda knew Mick was seeing the real Elenore Highway, not the image he had. The her he never allowed himself to see, because he still looked at her with the eyes of a love sick sixteen year old boy. It hurt more than she ever thought it would. She knew Mick was losing apart of himself, and that killed her. 

Ben went with Callum, held his hand and told him it would be okay as he struggle to keep it all inside. Callum kept telling him he was fine, he could do it this alone. Ben smiled kissed Callum's knuckles while telling him that he wanted to be there, he wanted Callum to rely on him. Got a laugh out of him when Ben reminded him if Mick was his father he just gained Shirley as a grandmother. Ben took Callum home afterwards sat through Star Trek--the old Star Trek. He didn’t know if Callum was laughing at the movie or the faces he was making during the movies. But Callum was laughing, so Ben considered that a win for today. Mick told them their test entered processing, and they’d mail the results to him within 1-3 weeks. Now all they could do is wait, and carry on like normal. Ben didn't like the dead tone Mick had.

XOXO

“Hard to believe Christmas is in two weeks,” Ben sighed sitting next to Callum on the couch, who looked up to look at him softly. “Wait, are there presents under the tree?”

“That’s where present usually go,” Callum laughed watching Ben go over there lifting one that held his name, then one that said Lexi. He lifted it eyeing Callum. “That one is nonrefundable.” Held up another one for Lexi, a bit larger and heavier. "That one too."

Ben could hear the humor in Callum’s voice, as Ben went to a third one with Lexi’s name in it. Ben saw Lola and Jay had presents as well, each saying “From Ben and Callum.” The tree looked the same as it always did, but for some reason it looked bigger right now. As Ben’s eyes scanned over the presents, he could imagine Lexi sitting right in front of it excited as they pass them along. Soon Ben saw wrapping paper strung all around the room, Lexi giggling as she helped them clean it up. She always wanted to keep it, make something new out of it instead of just tossing it. Ben knew Callum would do it too. Imagined some stupid project she's boost about to all her mates at school, winning Callum points as best stepdad. All the mum and teachers already loved him.

Looking to the wall there were now more pictures up, or maybe they were always there. He walked around to see ones of him and Jay when they were younger, but definitely not innocent. Life had never been kind to either of them, made them grow up too fast. But Callum understood that too. Ben wondered if that was why they were so protective of Lexi. They all wanted to preserve her innocence for as long as they could, give her what they never had. 

On the counter were Ben’s keys, Callum would complain later that they weren't in the key bowl. He saw him smile when he moved them there, he wasn't used to that. The paperwork Ben needed to do but wouldn't get to tonight was scattered on the table. His dirty mug from this morning in the sink. His favorite coffee had replaced what Callum had been drinking, but he wasn’t picky. Most morning he didn't drink it, Ben always made fun of him. After the amount of milk, flavored creamer and sugar he used Ben didn't see the point, it no longer tasted like coffee.

Looking over Callum was sitting on the couch in a pair of boxers and loose t-shirt, he had showered when he came home tonight. Ben had forgotten why something about a crying older woman and smelling like stale cotton candy and menthol. Ben had been on the phone with Tubbs at the time talking about a new deal. Right now Callum’s hair was lighter in colors, fluffy, moving every which way without the weight of the product he used. Ben stopped when he saw a photo of them on top other photos. The photos had come in from the party earlier this month.

Lexi looked like an angel. Someone snapped a photo of Lexi first look at that stupid snow globe she loved so much. Ben had to admit it was a truly magical sight, that moment. Lexi next to Callum, both of them holding it as her eyes looked at this simple object that had been bringing her so much joy. It was the perfect picture of her innocence, of Callum's pure heart, and Ben wanted it. He didn’t want anyone else to have it, he wanted it all for himself. 

Then he saw some silly photos, ones of Lola and Jay. One of Whitney in her own elf dress next to Lexi. Ones of the random people, Lexi with the other children, ones of Ben giving glares and then one of him covered in garland getting a kiss from Callum. Then he saw the family pictures, held up the one his father made them all do with Mick and Linda. All their smiles were genuine, the tree shining brightly in the back. He forgot Keanu took two of them, one with Lexi being held by Phil but he claimed Lexi moved too soon. So they snapped another one, this one with her in Callum’s arms. Both pictures looked fine to him, but he did preferred the second. Lexi and Callum looked so silly and perfect in their almost matching elf outfits.

“Do I live here,” Ben asked turning to look at Callum who looked taken back then baffled by the question. Ben felt stupid, why did he ask that out loud? “Never mind.” Ben mumbled turning away from Callum with a deep blush, of course he wasn’t. Callum wasn’t ready for that, not yet. Not after what was happening. " I’m being ridiculous.”

“I wouldn’t mind…if you wanted too... I mean officially,” Callum told him standing up walking towards him slowly. He wasn't doing this smoothly at all. “You already have a key, and you sleep here every night anyways.”

“Do you want me to leave,” Ben asked not quite sure how to take that remark, had he been pushing his limits. Did Callum need a break?

“Don’t be an idiot,” Callum remarked crinkling his face in annoyance, he wished Ben could be less of a Mitchell at time. “I mean...you sort of took most your stuff away…last week...after your little…trip.” Ben looked up to see Callum’s sadness, the hurt on his face. He knew Callum was waiting for him to leave, since Elenore he knew why. “Do you want to leave?”

“No,” Ben admitted looking down at his hand, the hand that held Paul’s name. Thinking of something Pam told him he might need to do, to let Paul go. To finally be free of the past. The past that sometimes he feels he was still tied to. “Do you think I should remove this?” holding up his hand.

“I would never ask you to do that,” Callum snapped insulted, taking a step back eyes wide. Callum didn't know how Ben could think he'd ever want that. 

“Pam mentioned it,” Ben explained sighing taking off his ring to look at the name, he hadn’t done this in so long. He felt so torn. “She thinks it might help...make things easier for us.”

Callum had nothing but respect for Pam Coker, and he assumed in her own way she was trying to help Ben move on. Jay had mentioned how for years now she had been wanting him to settle down and find someone. How it pained her to see Ben move from one meaningless fling to the next. Les too, they loved Ben like he was their own grandchild. So Callum had not misconception that Pam didn’t really want him to get rid of Paul's name. That in her mind she had been pushing Ben to see he could still hold Paul in his heart but also love Callum too. 

Ben did love him, Callum knew he did but he also knew Ben wasn’t one to be forced into anything. Ben Mitchell was like a storm. Callum could smell him coming, could see the signs but was powerless to do anything. You expected a little damage but when Ben was done you were a total wreck. Nothing was the same, nothing was salvageable but somehow after all the wreckage what gone through you found the real beauty within it all. Things you never realized could shine began to, and they shined brighter than the sun. 

Ben Mitchell was his perfect storm, and he loved everything about him.

“I need you to listen to me,” Callum ordered lifting his face so Ben's eyes were looking into Callum's. “That right there, is a testament of what you felt for one another, removing it isn’t going to make it suddenly less painful or real.” Callum softly told him taking Ben’s hand rubbing his thumb over Paul’s name, watching Ben close his eyes fighting the tears. “I love you Ben Mitchell.” Ben sucked in a deep breath, opening his eyes to see Callum’s own eyes so open and bright with all the emotions unspoken until now. “I love that after almost four years you still honor Paul’s memory every day, I love that Lexi is the most important thing in your life, that Jay and Lola happiness means as much as your own, that no matter how much Ian annoys you, you would still be by his side in a second. I love that you never allow anyone to make you feel ashamed for being who you were born to be.” Ben closed his eyes again, then opened them as Callum's hands cupped his face smiling down at Ben. “I love that you use way too much salt, you make inappropriate comments when you get nervous or can’t handle a situation, you don’t understand any of my references, but you try.” Ben looked down laughing softly as Callum used thumbs to wipe the few tears away from Ben's face. “I don’t think you should ever remove this. Paul will always be a part of you, just like you will always be a part of me.”

“Callum,” Ben whispered, wanting to say those words but all he could do was stutter his name again, Callum leans forward connecting lips gently tasting Ben's tears and feeling how much he was shaking.

“Don’t say it back,” Callum smiled, his voice stern but also gentle. Only Callum could manage that. Ben nodded softly unable to stop the tears, both of them knowing he wasn’t ready to verbalize what he felt for Callum--not yet anyways. Callum honestly expected Ben to either just yell it out during an argument or just say it during some ordinary mundane moment like he’s said it a million time before. “And for the record, yes you live here.”

XOXO

Callum groaned as he heard voices, very loud very obnoxious voices, tilting his head to the side he knew one of those voices were Lee's. Lee who could very well be his little brother, and the other voice was his other maybe little brother Johnny. Johnny who was also Ben’s mate, and previous one night stand. Callum spoke to Johnny after the Mick might be your dad ordeal. Well he basically in mild terms threatened him with great bodily harm if he didn’t knock off his Ben jokes. Linda laughed but did nothing to help him, Lee smirked sipping his pint, and Mick just shrugged patting him on the back walking off when Johnny looked to them for help. Tina smacked Johnny on the shoulder as she walked by, telling him those jokes just weren't funny, he could do better. 

Slipping out of bed he harshly pulled on his jogger from last night. Walking towards the door he imagined all the ways he wanted to kill his maybe little brothers for waking him up an hour before he had to be up for work. They may be up on vacation, but some of them still had work, and unfortunately he worked in an industry that didn't care about holidays. As they say death takes no holiday, and this included grieving old women. Old women who smelled horrible and felt the need to hug him for extended amounts of time while their children or grandchild talked business with Jay. He really did need to find a way to look less nice and comforting. 

“Callum,” Lee greeted waving, then laughed at his glare. Moved his head out of the way as he threw something at him. Callum was sure it was one of Lexi's little toys. “Late night?”

“By his back I’d so,” Johnny winked, then went wide eyes. “Damn.” He mumbled then laughed as Callum quickly turned from him forcing himself not to blush. Callum looked up at Johnny’s shocked face, like he was honestly shocked. Then Callum remember the marks on his chest. He ran back to the bedroom, as Johnny looked at Ben who shrugged with a smirk. 

“Why are you two here this early,” Callum hissed coming back in pulling on his t-shirt, Ben could tell he wasn't as annoyed as he was letting on. Callum liked people to know he and Ben had sex, it let them know Ben wouldn't be looking elsewhere anytime soon.

“Ben and I are going to breakfast,” Johnny explained smiling as Ben gave Callum a nod.

“And you couldn’t meet him there why,” Callum grumbled going over to the coffee, god he hated coffee but Ben had kept him up late.

“Callum.” Ben snipped giving him a stern look that had Callum giving Ben a dirty one right back. 

“Ben it's fine," Lee sighed, laughing when Ben shot him a glare. "Really this is how they are with each other,” Lee explained taking another sip of his coffee, seeing Ben giving him another look. “You should have been around when Johnny was like seven.” Lee offered remembering that horrible brawl, he thought Linda was going to kill them all. “Yeah that was fun...oh and by fun I mean it was a complete nightmare. I still have the scars on my leg.” Ben looked at Johnny and Callum who both look at him innocently and shrugged like they were clueless.

Thinking back Lee wondered how they never knew Callum wasn’t their older brother, he hated how Mick kept making them say maybe. He knew his dad was trying to protect himself from another heartache. Lee and Johnny had accepted the fact that Callum was Mick’s son, it made sense. Callum and Johnny look almost identical as babies, he even mentioned it to Linda. He assumed that was one of the times Linda told him to get his own paternity test, he didn't. He wondered if it was because he believed Elenore or if he was afraid of the truth. 

Then there was how they all acted, they always acted like more. It was like they were never just mates, from the moment Callum sat next to baby Lee they were connected. Callum had decided Lee was his, and he protected him until the day they switched and Lee protected Callum. Johnny and Callum battled, they fought, they had this way of just bringing out the worse in each other—like brothers. Johnny could push his buttons like no one else, and Callum was the only one who could get Johnny to just stop. How did they not see it?

Lee knew Callum was his brother. Whitney kept saying he just wanted it so bad that he wasn't looking at the possibly it could be a scam. Lee wanted that paper to tell them Lee’s one wish was true, Callum was theirs, he was a Carter. He didn’t belong to Jonno, he didn’t need to give Stuart all the chances in the world. He had three other brothers, and a sister who would love him, accept him. He didn’t need to hold out for Stuart to grow up, he didn’t need to defend him because that’s what brothers do. They didn't need to listen to how Stuart had protected him, when in reality Stuart had never done a thing for Callum. When it came out that Mick was his biological father, he could finally be free. 

“There was the time Johnny gave me a black eye,” Callum told Ben emotionlessly taking a drink of the coffee giving a disgusted look. Ben shooting a confused looked at Johnny, who glared at Callum.

“He sat on me,” Johnny hissed folding his arms like Lexi does when she's defending herself. Ben was getting a feeling that he was opening Pandora’s box. “Refused to let me up, even when I told him I couldn’t breathe.”

“You threw ice water on us,” Lee argued looking at Johnny, then at shoot a look to Ben who was opening his mouth to speak. “During a snowball fight…at night.”

“Should I put away the breakables,” Ben asked looking at them like they were all mental, then looked at Johnny and Callum waving his hands around. “You…both…just stop being…yeah.”

“I think you broke him,” Johnny whispered to Callum, Ben gave him a sharp glare then huffed when Callum nodded in agreement with a grin as he pushed the coffee aside. He couldn't drink this.

Walking towards the bedroom Ben almost felt like he should have Callum come with him. How did Mick and Linda put up with these three for so long, they could barely go one minute without arguing or pushing each other around. Linda had said they had Nancy, if she were here it wouldn't be so bad. Ben kept having these horrible visions of walking out to find the flat broke. He expected to hear a crash, or yelling, but nothing--honestly that scared him more. He peaked his head out to find Johnny and Callum still there, Lee must have left. Callum and Johnny were chatting normally, which Ben didn’t know if he liked or not. 

Maybe he just needed to get used to them together. He knew Callum, and he knew Johnny but he didn't know Callum and Johnny. It was also awkward for him because Callum was his boyfriend, who he now lived with. Johnny was most likely his brother, who he had a drunk one night stand with. Callum seemed over his jealousy, and Johnny had made it clear he was done with his little jokes. But Ben still felt weird, Jay swore that was normal. Jay admitted at times it is weird for him too, knowing Lola and Ben were together once even though it was one time and Ben is gay. 

Ben now had his contacts in and was buttoning up his shirt as he walked out of their bedroom. Johnny always gave him weird looks when he put his contacts in, he wasn't much a big fan of them. Felt Ben tried too hard to get people to see him differently. Johnny's looks weren’t like what Callum gave him though, with or without glasses. Callum desired him, Ben was sure he could seduce Callum with nothing on but his glasses. Ben liked that Callum wanted him no matter what he was wearing, that to Callum he was just Ben. That with one look, with one touch, Callum would happily slam him against the nearest wall or hard surface. 

Grabbing his leather jacket, he didn’t miss the flirty smile on Callum’s lips, didn’t miss the disgusted look on Johnny’s. Ben smiled as he leaned down to kiss Callum goodbye, not missing how Callum elbowed Johnny in the side as he made awe sounds. Ben had this feeling that something had happened while he was gone. He knew they talked, knew that Johnny saw Callum as is brother, but Ben couldn't put it into words. Something was different between them, or maybe once again he just needed to get to know Callum and Johnny together. He was thinking that because suddenly Johnny was pulling him along, grumbling about being hungry. Callum waved goodbye as he stood up to start his day. 

Callum's smile faltered, he wanted to be happy but until the results came back he felt lost. Shaking his head he decided to worry about that later, right now he had work. He had a loving wonderful boyfriend who didn't run for the hills when Callum confessed he loved him. His best mate was back in town until January, hell he was even happy to have Johnny here. He could do this, Elenore wasn't going to break him this time. He was better than her, he was stronger, braver then he was in the past. This time he would win.

TBC


	8. Death by…Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Callum first Christmas season is an emotional mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be adding the final chapter some point tomorrow or Sunday. I split chapter eight up as somewhat half way down it shifted, and I didn't like the flow. This started off as five chapters, and ended up being nine lol. 
> 
> THANK YOU! Comments and Kudos give us authors life, it really helps in those moments of struggle. And I had a few writing this chapter. 
> 
> Jacey you are a beautiful soul!

**Love Hopeful: Death by...Christmas**

Ben did not want to go out tonight which honestly was saying something, but he felt like since Hurricane Elenore swept through their flat all that time ago he had barely had any time alone with Callum. Callum was trying his best to avoid Mick, as Mick was trying his best to stay _objective_ about this whole situation. But his objectiveness had basically put him in a bad place with Lee and Johnny, angered Linda, and emotionally destroyed Callum. Callum was acting like it was okay, that it didn’t hurt that Mick was acting so cold towards him, but Ben knew him better than that. 

So here they stood walking towards E20 hand in hand days before Christmas Eve, looking at everyone walk around as snow gently fell from the sky. Kathy had Lexi tonight since Ian took Bobby out of town for a few days before the rush of Christmas started. Lexi had taken the official news of Ben living with Callum better than expected, but mainly because she adored Callum. It was still hard on her though, she wanted both her parents all the time. Ben would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt him as well. Luckily it had been a quick decision who got her Christmas.

Jay was taking Lola away for Valentine’s Day, for an entire week, so before Ben could even bring up Christmas Lola beat him. Callum agreed he didn’t mind spending their first Valentine’s Day in. Ben told her she didn’t have to bribe them with Christmas. That was when Callum did what Callum does now and stops Ben from being Ben. He came up with the idea of switching off every other year, this year they’d get her Christmas, while having New Year’s Eve out, and Valentine’s Day in but next year Lola would get her Christmas and so forth. Everyone agreed that was the best logical choice. Sometimes Callum was amazed at how good Lola and Ben were at being coparents, no matter what Lexi always came first. 

“Why couldn’t we just stay home,” Ben groaned with a pout. They finally had the flat to themselves tonight and it felt like he hadn’t had Callum to himself for months with Lee and Lexi always demanding Callum’s attention. He loved that Lexi and Callum got along, but he was edging on being jealous.

“Because you promised we would come out tonight,” Callum reminded pushing Ben inside E20, giving Johnny and Lee a wave.

“That was before Johnny invited half the square,” Ben grumbled looking over at Whitney next to Lee, while Jay came back with drinks for him and Lola. He stopped turned to Callum horrified. “Are we on like a couple’s date? We’re too young to be one of those couples.”

“Johnny doesn’t have a date,” Callum reminded him walking to the bar, not missing the way Whitney was looking at him. His mother had paid her a visit, and from what he knew it hadn’t been pleasant. “Let’s enjoy being out, before Lexi take over our flat tomorrow and we’re listening to five different remixes of Frosty the Snowman.” Ben frown then grinned as Callum pulled him close connecting their mouths hard, moaning as he coaxed Ben’s mouth open.

“Enough of that,” Jay snipped suddenly next to them, smacking Ben hard when they ignore him. “I am being serious you two, there’s something very weird going on here tonight.”

“This place in general,” Callum asked rubbing Ben’s back until his hand was underneath the black shirt he was wearing as Callum leaned his chin on Ben’s shoulder. “Or the table we are about to join?”

“Can you two not keep your hands off each other for five minutes,” Jay grumbled seeing Callum’s hand resting under Ben’s shirt on his hip as he sent a look over to Lola who was chatting with Whitney about something. “There’s a weird energy.”

“I’ll go see what’s going on,” Callum groaned smiling as Ben shivered as he kissed his neck while giving his skin a little pinch.

Lee watched Callum and Ben walk in, smiled as Callum gave a wave to Johnny and himself. Lee smiled faded as Whitney watched Callum and Ben, she then looked up at him giving her best smile, but it was clear it was false. He was sure this was hard on her. It’s not every day the man you think you are going to spend the rest of your life with turns out to be gay and then ends up with a Mitchell. Elenore had made it clear that her son being gay was Whitney’s fault. Lee watched them walk to order drinks Callum’s hand never leaving Ben. Watched as they gazed at each other until Callum was pulling Ben in for a kiss, a not so innocent kiss. 

Lola giggled as Callum was being pressed into the bar, they noticed how all the woman around smiled and signed happily. He heard more than he saw Jay groan, then began to walk up to them. He watched Jay say something his posture tense, then watched him smack Ben’s arm annoyed until they parted. Watched as Ben turned to talk to him face showed an amused annoyance. Lee then watched as Callum’s hand slip under his shirt as Ben leaned back into Callum’s embrace. Watched Ben smile as Callum said something leaning his chin was Ben’s shoulder, his other hand resting on Ben’s thigh. Didn’t miss how Callum’s hand never left Ben’s bare hips, he couldn’t see it but it was clear Callum’s fingers were moving. No one could miss just how flushed Ben was getting, then watched Ben give a shiver as Callum kissed his neck. All while Jay seemed to not notice any of this.

Callum had changed so much. The Callum he grew up with would never be this open about his affections, or his desires. Wouldn’t walk away so smoothly that the person he had his attention on looked like he was wrecked. At least not without bumping into every person near him, but now he didn’t. Callum was still unaware of the attention he got from people. He missed how the eyes followed him. Some of the men looking at Ben with envy and jealousy, there was no mistaking that they belonged to each other. Callum let off such raw energy now. He saw a few females look at him with longing, they had no idea who he was, but they wanted him. Lola stood up giving him a hug as he sweetly kissed her cheek before taking a seat. 

“What have you done,” Callum asked Johnny blankly, that Lee couldn’t help but laugh. Johnny looked at him innocently giving a shrug, but the blush was there. “Jay says there’s a weird energy here, so I ask again, what have you done?”

“I haven’t done a thing,” Johnny swore sweetly his eyes looking at Lee for help, who was also giving Johnny a disbelieving look.

“Johnny,” Callum stated eyes sharp until Johnny slouched with a huff, Lee turned to look at his brother.

“Jay might have mentioned he’s never had a problem with blokes hitting on him when he goes to a gay club,” Johnny started Callum and Lee both closed their eyes knowing where this was going. “I innocently ask, totally out of curiosity if he goes to gay clubs often…”

“You hit on my boyfriend,” Lola laughed looking over at Jay who was talking to Ben, who looked like he was dying of hysterical laughter.

“I didn’t mean it to come out as a pickup line,” Johnny told them watching as everyone started laughing. Ben still laughing rubbing his hand on Callum’s shoulder, who does not seem as amused.

“I get that I kind of flipped your brother, but why not leave mine alone, yeah.” Ben laughed then stopped as Callum stiffened, then got up excusing himself.

“Why do you always do this to him,” Lola snapped at Ben going to stand up, but Lee stopped them both looking at Johnny.

“It wasn’t the joke,” Lee promised Ben who nodded, Johnny was already standing up making his way out.

“We’ll sort this, mate,” Johnny told Ben patting him on the back. Ben wanted to argue, the voice inside his head told him to but he also knew this was something Lee and Johnny had to do.

Lee knew their dad had not meant anything harsh by the way he had been acting, this was all hard on him as it was hard on Callum. Lee and Johnny thought of Callum as their brother already, if it came back as true then it was confirming how they felt. That the boy who they grew up with, the boy they shared so many good memories with was their big brother. That how they always felt like Callum belonged with them, with their family, and not with Stuart or Jonno made sense.

To Mick this was more. This was the fact that someone Mick had trusted, someone Mick had defended to hundreds of people, she had betrayed him in a way that can’t be put into words. She had of her own free will kept his child from him. Not only had she kept Callum from him, but she allowed him to be a part of Mick’s life. She allowed Mick to know him, love him, and cry for him every time Jonno or Stuart hurt him. She left their son in the care of a man who was cruel and vile, a man that Mick had hated most his life. So, he needed to not see Callum as his right now, he needed to wait until they got the results or Mick would lose it.

To Linda, to Lee and Johnny Mick was being just as cruel as Jonno. Callum wasn’t asking for anything, but to keep hearing him say, “he’s not your brother yet,” hurt beyond what they could say. To have Lee and Johnny so ready to call him brother, to have Linda so happy to welcome him despite what hurt this may cause her. To have all that, but not the man you want to welcome you hurt Callum. He claimed it didn’t, he claimed he understood, Mick had a lot to think about. But Mick also noticed Callum hadn’t been back to The Vic. When he stated he wondered why Callum hasn’t dropped in it was Johnny who shot him a humorless laughed before snapping “I wonder why,” then walking away.

“I’m sorry,” Ben mumbled wrapping his arms around Callum’s waist leaning his head into Callum’s chest.

“This isn’t your fault,” Callum assured trying to force a smile on his face, but it was clear at least to Ben Callum had been crying.

“Come on lovebirds,” Johnny smiled patting Callum on the back, giving Ben his best goofy grin, Ben wondered how he didn’t see it before. “Mum wants us to drop in, or we can go somewhere else. I can tell her…”

“The Vic is fine,” Callum told them, Johnny looked at Ben who looked at Lee coming up. “I can’t just avoid him until we know for sure now can I.”

“Why not,” Johnny asked, Lee laughed while Callum just rolled his eyes giving him a look. “I’ve been doing a pretty good job at it.”

“No,” Callum said but his smile now was true, and Ben feels him relax. “I understand, he doesn’t want to believe my mother could do this. That someone he…she meant a lot to him.”

“The Vic it is,” Lee stated softly, but Ben knew that Lee didn’t want to go, nor did Johnny. 

Going back to the table, everyone acted like it was nothing like they were just off talking for a bit. They finished their drinks, Ben staying close to Callum. Callum and Ben knew this wasn’t about Mick not wanting Callum as his son. Hell, Mick had treated him like one of his own all of Callum’s life. Like Callum stated this was about his mother. Callum didn’t know if it had been love or what a teenager thought was love. But Mick gave a special part of himself to her, something he had treasured. He had trusted her, and right now he was finding that trust meant nothing.

Callum understood in a way. Whitney was special to him she was his first. He did love her, she was an amazing person, caring, strong, and one day he knew she would meet someone who would give her what she truly deserved. Callum honestly didn’t know how he would handle if Whitney was like his mother. Almost thirty years later he found out a child he cared for like his own already, a child he was told was not his was in fact his. He couldn’t say he would handle it any better than Mick was, no one could.

To top it off Mick had a wife and other children he needed to think about. He had a business, and a life that he needed to consider. Callum wasn’t a fool there was a part of him that knew Mick might not want him as his son. He already had three. Callum understood this was a lot for Mick, it wasn’t fair to think that he would want Callum just because he always treated him like family. There was a difference in seeing someone like family and them being family. Mick had to think about Stuart and Jonno, their reaction wouldn’t be good. So Callum understood, Mick had every right to not want him. But it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt, the idea of no one wanting him.

“We can go home,” Ben whispered in Callum’s ear as he sat on the stool, Callum looked over at him giving him a smile, leaning over to kiss him.

“Here you go,” Linda smiled, happy to see Callum back. She didn’t miss how Ben’s eyes went to Mick who was coming over.

“Good evening boys,” Mick greeted trying his best to smile, but it faltered as Callum looked at him devasted before walking away with his pint. “Callum.” Mick didn’t miss how Lee and Johnny’s face hardened, Ben sat down as Linda stormed away from him.

“He doesn’t think you want him,” Ben sighed going for his pint watching Mick’s face drop, Ben held up his hand. “First Elenore, then Jonno and Stuart, followed by Chris, then me, and now you. We’ve all made him think he’s easy to just walk away from. He thinks it’s his fault, that if he was better….” Ben watched Mick face shattered, Ben looked down at his hands. “I got scared and I ran, but I came back, he says he forgives me that he understands but I can’t help but wonder if maybe he’s still waiting for me to leave again…like Elenore.”

Ben moved the rest of his stuff into the flat, watched as Callum happily helped him put his stuff away. Ben couldn’t help but feel like Callum was watching him in a daze, like he could not believe this was happening. It wasn’t until a little bit later he realized Callum didn’t. Ben talked to him about it, and he knew Callum said he understood. That Callum knew he just needed to process his feelings. He even believed that Callum believed that, but sometimes Callum’s actions spoke louder than his words.

Elenore had left him more time than anyone could count, she always came back until she didn’t. Elenore hadn’t loved Callum enough to stay and be his mother, she left him easily each time. Jonno wasn’t any better, always making sure Callum knew how worthless he was, how he was the reason Elenore left. They had been happy until he came along. Chris never loved him enough to fight for him; instead of saying what he felt he just hide behind his missions his work. Ben knew at time he made Callum feel like he was settling, if Paul was alive, he’d never have noticed him.

Callum was perfect. Chris had been right, Callum just expects people to be as honest and true as he is. Ben doesn’t know another person who would do what he had done for Lexi, a child who isn’t his. He spent hours making her a fairy costume, then even more to be an elf. Watching dozens of tutorials so her hair would look just right. Stayed up until 2am making cupcakes because Ben forgot it was her turn to bring snacks. Went to nine different stores on his day off to get a specific pair of gloves, because she and Josey wanted the same pair but not the same color. Not feeling bad or expecting Ben to say I love you back, even though he wanted him to. He knew Ben needed more time. 

Callum was outside, he needed air. Whitney didn’t come with them she apparently had a date at E20. Once she told Lee it all made sense why she had been acting so weird, looking around. He and Callum had thought maybe she was having seasonal depression. People get weird about the holidays, feeling lonely. Callum knew a few in the Army that during the holidays they had to be dating someone, claimed it was desperate looking to go to parties alone. He had honestly thought maybe she was feeling more of the heartache now then she had weeks before. He was glad to see that was not the case. He wanted Whitney to find love again, he wanted someone to want her the way he wanted Ben. 

“I haven’t been handling this well,” Mick sighed coming to stand next to Callum, who didn’t look at him. “I need you to know this has nothing to do with you.”

“You don’t need to do this,” Callum mumbled attempting to hold in the tears, making sure not to look at Mick. He didn’t need Mick’s pity. “I’m fine.”

“I’m trying here,” Mick sighed not knowing what to do, what to say to make this better. He never meant to hurt Callum, to make him feel like this. That was the last thing he wanted to do, but his mind was all jumbled, he felt like no matter what he was failing.

“I don’t want your pity,” Callum snapped looking at him finally, Mick felt himself break. “Why do you always think I need to be saved? I’ve taken care of myself just fine the past almost twenty-nine years. I don’t need you.” Callum yelled his voice cracking, Mick felt like someone hit him in the gut. He hadn’t realized just how much he hurt Callum until this moment. “And I don’t need her!” Mick’s eyes went to Elenore who was watching, a strange look on her face.

The moment Mick’s eyes went to Callum, he wasn’t looking at Callum Highway anymore. Well not the adult twenty-nine-year-old Callum Highway that was just here moments ago. Not the Callum that worked as an undertaker. Not the Callum Highway that stood proud that he was gay and had learned to accept that part of himself. Nor the Callum who starred down a gunman in this very pub, holding Ben close as he bleed out on the floor. No this wasn’t the Callum who had spent over ten years with the Army. That had won the respect of Phil Mitchell. 

No this wasn’t that Callum at all, this was the Callum Mick knew from a long time ago. The little boy who got smacked by Jonno for crying when he fell off his bike, even though it was too big for him. The little boy who got told over and over boy don’t cry, they man up and move on. This was the little boy who starred out the window praying that his mum came home for his tenth birthday because that’s what mum do. This was the little boy that Linda rocked. He was the broken little boy that no one wanted, the little boy that always got left behind. 

Mick broke. Callum demanded respect, he was gentle and kind but sometimes even he forgot how much respect his aura brought. He pulled Callum forward into a hug, fighting him as he fought Mick until he couldn’t anymore. Until not only the last few weeks came out but also the lifetime of abuse. The years of believing he wasn’t good. That there must be something wrong with him to have so many people just be able to walk away from. Mick close his eyes not wanting to look at the face of the woman he once held so much respect for. 

Ben stopped Lee from going forward as Callum fought Mick, shook his head no. This was something they needed to do, this was something that needed to be handled between Mick and Callum. Ben looked up to see Elenore looking at them, her face was unreadable. Linda walked out pushing her son and Ben aside, and Ben knew what this was. Linda had always suspected Callum was Mick’s. She never trusted Elenore, but Mick had believed her. Even now even if it comes back that Callum wasn’t his, it didn’t matter. Walking forward Linda ushered them inside, scolding them for being out here in the cold. Ben held eyes with Elenore, he knew this wasn’t done, he had this feeling her scam was just beginning. 

XOXO

Ben was going to honestly kill himself. Sure, he had done some horrible things in his short life, he’d hadn’t been a very honest or good person. He was also sure that if you were born a Mitchell you already had a few strikes against you. So, it made sense that the universe would want some payback, a little retribution. This was beyond anything he could ever come up. He could not fathom what he had done or will do in the future that would justify this. 

Lifting his head up he groaned, as yet another version of The Grinch came on the playlist that Lexi and Callum were singing. Not only were they singing they were dancing and giggling and make complete fools of themselves. Ben had been okay the first day, he had been annoyed the second day, but now it was past the third day. Right now it was Christmas Eve, and he was wishing for the sweet release of death. Everywhere he went they were playing this music; he could not get away from it. It didn’t help that Lexi insisted on wearing her elf dress that Callum made her, shaking the brightly colored bells that Johnny had bought for her.

Callum was in the process of doing her hair before they started their rounds across the entire square. First off was his mother, Ian had made something or another. That’s where Jay and Lola would meet them. Then afterwards the four of them plus Lexi would be off to the Mitchells. He was sure Sharon would also have something there they had to eat, and Callum would make him as not to offend. Then it was off to the Carters, because apparently now Ben was a part of their family as Callum was a part of his. Johnny even hinted he had a present waiting for him, though he snickered. Things had cooled down since Callum breakdown a few days ago. Mick finally realizing just how deep Callum’s hurt went. Ben wished Callum would be more open.

Callum and Stuart rarely talked about Jonno, but Mick knew it had been bad. He had known Stuart most his life, he had seen the marks on Callum, had witness more than one scene. Whenever he tried to help Callum it ended up worse for him and Stuart. Callum left, joined the Army and had found his way. Then Elenore had to come walking back into his life and opening old wounds, that ran deeper than they appeared. Mick was as wrecked as Callum was, Linda making everyone else even Ben go back down to the pub. It had worked, after a bit Mick came downstairs. Ben took him home. Mick dealt with Johnny and Lee while Linda tried to get Nancy on the phone. Callum stopped Linda telling her until the results get back there no need, Mick said no. After a talk it was decided Mick would go see her after Christmas results or no. 

“Do I have to wear this sweater,” Ben grumbled frowning as he pointed to the Christmas sweater Lola had bought him.

“Yes,” Lexi told him folding her arms matching his scowl, Callum laughed.

“Ben It’s literally just a blue and white sweater with snowflake patterns,” Callum sighed putting one last pin in Lexi hair, before adding a little more hair spray them clapping his hand. Callum lifted her down onto the ground admiring his work. “Give us a twirl.” Lexi began to twirl around giggling as she did so. “Perfect. Why don’t you go grab your coat?”

“You are so good at this,” Ben smiled happily watching Lexi skip off, then noticing Callum’s confused expression. “Being a parent. You almost make it look easy.”

“It’s called watching YouTube,” Callum laughed while rolling his eyes, when Ben pulled him close.

“It’s called being a good parent,” Ben countered with a soft smile, feeling his heart flutter watching Callum blush.

Tomorrow Lexi was going to wear her new dress that Lola bought her, Callum promised her dozens of photos. Lola and Jay were coming over, they were having a small dinner. Johnny and Lee had mentioned maybe stopping in, mainly because they still were uneasy with Mick. Even Linda was still upset with how cold he had been to Callum. The fact he hadn’t even bothered to call Nancy yet didn’t sit well. Mick was trying, he was just scared of feeling too much again. Of losing it all. 

Walking inside Lexi ran to Lola who was excited to see her, Lexi started twirling around to show her the hair style Callum had done. Lola was just as excited, Kathy came out gushing about good it looked, Ben watched as Callum turned that shade of red he loved so much. Soon Jay rescued him while Ben sat back with a laugh. Bobby automatically found himself next to Callum, it seemed like he felt more relaxed when Callum was around. Ben knew it was just because Callum was a calming presence. He didn’t make anyone feel like their pain was less important. He made you feel like for one moment you were the most important person, and you mattered. 

“Callum and I made brownies,” Lexi announced to everyone hopping up and down pointing to the tray.

“They’re green,” Ian commented hissing as Kathy pinched him hard.

“Lexi added food coloring to the cream cheese frosting,” Ben told him with a glare as he watched Lexi face start to frown.

“They taste amazing Lexi,” Bobby told her eating one smiling brightly watching her face light up, Bobby took her hand led her and Callum into another room shooting a look at his father.

“Making a seven year old cry on Christmas,” Lola snapped angry, to his credit he at least looked taken back.

“I didn’t…I wasn’t…” Ian fumbled at his words looking around at everyone who was just a mix of horrified and angry.

“This has to be a new low Ian,” Ben hissed crossing his arms across his chest, his eyes sharp at his older brother.

“And her grandfather is Phil Mitchell,” Jay added shaking his head dumbfounded.

“I think Uncle Ian needs to see if maybe his favorite niece would like a treat,” Kathy told him pushing a plate of something into his chest, Ian just gave a nod. “Maybe mention how much you like the color green…Grinch.”

As told by his mother he gave Lexi some more sweets, then ate some of her brownies. They listened as she told him they were Grinch brownies, and she went on about the Grinch. He then had to listen to her explain Spiderman, and Ian tried his best to make her smile. Callum and Ben held back a laugh as she did not stop talking, she just went from one topic to another. Bobby just kept shooting Ian looks each time he looked like he was about to stop her. Ian took the hint, and just let her chatter on and on about whatever she happened to be thinking about.

Ben watched Kathy shove another sweet at Callum, she had already given two slices of something that looked like cake maybe pie, a plate of what looked like meats, and a bowl of something. Anytime his hands were empty she or Lola were putting food or drinks in his hands. Like somehow the more food they gave him would somehow fill the hole that his mother had reopened inside of him. Callum blushed as he opened the gifts Kathy got for him. One said Ian but by his brother’s look it was probably from Kathy as well. Kathy telling them they could just leave them and come back later for them. Callum didn’t miss the look on Ian’s face, but he said nothing just smiled.

He had been on his best behavior since almost making Lexi cry. Callum didn’t know if that was because Kathy kept shooting him look or because he might be a little scared Ben. Callum had watched Ben talk with him, no one knew what was said but Ben’s face was clear. To Lexi it was forgotten, but Callum knew how much Ben loved his daughter. The idea that Ian would do or say anything to ruin her holiday would not go over well for him. Ben rolled his eyes as he saw his mother had packed a plate of goodies for Callum and Lexi. 

Off they went, Lexi skipping happily as she giggled at the snow. Callum told her a story of a Christmas he spent in a desert. She listened closely as he told her how he, and his friends Chris and Sammy decorated a cactus Sammy’s cousin sent them. Lexi giggled at the idea, Callum promised to show her pictures later. Lola wanted to know more about this Sammy guy. Callum had mentioned him before but never went into detail about him. He brought up an old photo of them, it was from six years before in Dublin. Their plane stopped in there for what should have been one night and ended up being four days due to the freak storm that hit. It was not missed on Ben he still didn’t go into detail. 

“Finally,” Louise giggled hugging Ben, then Lola then giving an exaggerated gasp when she saw Lexi. “Lexi, I love your hair.” They all watched Lexi smile, while Callum squirmed next to Ben.

“Callum did it,” Lexi excitedly announced twirling around like Callum had her do earlier. “We made brownies!”

“They look delicious sweetheart,” Sharon grinned down at her handing her a biscuit before she skipped off.

“At this rate she’ll be up all night or pass out in a sugar coma,” Jay sighed as they watched Phil give something seconds later, Lola laughed as Sharon took the brownies.

“Jay it’s the holidays,” Callum told him softly watching her climb next to Keanu on the couch, giving him a look when he asked her a question. Callum laughed, she was Ben’s daughter. “Sharon do you need any help?”

“Bless you Callum,” Sharon grinned motioning for him to follow her, as the rest went off to meet with the rest of the Mitchell clan. 

Time at the Mitchells seem to drag longer then it did at Ian’s. This was something that shocked Ben, because usually the Mitchell’s had more excitement. But mainly because Ben was more creeped out by the way his father liked Callum. Ben knew his father held Callum in high counts for saving Ben’s life when he was shot. Then there was the whole Callum defending Phil at The Vic against that guy who went to attack him. He could understand his father patting him on the back, but his father _liked_ Callum. 

When ben walked into the room, he looked for Callum before looking for Jay. When Ben stated he was helping Sharon, he looked at Keanu and asked why he wasn’t helping Sharon. Keanu looked at Louise for help but she walked off, it was clear the two were fighting. Ben had heard they had a yelling match yesterday, over some girl. Keanu of course said the wrong thing, that sent Louise off in tears then Lola had appeared giving him an earful. Keanu stood up asking if anyone needed anything, Phil snickered when Louise grumbled “For you not to be blocking the way.”

Keanu walked off to the kitchen, Callum went off to the other room for just a few minutes doing an errand that Sharon had asked of him. Callum had told her he has been called handy so if there’s something that needs to be done just point him in that direction. Callum had no idea what happened when he came back Sharon was crying, trying to hide it. Callum demanded to know what he did because no one else had been in here. Keanu mumbled waving his hands around, Callum went wide eyed, grabbing him by his shirt.

“You seriously didn’t make a comment about a pregnant woman’s weight,” Callum whispered to him so only Keanu could hear, looking down at her dress then crying again.

“I said…the dress…” Keanu stutter to defend himself but his eyes were wide, by how tight Callum was holding his shirt.

“OUT,” Callum yelled giving him a good push, Keanu looked like he was going to take a swing at him to have Callum take a step forwards, his stance square his face cold. “I would think long and hard about the last guy that swung at me.” Callum warned him his tone low, not realizing Phil and Ben were coming up. “I want you out of this kitchen, you have done more than enough today.”

“What’s happening in here,” Louise asked coming in to see Sharon upset trying to wipe off her face, but unable to stop. “What’s wrong with Sharon?”

“Your boy here decided to insult her,” Callum snipped, watching Louise face turn sour, then walking over to Sharon giving her a few napkins rubbing her arm gently.

“Keanu what did you say,” Louise asked turning to look at him, feeling a little embarrassed.

“It’s unfair to judge my side due to the color of my dress,” Sharon mumbled starting to cry again as she looked down at herself, Louise looked at him horrified.

“We’re wearing almost the same color,” Louise mumbled looking at her own dress. “You said I looked beautiful.”

“Babe you look fine,” Keanu tried, he hadn’t meant for this to happen. He had been caught off guard, he didn’t know what to say. 

“_Fine_,” Louise shrieked her face turning to a sulk as her own tears started. “I knew it, this dress makes me look fat.”

Soon Callum’s voice was heard through the house, everyone looked towards the kitchen in shock. Callum didn’t want to hear one more word out of his mouth, he wanted Callum out of this house. Phil walked in wide eyed. He and Ben had been listening but seeing his wife and daughter in tears made him panic. Sharon had been an emotional wreck this week. Denny poked his head in and then quickly out giving his best to Keanu. Callum ordered Ben to show Keanu out the door. Keanu was about to argue but Callum made him realize quick no one was listening he had done enough damage for one holiday dinner. 

Louise will call him when she is ready to see until then he is to stay away. Phil watched Callum make Sharon and Louise both a cup of tea assuring them Keanu is just an incentive jerk. Watched as Denny popped up after Callum motioned for him, Denny then took them to sit down as everyone fussed over them. Callum sent Phil, Ben, and Jay with the rest of the Mitchells as he and Lola finished setting the table. After a little bit Sharon had recovered from whatever Keanu had said to her, feeling slightly embarrassed. Lola by Callum motion assured her to forget about it, soon it was time for everyone to eat. Ben groaned he didn’t think he could eat again. Callum told him he would eat, and he would smile eyes glancing at Sharon, Ben nodded. 

Soon Callum was seating everyone, and Ben didn’t know if he should be impressed or not. Not everyone could take charge of the Mitchells like this. Callum had Jay and Ben clean off the table, had Denny round the children up to play something outside. Sharon was overwhelmed, and Louise was still upset fiddling with her dress. Callum confessed he didn’t know what Keanu was thinking, Phil and Billy laughed saying that was the issue. Keanu doesn’t always think before he speaks. Ben couldn’t stop how happy he felt seeing Keanu lose his good place with Phil. He still felt weird with Phil patting Callum on back, but he’d worry about that after this day was done and over with. He already felt like he could sleep until New Years, and they still had the Carters.

“Happy Christmas,” Lexi cheered happily, Ben watching Linda and Mick laugh with her. “Callum and I made you brownies.”

“Is this mint frosting,” Lee asked taking one, watching Ben’s face drop because he knew what was coming.

“No, it’s cream cheese,” Callum told him looking at Lexi who looked so happy. “But we should do that next, yeah.”

“Yes,” Lexi grinned nodding her head, Johnny bite back a laugh as he saw Ben’s head drop—more taste testing.

“Oh, Lexi don’t you look precious,” Linda gushed, Ben rolled his eyes as she twirled around giggling.

“Callum did my hair,” Lexi giggled pointing to her braided buns, Linda just melted as Lee snickered getting bellowed by Johnny.

“I think there might be something special on the table just for you table,” Johnny told her watching her eyes go wide. “Callum said you liked strawberry, so I saved you a few things.”

“Thank You,” Lexi grinned politely, Callum smiled as Ben rolled his eyes, Linda took her hand taking her to her special plate of strawberry goodies. 

Lexi’s last name may be Pearce, but she was a Mitchell through and through. She had Linda wrapped around her finger quick, and within minutes so was Mick. Ben would admit that their time at the Carter was probably the less stressful. It was awkward at moments, as Mick was unsure how to act. Lee and Johnny were clearly still not speaking to their father, and Linda was still visibility upset with him. It seemed the only person treating him normally was Callum, but even that was weird. But so far no one opened their mouths to make anyone start to cry, so that was a plus. 

Ben was just thankful there wasn’t much food, he honestly didn’t think he could eat another meal. Next year Ben decided everyone could come to them, Lola seemed onboard but Jay and Callum just rolled their eyes. As Johnny promised Ben had a gift. It wasn’t anything special, but it was the fact that they had got him something. Ben looked as Callum opened his to find a hat, Callum and Lexi laughed. She had been excited to see Johnny had got her one as well, Ben just smiled. It was black and red just like her Spiderman, Callum’s was one color and Linda had made them. 

It was Lexi’s second gift that had him rolling his eyes and fighting back a comment or three. Callum took his hand, he had warned him that they wanted to give Lexi something special. He had assumed it was some toy they had heard all the kids wanted. If Lexi didn’t like it, she wouldn’t tell them that. She would happily accept the toy, hug them, and act like they’d just given her the world. Though now he thought maybe it was connected to the comics Callum had got her into, but her had been wrong. 

Seeing how much Lexi loved the snow globe they gave Callum Linda decided to find the one that went with it. It hadn’t been hard, she kept them put away. Callum had always enjoyed them, so she wanted to give him one. He would always look at them with such wonder, it had been heartbreaking at time. The way his hands would shake when he held them. Then to watch him pull it out of the box, his face in such awe. To watch him share it with Lexi, to watch her connect with it. It had filled Linda with an emotion she had not been expecting.

“Both of the globes were my grandmothers,” Linda told Lexi softly smiling fondly watching Lexi gently pick up the almost identical snow globe. “Back when she was about your age, she was only given one present for Christmas each year and the globe you have in your room was it. She loved that globe. Years later as a courting gift my grandfather bought her this one, that’s how he won her heart.”

“Mum you never told us that,” Johnny said awestruck sitting down next to Lexi as she turned the bottom to have it play a tune.

“I did, you just never listened,” Linda told him, Ben gave a laugh as Johnny gave her a pout.

Linda smiled as Lexi eyes filled with such love and joy. She remembered being Lexi’s age, remembered that first time she saw both globes, when her grandfather told her the story. He had saved for months to buy it, the moment she opened, she knew he was the one. Christmas was their special holiday. Her grandmother would decorate every room, they made this time of year magical. 

Linda recalled waiting all year for them to be brought out, her grandmother kept them in special cases. How much joy she had sharing them with her own children. How sad she was they never listen to the tale she was told every year as a child. They never had the same reaction, though they did enjoy them. The moment Lexi eyes lit up Linda knew; she knew that Lexi just had to have them both. When she watched her dance to the music and heard from multiple people how much she loved it. Then there was the bickering when Callum told Ben they weren’t packing it away after Christmas. Her grandmother would approve.

“Next year Nancy promises she and Tamwar will be visiting,” Linda sighed looking around, she was hoping she’d have all her children this year.

“Have they set a date yet,” Callum asked looking down at Lexi who was asleep next to Olli, her arm around the globe.

“I’m half scared I’m going to just get a call one night that says they’ve eloped on some random Island,” Mick grumbled looking up at a photo of all of them when they were younger.

“Something to discuss when you go see her,” Lee advised, Callum nudged him hard in the side giving him a look. This visit had been good, very good, Callum was tired of Lee making things hard—awkward. 

“Your mother and I both have been trying,” Mick sighed looked up at Callum who now looked down, why did Lee have to do this. Remind him. “She’s not answering.”

“We should probably get her home,” Callum announced, Mick closed his eyes. Every time he thought things were starting to get easier, he had to blow it. Linda gave him a pleading look, but Mick didn’t know what to say.

Ben at this point didn’t know who to blame, Mick was trying. It was obvious he was trying in a way he wasn’t before. But that was why Lee and Johnny were acting so cold to him. They were angry, in their mind he had denied Callum as his son. Ben knew that wasn’t the case, and Callum logically did too, but logic and emotion didn’t go well together. Ben wanted the results to arrive, then it could all be said and done. If Callum was Mick’s son, then there would be nothing left for Mick to worry about. If he wasn’t Mick’s son, then they could deal with Elenore and whatever her current scam was. 

Lee and Johnny were just so angry, and Linda was just betrayed. They wanted Callum to be theirs, and it hurt that it felt like Mick didn’t 

Linda wanted this test done years ago, she wanted to know for herself, but Mick refused. He had total faith in Elenore. For her it hurt that she could have loved and protected him from Jonno. That the years of torment, the years of hiding, the years of neglect, they might not have needed to happen. If he had been with their family Callum wouldn’t have gone off to the Army. He couldn’t have experienced what he did there, he wouldn’t have been hurt or scarred. It hurt her to know that Elenore cared so little about her own children, that she left him with the vile man. And worse, it was like she got enjoyment out of the suffering. Linda wanted to hit her, she wanted Elenore to feel the pain that she had so easily inflicted on others. She wanted Mick to see Elenore Highway as the heartless soulless monster she was. 

Ben watched Callum go to auto once they went inside, Lexi was still sleeping mostly. Callum got the Christmas pajamas out that Lola had packed, Lexi was too tired to start complaining again about them. he made her take a shower, she had jam and strawberry in her hair. He brushed her hair braiding it as Ben put away all the gifts they acquired since Callum made them stop at Kathy’s. Turning the music on, her snow globe came to life. Lexi was too tired for a story tonight instead cuddled up with her plushie and fell asleep to the sound of Christmas. 

“Today wasn’t too bad,” Callum sighed falling on the couch exhausted, looking over to the kitchen frowning. He needed to prepare for tomorrow’s dinner.

“Ian almost made Lexi cry, Keanu did make Sharon cry, Lee made everything awkward,” Ben grumbled rubbing his eyes.

“But no fights,” Callum pointed out watching Ben laugh leaning his head against Callum’s shoulder. It was so early, but he was so tired. “Plus, Lexi had a good day.”

“Are you kidding me,” Ben laughed looking up to Callum who smiled back at him. “She had everyone eating out of her hands.” Callum started laughing along with him. Ben let out of huff as he sat forwards still amazed. “I still can’t believe Johnny saved her treats.”

“Oh, you didn’t even see the biscuits Linda made,” Callum laughed rubbing Ben’s back, watching him turn around confused. “She made peanut butter ones with chocolate, but the chocolate was in a shape of an L. her gram made them every year used to stand for Linda but now…”

“Linda told her it was for her,” Ben sighed falling back shaking his head, he was going to need a month to recover from this week.

Ben decided moments later they needed sleep. If they were running behind tomorrow then they were running behind, but he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. Walking into their bedroom, they fumbled along getting ready for bed. Falling on top of the bed Callum didn’t care he hadn’t showered. He didn’t care he still had product in his hair, and tomorrow his mouth would feel like cotton. He just wanted to lie here and just let sleep claim him—maybe for eternity. 

Ben started laughing as he turned around to see Callum passed out on their bed, legs half falling off the bed. Ben moved Callum fully on the bed, smiling warmly as he grumbled about something or another. Ben kissed his temple as he snuggled more into the pillow. Shutting off the light, Ben went around the flat one more time making sure everything was taken care of. He check on Lexi one more time moving her fully on the bed, hearing her mumbled about Santa. Ben smiled so grateful for her innocence, he told her he hadn’t been here yet. Watched as she fell back asleep. 

Ben would wait an hour or so then bring out those gifts. She and Callum had bought a special plate, he’ll place out. At the time he thought it silly but now he understood. Callum never had any of this, he wanted Lexi to have it for as long as she could. Ben got Tubbs to write Thank You Lexi on a card since she didn’t know his handwriting, he hadn’t told Callum who he got though. He and Tubbs hadn’t met yet, but Callum like to know as little as possible about his work. 

Sitting at the table Ben sipped his tea, almost going for something stronger but he just didn’t have the energy. A glass would most likely put him to sleep. Then he’d have to deal with an upset child on why Santa didn’t visit her and a boyfriend who would blame himself. Ben’s mind went to Lee and Johnny, he may need to talk to Johnny if he didn’t calm down soon. He understood Lee and Johnny were trying to protect Callum. They were trying to stand up for him, give him the support he never had but they were making things worse each day. Linda was mostly normal today, until the end—until Lee opened his mouth making Callum feel down.

Mick was trying his best, there was no guide on how to act. Callum was trying too, trying to accept that it was okay to feel hurt and betrayed. It was okay to be angry, to feel scared, and intimated. This wasn’t something people go through on a regular basis, it was normal to fail. Mick was scared to death, he was hurt beyond words, and battling a betrayal neither Lee nor Johnny could relate to. Ben just needed Lee and Johnny to back off, to give Mick and Callum a chance to talk it out. Looking down at his cup Ben decides, maybe someone needs to say that. Maybe someone needs to tell Callum it’s okay to be selfish, maybe someone needs to tell Mick it’s okay to tell everyone he just needs time. Maybe that person was going to have to be Ben.

TBC


	9. Life By...New Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The results

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said Sunday but I didn't like how I wrote the smutty portion of this chapter, it didn't flow like I wanted. So I rewrote it. I like it much better, it feels more like Ben and Callum. 
> 
> The third story will have more Elenore in it, I am just trying to decide on a few things. I honestly don't know if I am going to have Lee and Whitney get back together, at this point it would feel forced. So we'll see how my muse flows with them.
> 
> Jacey I love you, thank you!! So glad you love my creation of your challenge. What was supposed to be a one shot, is now on it's way to being trilogy.

**Love Hopeful: Live By...New Years**

On Friday December 27th things shifted. Linda opened the door to see the smiling face of her only daughter Nancy. Mick came running out to screaming, then he rushed forward happily. Lee and Johnny also both laughed. For a moment Lee and Johnny forgot they were upset with Mick, for one brief moment everything was like it was until it wasn’t. Nancy quickly explained Tamwar would be here in a few days, he stopped off to see Syed and Christian. 

Mick was confused, Nancy announced they were getting married. Johnny rolled his eyes, hissed when Linda smacked his arm. Nancy laughed as she explained that they were getting married soon. Their reason for coming back was to have a wedding. Linda gasp, Mick had to sit down as they claimed they didn’t want a big to do. No one was really listening to her as she went on about the plan she had made, and how Tamwar was off handle his brother and trying to convince the rest to come back to Walford. Then she stopped.

“I know this seems sudden…” Nancy started wanting everyone to be on board.

“It’s not that Nancy,” Johnny promised her smiling he knew this had been a while coming, they’d almost been engaged a year.

“I wouldn’t exactly say that,” Linda disagreed frowning. “Lee is only on leave until New Year’s, Johnny leaves in two days…”

“The wedding isn’t until March,” Nancy assured them, watching Linda soften but still her face showed her sadness. “I wanted to have it in Greece, but Tamwar wants it here with all the family.”

“Remind me to thank him,” Mick grumbled looking at Linda who now looked a mix of insulted and broken.

“I haven’t told anyone but Callum yet,” Lee started looking at his parents and siblings, and he knew Nancy was reacting to the name. “But I am not resigning with the Army, I’ll be discharged the first to second week of March.”

“Callum,” Nancy laughed excitedly. “I spaced that he was back.” Nancy smiled but it quickly faltered when Lee looked at Mick. Mick who looked pale, Nancy felt an uneasy feeling pass through her. 

“Nancy we’ve been trying to contact you for over a week now,” Mick sighed motioning for Lee and Johnny to move away from their sister. “There’s something we need to talk about, and I wanted to do this in person.” 

Linda watched as her house erupted into pure chaos, Lee and Johnny were storming out and Mick walked off angry. Nancy followed Mick, and Linda had never felt more alone and in the middle than at this moment. 

Ben groans rubbing his eyes as the sun hits his face, he can hear Lexi and Callum in the other room. He loves his daughter, he’d give his life, his very soul for her, without hesitation. But he needed one day of sleeping in or he was going to die of exhaustion. Since she had arrived a week ago, there has not been no single second of silence. He couldn’t even recall a moment he and Callum had to themselves. He couldn’t blame her, or even be angry with her. She was excited she got to spend time with them. It was hard on her living away from Ben, she was his little girl, to her Ben was everything. 

But he was looking forward to tonight, to being able to lay next to Callum without her head popping into the room because she heard a noise outside. Last night she had slept in their bed because Denny had told her a story about the dead waking up and walking the streets. Each time she heard so much a little sound she thought someone was coming back alive from downstairs. She had spent an hour in tears terrified they would come for them. Callum had been wonderful, he knew what to do and what to say to finally calm her down. After watching some cartoon Ben couldn’t even name Callum had agreed she could sleep with them. Ben watched as he told her some fairytale that had her asleep within minutes. 

Sometimes it amazed him how good Callum was at being a dad. He was a natural, from the basic everyday routine stuff to the type of stuff that just pops up out of nowhere. Callum made it look so easy, that at times Ben felt jealous. It was like he never struggled with the transition from no child to stepchild, it just came naturally. Anything from sewing outfits and costumes, to making cupcakes and pizza, hosting story time sessions, to remembering the names of all the children in her class. He knew how to fix her hair, how to soothe her when she cried, it seemed like he was born to be a parent. Lexi just looked up to him, accepted him as an authority figure without ever questioning it.

Slipping out of the bed Ben grinned, he was going to enjoy having Callum all to himself for the rest of today. Johnny and Lee were here all the time now. It was like he couldn’t walk out of their bedroom without people being here. Since December started, they’ve barely had any time together. It was starting to weigh on Ben. He wanted them to enjoy their first holiday season together but thanks to Elenore it felt tainted. Ben was trying to come up with the perfect New Year’s Eve date, since Jay and Lola got Valentine’s Day.

Ben walked out to Johnny on the couch with Lexi, and Lee chatting with Callum. The television was on, and Lee was obviously emotional about something as he was waving his hands dramatically. Turning back around Ben needed a moment to compose himself. He could hear Lexi laughing as Johnny made jokes, could hear Callum calming Lee down. Ben was learning fast lee had a short temper, and it got him into trouble. It was why he was leaving the Army. 

“Good morning,” Ben greeted everyone, stopping when he saw Lee nod and Johnny not even look up but wave a hello. 

“Nancy came back this morning,” Callum explained softly handing him a cup of coffee proving at least he had seen him. 

“Isn’t that what everyone wanted,” Ben asked confused, then moaned as he tasted his perfectly made coffee. He really didn’t deserve Callum.

“Nancy doesn’t think Lee has been fair to Mick,” Callum sighed watching Lee walk over and sit next to Johnny, slumping down annoyed.

“Let me guess he didn’t take that well,” Ben guessed laughing at Callum’s glare, ben had been vocal about Lee needing to back off. 

“I’m going to go talk to Mick,” Callum told him quietly. Ben has been telling him for the last couple days that he and Mick needed to talk, but without Lee. Johnny agreed but Lee had not taken kindly to Ben’s recommendation. “So...” Callum pleaded looking towards Lee and Johnny.

“You want me to babysit your brothers,” Ben groaned looking over to Johnny who was being taught how to play some game by Lexi as Lee watched holding back a snicker.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Callum promised leaning forward giving him a hard kiss pushing him into the counter, hands going to his bare hips, nails digging into flesh. Ben hated Callum sometimes.

“Callum!” Lexi yelled with a whiny pout; Ben laughed as Callum grumbled, his forehead falling against Ben’s chest. They really needed some alone time just the two of them, a bed, and nothing else. “Johnny is cheating!”

“I am not!” Johnny yelled back to Callum his voice expressing how offended he was, Lee starting to laugh hysterically. Ben exhaled deeply before shoving Callum away.

“Johnny are you seriously intimated by a seven-year-old,” Ben asked walking into the room watching one of his best mates turn rosy pink. 

“I am not cheating,” Johnny exclaimed loudly at Ben watching him nod with an amused smile before looking at Lexi. “She’s just being a Mitchell.” Ben and L:ee laughed as she stuck her tongue out at him.

“Move over,” Ben demanded hitting Johnny’s shoulder. “Lee and I are playing with you guys.” Lee looked shocked by this news, but Lexi clapped. Callum smiled as Lee sunk down next to Ben, proving once again Lexi was in charge. 

Callum walked out the door as Johnny was arguing with Lexi about a rule or something. Callum could hear Lee reminding Johnny that he’s in his twenties and she’s only seven. Ben couldn’t help the laugh as Johnny gave a pouted answer, Lexi looking smug as Lee let her have her way. It was moments like this that Callum knew Lexi was Ben’s daughter, there was no way she couldn’t be. From the way she carried herself, way she acted to the way she could read people within seconds of meeting them. She was seven, and she had almost the entire square wrapped around her finger and used it to her advantage. 

Walking down the stairs he rubbed his eyes, this month felt like it was never ending. Walking down the street the cold air hit him, he didn’t know how to feel right now. Lee and Johnny were angry at Nancy, angry she didn’t take their side his side. He didn’t even realize there were sides. Linda was in the middle, she loved Callum as if he were her own, but Nancy was making her feel bad. Nancy and he had always gotten along, she was only a year younger than Lee. 

He recalled all the tricks she used to play on him, and there was even a joke they’d get married. Now with him being gay and her possibly being his sister it felt gross but at eight and five it seemed like the logical thing to do. It all seemed so strange to him, having a family. Not just with the Carters but with Ben too. Having Lexi who wanted him to make breakfast and fix her hair. Lexi who clung to him like he could protect her. Lola and Jay who looked at him like they did Ben. All of this felt so unreal.

“Nancy,” Callum greeted walking in smiling as Linda came forward to hug him happily.

“I take it _our_ brother ratted me out,” Nancy sighed looking up, ignoring Linda glare as she drug Callum inside to sit down.

“This situation is hard on everyone Nancy,” Callum told her looking towards Mick who was walking in. Mick stopped Linda when she wanted to intervene. “Lee…and Johnny are angry. They need someone to blame, someone to direct their rage at, and it’s easier to be angry at Mick who is here present then my mother who is not.”

“Dad is just as much a victim as you are in this,” Nancy argued, she knew Callum was speaking the truth. Elenore wasn’t here, Mick was, so directing their rage at him was easy, it made sense to them.

“When the truth first came out, I treated Callum unfairly,” Mick confessed looking at Callum feeling miserable, he had been thinking about this since Christmas Eve. Mick didn’t know why this was all so hard for him, he loved Callum. The idea Callum was his son feel him with such joy, but he couldn’t feel anything right now. When he looked at any of his children, he felt numb. “I still haven’t got much better.”

“You have a lot to consider Mick,” Callum replied looking away, first at Linda then his hands. Nancy felt her heart break, did their father turned Callum away? “You have a family and business you need to protect.” Mick couldn’t stop his heart from shattering, as Callum went on. “Not to mention my mother was someone important to you, and what she did was unforgivable.” Callum sighed, understanding this wasn’t a black and white situation. Mick needed to worry about the life he built, he needed to protect his family first. “Like you said we don’t even know if I am your son, Elenore Highway isn’t exactly known for telling the truth.”

“You said that…to his face,” Nancy exclaimed Mick felt himself look away in shame, then he looked at Callum. Callum who had every right to be the angry one, but he let it go to defend him, to believe in him.

“The point is,” Callum sighed rubbing his eyes feeling himself lose focus, he needed people to understand. Mick had everything to lose. “Mick is right, until the results come in, we don’t know if…” Callum stopped his voice starting to go uneven. “It’s probably all a lie, it’s what she does.” Callum told them regaining his voice. Nancy looked at Mick then Callum then back at Mick, thinking maybe Lee was justified in his anger.

Nancy remembered when they were children, and people would laugh at Callum. He was always a little chubby, he couldn’t run as fast, and he had been awkward on his feet. He didn’t like to lie, or cheat, and he believed in people. Sometimes it was hard to believe someone could be that good, that honest, but Callum was. When you looked at his father, at his brother, it seemed like it was impossible. They were such horrible people, they lived such cruel lives, that it almost seemed like Callum got all the good. That somehow the universe was trying to even out the score. Nancy never liked his mother, she always seemed fake. When she spoke, it was like each word had a hidden meaning, and only she knew the code.

When they would play Callum would be the last picked, even the times when Lee was picking. Mick would scold him, tell him he needed to be a better friend to Callum. Linda would make something special for him when no one would want him, or they’d make fun of him because Nancy did pick him. It got to the point Callum stopped trying to play, instead he kept score or refereed. It always broke Nancy heart. Callum always put on this happy goofy front about it but she could always see past his words to his broken smile and sad eyes. It was the same smile he had right now, the smile that said, “no one wants me.”

She leaned forward hugging him like she did when they were children. Linda looked down at them, her own sad smile, Mick felt like the biggest heartless jerk in the world. It was clear the results didn’t matter to anyone—but him. Linda wiped the tears away, walking off, she couldn’t let Callum see her cry. Mick closed his eyes his owns tears threatening to fall. Mick felt himself remembering a moment from long ago. Callum and Nancy were a team, Lee picking Johnny over him. He recalled coming outside as Callum kicked the winning goal, Nancy and him laughing as Lee and Johnny looked dumbfounded. Then lee and Johnny started laughing tossing leaves at Callum then Nancy, turning their game into a big battle. Linda walking out rolling her eyes but smiling telling Mick they all were cleaning that mess up. 

“The results don’t matter Callum,” Mick told Callum, watching his shattered face look up at him looking confused, dazed, and broken. “You’ve always been a part of this family. I am so sorry I’ve made you feel like you weren’t.” Linda walked in as Mick pulled Callum to him, hugging him tightly. Putting her hand over her mouth to muffle her cries as Nancy went to stand next to her. “I’ve just been so angry with your mother, I couldn’t see…feel anything past that. We love you Callum. We have always loved and wanted you.”

Callum was going to owe Ben so much when this was all said and done. There was no way Ben was going to let him forget that either. Between Johnny reverting back to being a small child arguing with Lexi every five seconds and Lee sulking, Ben was ready for a drink. Lee didn’t understand why Johnny did not grasp that Lexi was Ben’s child, she was not going to just let him win. Then lee realized Callum wasn’t around, Ben had put his hand on his shoulder to keep him from getting up. Ben had faked a smile when he said he’d gone to deal with a pressing matter, and he’d be back later. 

Lola and Jay came to pick Lexi up. Lexi of course was sad Callum wasn’t back to say goodbye, Jay promised her they’d call Callum later. Ben ordered Johnny to clean up the game, and for Lee to clean up the dishes while he helped Jay pack up Lexi things. They did so without questioning him or telling him no, Lexi helped. Before leaving Lexi hugged Johnny with a giggle and a thank you for playing with me. Johnny annoyance crumbled within seconds, hugging her back. 

Ben really needed some time alone—with Callum—maybe? 

After Lexi was gone Ben banged his head against the door as Lee started in on something while Johnny kept telling him to shut up. Lee was obviously upset that Callum went over there alone. It was like something in Johnny finally broke. Ben just stayed back trying to not let his rage win, letting Johnny handle Lee. Johnny finally got Lee to maybe understand, that Callum needed to handle this on his own. He didn’t need Lee to protect him, to defend him. Besides Callum was always the one who fixed their fights with Nancy when they were children. 

Ben was hoping they’d just leave but of course they pulled him along. Ben didn’t know if he was cut out for this, kept thinking that maybe he was taking on too much. Within the span of three months he had gone from carefree no strings attached bachelor to domestic boyfriend. He was babysitting grown men, was worried about messy rooms, dirty dishes, and spent hours last night watching movies he couldn’t even grasp the plot. Lee had told him Callum had been on the phone when arrived with Sharon discussing Denny’s tale of dead mean coming back to life. 

Was this his life?

“What happened,” Ben exclaimed rushing towards Callum who was wiping away the tears shaking as he sat on the carter’s sofa. Ben looked up at Mick who was also crying, hands trembling as he composed himself.

“Am I missing something,” Nancy mumbled wide eyed looking at Ben who was caressing Callum’s face wiping away his tears, then to Johnny and Lee who just shrugged.

“Callum is also gay,” Johnny stated sitting next to Callum with a smile patting Callum’s leg, who moved over a bit. Ben was in front of him on his knees trying to soothe him as Callum regained his composure. 

“He and Ben live together as well,” Lee added watching Nancy nod, look at Callum and Ben then to her parents who smiled. She didn’t know how much more she could take.

“Why is Callum crying!” Ben snapped at them to feel more than hear Callum laugh, Callum gripped Ben’s neck pulled him forward for a sweet kiss.

“You were right,” Callum told Ben smiling, Ben nodded feeling a slight dizzy from Callum’s lips on his. He then looked at Mick who gave him a small smile, then leaned in for one more kiss.

“Right about what,” Lee asked curious pushing at Nancy who pushed back at him, until Linda came over smacking them both with a warning glare.

Ben looked at Callum, felt himself relax, he looked different. Callum looked calmer, more at ease than he had in weeks. Looking at Callum right now was like looking at the Callum before this horrible month of December started. It was like Ben never ran away, he never got scared by how much he cared for Callum. The idea of Callum loving him, and he did love him, didn’t terrify Ben. It was like they didn’t have the arguments over Ben topping, something they still haven’t had a chance to resolve. Elenore didn’t show up, destroy the happiness that Callum was building here. Mick hadn’t spent the last couple weeks being tormented over his past mistake and being looked down upon for it. Callum looked happy. 

Ben smile as Callum kissed him again, he missed this. Someone chattering in the background as Johnny made eww sounds. Callum didn’t care, he had Ben and he finally felt wanted for the first time. The moment Mick said he wanted him, that he loved him, Callum shook his head in disbelief. Then Mick’s arms were around him, Callum could hear him say he was sorry, but it didn’t register. Mick and Linda always made him feel safe, he didn’t realize until these past few weeks how much he wanted to be theirs. How much it meant to be able to separate himself from Jonno, to have someone kind and good to look to. 

Losing it that night a week ago had been freeing, but then Mick was so scared to say anything. Scared he’d hurt Callum again that he started to double guess his words, his actions. Lee and Johnny were so angry at everything they took it out on Mick. He was an easy target because Mick let them. He never told them to stop, he never defended himself, he almost felt like he deserved that anger. Mick should have known Callum was his, he should have known all along. Callum had to be Jonno’s son, what kind of father didn’t know a boy they practically raised was their own. Mick felt like a failure, so he accepted the anger, the hate.

The Mick looked at him, remembered all the times he called Callum son. All the time Linda cleaned him up, gave him a sweet because Lee or Johnny made him cry or feel less. He was too chubby, his ears were big, he couldn’t run as fast, the list went on. Lee loved Callum, would defend him, but at time he thought that gave him a right to make fun of him. Callum was his brother, was his brother in a way that couldn’t be defined by blood. Johnny and Callum would fight and scream but also defend each other. Nancy always saw Callum, Lee used to joke about a crush, but Mick knew. Mick knew it was because Callum was theirs, not Elenore, not Jonno, not Stuart, and not even Phil Mitchell. And he didn’t need a blood test to tell him that.

“We have a wedding to plan,” Linda grinned clapping her hands excitedly turning away to wipe away her tears.

“Mum I told you a lot of it’s been decided,” Nancy told her softly watching Linda’s face drop before walking off, watching everyone look at her. “I just want something small, just a tiny service then a small reception back here at The Vic.”

“So, there’s literally nothing left to plan, you have done it all,” Johnny asked slowly. Then looked at Lee and Callum who gave him back a weird look that Ben didn’t recognize but clearly Mick did because he stood up. “Because I don’t recall seeing an invitation.” Johnny sighed, then looked at Ben and Callum mocked a questioning look. “Do we get a plus one or will that be too many?”

“How many people are you two inviting,” Lee questioned watching her shrug. “How many of Tamwar’s family will be coming? You mentioned his brother Syed?” Nancy looked to the side trying to think. “Will we be following any of their traditions?”

“Will there be an engagement party,” Johnny asked looking excited, Mick went to open his mouth, but Johnny spoke louder. “That’s a thing right, people still do that?”

“Yes, but I don’t think in this case it’s appropriate since the wedding is in three months,” Callum advised, before giving a pensive look, Ben suspected was fake. “But you’ll need to get invitations out soon.” Callum told her gently. “Where’s the wedding taking place?” Callum asked, now thinking back to his failed wedding. “Venues are usually booked months to a year or more in advance so if you haven’t...”

“MUM,” Nancy yelled running to follow her into whatever room she ran off too, all three of them smirking.

“Did you three just seriously panic your sister into letting your mother help plan this wedding,” Mick gasped horrified, looking at Ben who looked just as shocked by what he just saw. What kind of tricks did they play as children?

“Did you want to deal with mum if she couldn’t help plan her only daughter’s wedding,” Lee asked looking over into the room watching Linda hug Nancy reassuring her it would be fine.

“We will talk about this,” Mick snapped at them as he walked off to help Linda calm Nancy down.

“I don’t know whether to be appalled or impressed,” Ben admitted looking at Callum, who just smiled at him before blowing him a kiss.

The weekend came and went by in a flash, and Ben saw even less of Callum then when they had Lexi. He had so much work to do and catch up on, and Callum had been pulled into a Carter family thing. Mick’s idea of punishment for inducing a panic mode for Nancy was to make him work at The Vic. They had given Whitney the next few days off, and Johnny had to leave. Lee was preparing to leave as well. Linda felt her heart break, she had liked having all her children home.

Then Monday hit and Callum was back to work, and Ben still didn’t have any idea of what they were going to do. He just knew he wanted some time alone with Callum, so that’s why he was here in the kitchen on New Year’s Eve looking around. Callum had gone over to give Lexi something or another, he rolled his eyes honesty. He was pretty sure he was taking one of the snow globes over to her and just mumbling so Ben wouldn’t make a comment.

They had decided to stay in, Ben didn’t want to share Callum tonight. Lee had mentioned some celebration and Ben had been close to threatened him with violence if he so much stepped anywhere close to their flat. Mick luckily came to the rescue, stated that maybe Ben and Callum wanted a night to themselves. Mick had been the only one to notice how little time Ben and Callum had spent alone. Not that Ben wanted to complain, he loved his daughter, and having Johnny around was nice. It was nice having someone besides Jay to confine in. 

“You took her one of her snow globes didn’t you,” Ben asked was Callum walked inside with bags.

“She has a cold,” Callum told him giving him the bags of stuff he asked for to make whatever he was making.

“She has you wrapped around her little finger,” Ben laughed taking the bags shaking his head, then stopping looking at Callum who was giving him an amused grinned. “What?”

“You worked from home yesterday because she asked you to,” Callum countered, then laughing as Ben blushed quickly walked to the kitchen. “I love how devoted you are to her. It was one of the first things I noticed about you.” Ben was putting the items away when Callum leaned forward placing a soft kiss on the back of his neck, then peppering them to his shoulder as Callum's hands went to his hip.

"I...I need...I," Ben stuttered then let out a deep moan closing his eyes as teeth nipped at that spot below his ear, as Callum's hands moved to his jeans. "Callum I need to start dinner."

Ben felt like his body was on fire, he hadn't felt like this since their first time. Callum's mouth felt so good on his skin, his hands callused and rough undid his jeans without any effort. Ben felt himself being turned around pushed against the counter jeans pulled down to his ankles. Callum dropped to his knees before Ben could even comprehend what was happening. Ben's hands went to the counter gripping it tightly as his cock was engulfed in warm wet heat. 

Ben's head dropped back as Callum took him to the back of his throat. Keep his mouth tightly wrapped around the hard length Callum slowly release the cock from his mouth until only the swollen head remained. Ben could almost sob as Callum's tongue massaged the crown lapping up the precum. Moaning at the taste. Callum bobbed his head taking Ben all the way inside his mouth again, teeth scrapping. This time not holding Ben hips as he began to move. Ben looked down, watched as his cock moved in and out of Callum's tight throat. 

Ben ran his hand through Callum's hair, god he wished it didn't have the product in it. Ben grabbed the side of Callum's face, increased his speed as he held Callum in place just fucking his mouth. Ben started slow at first watching Callum blissful expression. Nails digging into Ben's hips, then Ben fell himself fall back as he felt his orgasm start. Callum took over Ben pulled at his hair with a hoarse cry, looking down watching Callum take it all. Callum slowly release him, lean back as he wiped his mouth, cum and sip all over his chin. Ben moaned watching Callum lick his fingers, grabbing his face he pulled Callum up for a kiss. Kicking his jeans away he sucked Callum's tongue into his mouth. Pushing him towards the bedroom both of them tearing their clothes away slamming into the walls along the way. 

Ben closed his eyes as Callum flung him on the bed, mouth going straight to his thighs. Or as Callum thinks of them, Ben's thick fleshy please just bite me thighs. Callum loved to mark him, it had been two weeks since they'd been like this. "Yes" Ben cried as Callum finally bite and sucked into the fleshy thigh, "doing so good," Ben told Callum as he ventured upwards to his hip. Ben hissed as teeth bit into his side sucking hard, his breathing uneven as he heard the open and close of a drawer. Lips moving back down to the opposite thigh biting and sucking marks there too. His mouth going lower placing a kiss on the sensitive head, that beckoned to his mouth, then going lower. Ben breath caught. 

Spreading Ben's cheeks Callum leaned forward enjoying the scent of Ben Mitchell before latching onto the puckered hole. "Callum!" Ben cried out as his tongue thrust inside his hands moving his thighs apart lifting Ben up just a little so Callum could go deeper. The puckered hole opening up, and clenching around Callum's tongue hands squeezing thighs. Callum moved his mouth back to Ben's thighs grinning into his flesh, getting the lube spreading some on his fingers. Callum watched Ben's face as two of his large fingers slide inside of him. Watched as Ben arched his back, eyes closed, mouth open; looking at his cock half hard already again.

Curving his fingers Ben whimpered, "Please" Ben begged as Callum went slow, in and then out, in then out, oh so slowly--too slow. Callum watched the pinkish hole open wider clenching around his fingers moving his mouth lower. Slipping his tongue inside next to fingers. "Jesus." Ben gasped feeling his hole widen, the warm wet tongue sliding in and out as his finger brushed the right spot. His mouth back on Ben's thighs as a third finger slide inside as Callum started going faster but missing that spot on purpose. " I'm good," Ben whined then begged, "please." Callum smiled removing his fingers slowly.

"CALLUM" Ben screamed hands grabbing the headboard as Callum took him back into his mouth as something hard and cold pressed inside of him. It was Ben's vibrator, he'd been begging Callum to use it on him for a while but Callum always opted for his cock instead. Usually he was too far gone to want to wait. Apparently tonight Callum was in the mood to play. 

Moving the vibrator in and out, Ben wanted to cry as it hit that spot every now and then, but not enough for Bens liking. Callum's other hand now jerking him in tune with the toy, Callum watched amazed as Ben didn't know whether to thrust into the toy or Callum's hand. Callum watched Ben's hand twist the headboard as he slowly upped the vibration, moving it faster harder inside of him now missing that sweet spot entirely. Callum didn't want to abuse the small nub, he wanted Ben to be able to go a few more time tonight. His thumb moving to Ben's red angry swollen head, massaging as Callum bent forward his tongue dipping into the slit. Ben came with a sob, Callum moaning licking him up feeling Ben pulse in his hand. 

Callum laughed as Ben roughly flipped him on his back, then attacked his mouth. Ben moved his mouth down biting into Callum's chest, feeling his boyfriend arch into his mouth. Ben had never felt like this, he wanted to devour Callum, wanted to bury himself so far inside of him they never parted. "Ben" Callum moaned as Ben licking at his swollen head, the flat of his tongue going to the underside to massage the bundle of nerves there. Callum's head was ultra sensitive, Ben learned that quick. Callum was pulling him back to his mouth, "need inside you" Callum begged, his voice rough, "need to feel you." Ben wanted to say not yet, wanted to tease him some more, but he couldn't deny Callum anything. 

Hands on Callum's chest Ben closed his eyes as he sat on Callum now condom slicked up cock. One day he'd like them to discuss getting tested and going bare, god he could feel himself hardening at the idea of Callum's length inside of him without latex. Pushing himself up, he slide back down, then slide up and then down more, god he loved this burn. Loved how Callum held onto his thigh and hips so hard they'd leave marks. Callum always knew he needed it, that Ben craved it. When he finally had Callum fully inside of him, he braced himself, and began to move a little slower than usual. One because it's been a couple weeks, and two because he wanted to savor Callum being inside of him.

Truth be told usually he was so desperate to come that he didn't want to take it slow, but this time was different. He relish in how his body squeeze around Callum's hard length, how each movements drug out these little moans and whines from Callum. Looking down he watched Callum, his hands gripping Ben's hips as Ben controlled the movements. Callum's eyes were closed, his breathing erratic, then his eyes opened to reveal the stormiest color of blue Ben had ever seen. He loved when Callum's eyes were lust drunk, this was his Callum.

Rolling them over Callum kissed Ben, his hand cupping his face as Ben's legs wrapped around his waist, Ben hands going to his back to cling to him. Callum started to move faster, deeper than Ben had been able to get, he could hear Ben let out a high pitched cry as he hit him just right. Callum lifted his head up to look down at Ben. Ben's hand touching Callum's face, caressing him gently. Watching Callum close his eyes at the feather light touches. This was it, this was Ben telling Callum what he didn't ever need to say. Callum was a patient man, if it took one month or one year he'd wait for Ben. He didn't need the words to know Ben loved him, Ben said it every day in his actions. 

Ben cried out as Callum pinned his hands above his head, bent his head forward latching back onto that tender spot on his shoulder, as Callum increased his speed. Callum knew when this started to feel like too much for Ben, when he shut down, and Callum didn't want that--not tonight. He wanted Ben to feel this for days, he needed Ben to know always he was Callum's. Ben closed his eyes as Callum fucked him hard, hitting that spot he so recently avoided. "YES" Ben yelled as his legs tightened around Callum waist taking him in deeper, his hands twisted in Callum's as his orgasm hit him. Ben coming untouched, his body feeling like live wire. Callum did not slow, he went faster harder pinning Ben down harder as he chased his own release. 

"Best New Years date ever," Ben laughed more feeling than seeing Callum laugh too before moving to his side. Callum leaned forward placing soft sweet kissing on Ben's face. "I can't go again." Ben mumbled feeling Callum laugh feeling quite proud, he out sexed Ben Mitchell.

"I was thinking more along the lines of a shower," Callum whispered his fingers rubbing around the deep red teeth mark on Ben's shoulder, he bite a little too deep tonight. "Sorry about this."

"I liked it," Ben moaned softly Callum lips kissing the bite mark, bending his head up to kiss Callum's still swollen lips. "Shower, food, cuddles...I'll even let you pick the movie."

Ben asking for cuddles had Callum heart feeling overjoyed. Ben had told him dozens of time how he didn't mind them, he liked a cuddle every now and then but he liked his space. There was a time and place for cuddles, but it wasn't something he loved to do. Ben never asked for them, but here he was asking for cuddles. Fifteen minutes later Callum slipped out of bed. Smiling and turning red as Ben whistled at him as he walked naked to the shower. 

Thirty-two minutes later under the hot spray of water, Ben was clinging to Callum, tongue thrusting into his mouth as Callum slammed him against the wall. Callum hand jerking them off as his tongue thrust in and out of his mouth. Ben was sure that one day they were going to break tile but right now he didn't care, he just needed to taste Callum's orgasm. Ben came again with a cry into Callum's mouth, Callum following him seconds later with a hard bite to Ben's lower lip. Ben whimpered as Callum sucked the lip soothing the sting away.

Callum made them grille cheese sandwiches and chips as Ben very slowly took another shower by himself. Deciding as he inspected his body that they weren't allowed to go two weeks without sex again. Not that Ben wanted to complain, their sex tonight had been outstanding. Hands on the sink as he felt the sting tingle all over his body. Ben dressed slowly, walking out to the smell of bread and cheese, and potato. He loved Callum's chips, he didn't know exactly what he did but they were delicious. Callum rolled his eyes but always let him know he did extra salt on his.

"No funny business Mr. Highway," Ben told him mocking a stern look as they settled on the couch, Callum laughed rolling his eyes. Well maybe not a mock, he wasn't sure he could have sex again. Ben was proven wrong as they rung in midnight with Ben riding Callum on the couch as fireworks went off in the background. Ben was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to sit for weeks.

XOXO

Ben could honestly count on one hand how many times his body felt like it did today, actually he couldn't Callum had used so good last night. Ben felt sore, raw, and each movement reminded him of exactly what Callum did to him last night; and damn it if he did love it. He loved that in the shower last night he had handprints, bite marks, and scratches all over his body. He loved the tiny smirk Callum got when he moved just a little slower. His body felt absolutely used, and he relished in the feeling. He felt claimed in a way that no one, not even Paul could say they did. Callum owned him, and his body knew it.

Walking out of the bedroom, he laughed as he smelled lemon scent of cleaning products. He knew it would hit Callum today once the high of great sex, and fear of fireworks went away. They had sex in the kitchen, bathroom, and on the couch. Callum had broke every single one of his rules last night. He wanted to feel bad, he wanted to tell Callum sorry but he didn't. One because he could barely sit without some part of his body stinging, and two god did he love it when Callum blushed. 

Walking down the street it was like people knew, he looked down a few times to make sure no marks were being advertised. Was there a sign above his head that said "I had amazing sex." Ben didn’t like people to know, he wasn’t one to parade his marks, he liked them hidden. Callum said it was because of his jealous streak. Didn’t want people to imagine Callum in bed with Ben, because then they might start to fantasize about him. Ben had laughed it off, but now Ben might admit Callum was maybe possibly on to something. Ben liked that that was their world, no one knew Callum like that but him. Even Whitney didn’t know how good Callum could be. The Callum he had last night, was never the Callum she had in bed.

He recalled when Johnny had made a remark about Callum’s marks, Whitney had been close by. He hadn't know it until he looked up to see her wide shocked eyes. Callum had told him so many times how much control he had let her have in their sex life. To her Callum would always be this fumbling sweet adorable guy, she’d never know the Callum that Ben did. And that thrilled Ben, he didn’t want anyone to know that Callum. Just like Callum was one of the few to see him dance silly without reason. To see him fumbling around looking for his glasses in the morning, barely able to hear. Callum saw him weak and open; even with Paul he kept his guard up at times. He couldn’t, not with Callum, never with Callum. 

“I wanted to wait until today to do this,” Mick announced coming into the room, he looked at Lee and Nancy then to Callum nervously. “The results came in on Monday.” Mick sighed holding up the sealed envelope with shaky hands as they held their breaths briefly, before looking at Callum.

“The results don’t matter,” Lee hissed patting Callum's leg Mick smiling knowingly giving his son a nod. “Callum is ours.” Nancy looked at Lee smiling, giving a nod, taking Lee's hand.

“Lee is right the results don’t matter, Callum is stuck with us for life,” Nancy smiled softly looking over to Callum who looked pale but gave her a grateful grin. Then she squeezed Lee's hand, before looking at him again. “But Callum also deserves to know the truth, no one should have to go through life not knowing who they really are. Always wondering, questioning." Callum looked at her his eyes filling with tears. "It may not matter to use what's on that paper but he has a right to know.”

“Nancy is right,” Ben told Lee softly gripping Callum's shoulder, knowing how much this whole situation had hurt Callum. "And even if she wasn't this isn't our choice." Ben told everyone in the room, watching Lee eyes shoot at him and Nancy smile. "Mick and Callum need to decide this for themselves.”

“Right,” Lee nodded standing up, motioning for Nancy and Ben to stand up. "We’ll give you two some privacy."

“Lee you don’t have to go,” Callum whispered feeling anxious and nauseous all of a sudden, when he had been fine a moment ago. He didn't want Lee to think he was special, that this changed anything. 

“This moment belongs to you,” Nancy smiled at him, gripping Callum’s shoulder softly. “We’ll go downstairs, when you are ready come down.” Callum opened his mouth to argue feeling like he shouldn’t have this moment, feeling like he was excluding them.

"This is your moment with your dad," Lee told him softly looking to Mick who was holding back his tears. "We've had hundreds, now it's your turn big brother." Callum opened his mouth to argue only to have Ben put his hand over it, shaking his head no.

“Callum they’re right,” Ben told him moving his hand replacing it with his dry lips, cupping Callum's face. “This is one of those times you get to be selfish.”

Mick laughed softly wiping away the tears that fell. He grabbed Linda hand shaking his head no as she started to go with Lee, Nancy, and Ben. Mick needed her here he couldn’t do this without her. Linda softly told them she’d be down in a moment, they all nodded knowingly. Linda smiled at Ben when he said he’d give Johnny a call so he could be on the phone when they come down. Linda watched as they walked away, turning away to see Mick and Callum who looked about the same state. They knew it didn’t matter what the results said, but they also knew in a small way it did. 

If Callum wasn’t Mick’s son, then this was just another one of Elenore’s scams. At this point Callum could only think the scam was destroying Linda, she had hoped that Linda would be hurt by this. Elenore didn’t count on Linda’s love for Callum, and for her devotion to her husband. They had been through worse than this, and they always come out on top. Mick was and always will be the love of her life, he was not just her husband Mick Carter was her life partner. Sure, they had their low points, even almost broke, but they worked through it, and now they were stronger. If their children took anything from them it’s that you have to work and be committed not only to each other but to yourself. Once the open honest communication stops, then soon the trust you have starts to falter, and then you turn around and realize you are just strangers with a rich history. 

If Callum was Mick’s son then Elenore scam was just beginning, Callum knew how she worked. She wasn’t revealing a thirty year old secret out of the kindness of her heart. She wasn’t turning over a new leaf or trying to write a wrong. No this was a part of something bigger, she had a plan, and it would be nasty. Callum still didn’t doubt it wasn’t to hurt Linda. Elenore never liked Linda, growing up she never said nice things about her. Always thought Mick was settling, that he should have moved away, live some grand adventure of a life. Being Mick’s son also meant that the woman who Mick trusted maybe even loved, betrayed him in a way that wasn’t forgivable. She had kept his son from him, and only revealed it for selfish cruel reasons not known yet.

“Please,” Mick stuttered hands shaking as he raised the envelope, he couldn’t open it. He had honestly tried since Monday, but his fingers wouldn’t work. He had five paper cuts. 

“If it’s okay with Callum,” Linda smiled looking at him, she watched Callum nod gently. She could tell Callum was fighting getting sick, he always got sick when he got too nervous. She used to keep a can of ginger ale with her. “Both of you take a deep breath, and remember we’ll handle this…as a family.” Mick and Callum nodded, Callum closed his eyes not knowing which option he truly wanted.

“So," Mick replied his voice extra loud, that it made Callum almost laugh. "Highway or Carter,” he asked trying to joke but it came out so raw that no one recognized his voice, Mick looked over at Callum who looked terrified. Linda opened the envelope her own hands shaking, she knew why Mick couldn’t do this, why he needed her. Pulling the paper out, she watched them both close their eyes again tight, like the results would just pop up out of the page. She could almost laugh.

“Carter,” Linda told them feeling relief flood over her, though she didn’t know why the emotions felt so intense. Maybe it was now she could claim him, protect him like she couldn’t before. Maybe it was because now Mick finally knew what kind of person Elenore really was. 

“Thank god,” Mick gasped feeling like a brick had just been taken off his chest, looking over at Callum he looked stunned beyond words, Mick then looked up to Linda who was crying.

“I’m going to go talk to everyone, you two come down when you are ready,” Linda told them quietly, watching Mick give her a nod. Walking over to Callum who looked at her like he didn’t know what was happening. It was like he wasn't here. Linda cupped his face making him look her in the eyes, because he had to know, she needed him to know. “You are my son now, not hers...not his…you were never theirs. I swear to you they will never hurt you again, not as long as I live.”

Callum couldn’t stop the tears from falling as her words left her mouth, those words that came out so clear and so stern. Like each one of them were being engraved into his memory for all times. He also couldn’t help the warm fuzzy feeling that overtook him the moment she kissed his forehead. Like her he gently lips were marking him as her son, he almost laughed as she wiped away her lipstick. He felt her embrace him, took in the scent of her perfume. The perfume scent that brought him comfort as a small child. She held him close whispering something he couldn’t quite understand, his brain was fuzzy. It could have been I love you or I am proud of you but Callum really didn’t know. She slowly let him go wiping her own tears away as she walked away from him. Giving Mick a quick kiss she headed out the door quickly. 

Callum could see everyone being happy, Lee and Johnny had been so vocal about him being their brother. Lee had even started to call him big brother, like he had when they were younger. Nancy would probably call Tamwar, who Callum had yet to meet properly, or know really anything about. He had heard a few stories about him but he knew mostly about his brother. Heard about Syed from multiple people, Ben had told him some abut his husband Christian. He knew Syed had a daughter from a previous relationship. That he and Christian were raising her and Ben mentioned had he heard that they were in the process of adopting a second child. 

Callum felt Mick hug him, tell him it was okay he didn’t need to be strong. That was when Callum lost it, he held on to Mick for that moment. He cried for a childhood he never had, he cried for a mother who lied to him, who never wanted him. Callum cried for Jonno who he suspected always knew. He was a punishment for him, she had left him knowing how Jonno would treat him. Jonno kept him knowing how much Mick cared for the boy. He had been a pawn in a sick game he didn’t realize he was a part of. Now Callum had to worry about Elenore, about once this got out. She’d be on to phase two of her scam, or maybe this was phase three. Her scams were always so complex, but she usually always won. 

Mick let him go slowly, wiped away Callum's tears then his own. Mick then picked up the paper needing to see it himself, he needed to see the print. Callum stayed where he was trying to get his breathing under control, trying not to think about what would happen next. He had dreamed many times that Mick was his father, but they had been dreams. Then he had feared Mick would not want him, he had sons already why would he want Callum. Now though, now Mick had made him know he was wanted. Linda had hugged him, loved him, promised him he would be safe. He had siblings who loved him, wanted him. They didn’t see him as someone they needed to change or to complete against. Every time he and Stuart made a step forward something happened, and they fell back ten. 

After a while Mick followed Callum downstairs, after he knew he could do this. Callum laughed as Nancy hugged him tight, didn’t give him a choice of doing anything but hugging her back. Then he felt Lee hug him too, both whispering words no one but them could hear. Mick looked on with a sad smile, this moment filled him with more than he could put into words. Linda held Olli kissing his temple, making herself a promise in this moment. She may not always be the best person, but she’ll also be the best mother she can be. 

Everyone watching confused not understanding what was going on, Mick knew some thought they were probably drunk. He could see people giving them stares looking at Mick or Linda like they should do something. Even Shirley looked happy, giving her son a nod as she looked on. It would come out soon but for this moment it was their secret. Ben grinned as Callum kissed him moments later, it was deep and heated, both moaning into each other's mouths. Cupping Ben's face Callum laughed into Ben’s mouth before Callum buried his face in Ben’s neck pressing a kiss into a mark from last night. Callum was hiding his face away from prying eyes.

It was New Year Day, a time for new beginning, new starts. In this moment they were filled with those feelings. Nancy answered the phone when Tamwar called, Lee looked around at the place he missed watching Whitney talk to a table while Johnny rambled on in his ear. Mick kisses Linda’s head as she held sleeping Olli close. Everyone smiled contently as they watched Ben and Callum now dancing in the middle of The Vic. Neither of them caring who was watching or that the current song wasn't slow. Ben might not be able to say the words yet, but Ben could show Callum in all the ways that counted that no matter what he wouldn't ever leave again. 

The End

Story will continue in a third and (maybe) final installment, **Love Gently**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE CHALLENGE WAS...  
Jacey challenged me to write a Mick is Callum's real father story set in currently timeline, with one rule;  
Be inventive, don't do a Mick cheated storyline. I want Linda to be supportive and not resent Callum. 
> 
> Thank You so much to the 112 people who left Kudos!  
THANK YOU!!!  
Mallorysgirl, beetlebum, Jessica+Cordwell, simt0196, Smugdendingle, Lunchbox, Kexbesj, Lily, Chlo, and if I missed anyone I am sorry. Your comments fueled me, there were times I almost stopped writing the third story but then you would leave a comment and it helped.


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